Advice for reviewing a sitter that less than ideal

Hi, I would like some advice on reviews. I have always had stellar sitters and yet my latest one caused some unease, particulalry with using my bedroom when I specifically said it was not avialable for this sit, only the spare. I had been out of town and was in the midst of a closet liquidation and knew it would not be ready for guests. I told her this 3 times and it was in my welcome guide. There were some red flags to begin with, mainly her wanting to sit but not use the app. Finally she used the app and we confirmed. In her profile she mentioned that she sometiomes sits with her friend, so when we chatted on the phone I asked if he was coming and told her that I would not have 2 bedrooms, only the spare available. She said no problem, he likely wouldnt come and they would make it work even though they aren’t a couple. I asked for her to let me know. An hour before arriving, she said he was coming. They seemed nice and I do believe the dog coverage went well and I was pleased with the communiciation and even suggested that they think about coming again, which was a mistake. Once they left and I returned home, she messaged me and said she had left her headphones in my bedroom and that she mistakenly gave me a wrong review and it should have been 5 stars. I felt completely disrespected and my privacy invaded by her being in my bedroom without asking. I had closed the door and the dog gate in front of it before i left. I said she could come pick up the headphones anytime, she lives locally about 40 minutes away or that i could drop them off 5 days later when I was in town. That turned into a nightmare with her calling me multiple times when she knew i was at dinner with friends. I struggled with what to do on the review and settled with 4 stars and saying that commiunication could be improved and that she left personal items in part of the house that I had said wasn’t avialable to her. She also gave me 4 stars and docked me on cleanliness, liklley from entering my bedroom which wasn’t avialbe. She saw the review and then texted me a scathing reply to my cell phone saying I was petti, that my house was a disgrace even though I always have 5 star reviews. She claimed I was drunk when I returend her headphones and made her wait 3 hours (even though I havent had alcohol in 5 years). How would you handle this situation?Should I ask TPS to pull my review? Her profile now says she only does paid sits which I am not sure why she can even say that on TPS. Or am I overeacting by giving her a 4 star review and it should have been 5? Help!!!

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NO IT SHOULDN’T BE 5 STARS!!! She used your bedroom, when you told her not too, that’s terrible, disgraceful, and totally disrespectful, it’s your personal space, and it’s your house, your rules.

I would say the only time it’s excusable for a sitter to enter a space they were told not too, is if they had a great connection with the owner and were being kind to give their bedroom a quick dust/vacuum before the owners returned if it was a longer stay, or if their dog/cat really wanted to be in that room.

I’m surprised you gave her 4 stars. The site is built on trust, and she has a total disregard for that, it’s an invasion of privacy.

Letting you know an hour beforehand about her friend isn’t great, but she probably didn’t think it was the greatest of issues, with you already discussing it.

Agreeing to meet after you’ve given her a less than perfect score was a silly move on your part, she’s feeling hurt and annoyed/irrated in your case. You should have just posted them to her, or got her to arrange for a courier firm to collect them, because it’s her that left them in the first place.

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@mtnpups

Screenshot her profile - where she states that she only does paid sits - inform THS support@trustedhousesittets.com

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We don’t know if they met after the reviews were published

But IMHO, if they met, it would have been just a kind gesture, not a silly one. From what we know, that’s on the sitter, not @mtnpups.

I’m afraid you can’t do that unless there’s something defamatory or abusive in it.

If that’s in a reply to your review, then I think THS will remove it.

What you can do is reply to her review. There’s no time limit for that but that’s your last chance to have something published regarding this sit, so you can take your time and write a non emotional, factual reply. Sometimes people post their drafts here so they can see people’s reactions and improve the wording if necessary.

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When you reply to her review don’t do it on a defensive way as you have done on this thread as it will reflect poorly on you.

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@mtnpups, what a terrible situation.
We continue to believe that most THS member - pet parent and housesitters - are good people. But there are exceptions.
There seem multiple red flags here. Bad.

In terms of positive actionable steps, suggest that you reflect on learnings and incorporate them into an upgraded version of video call questions/process and applicant selection.

If you consider that the housesitter broke THS rules - not clear to us - then consider open a THS ā€œMember Disputeā€. THS collects evidence, from both parties and may take action (e.g. remove erroneous reviews).

https://support.trustedhousesitters.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360001894038-Complaints-and-Member-Disputes

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Please please, please provide honest reviews of HOs and pet-sitters. Not doing so could be dangerous to pet or sitter.

Say there is a questionable issue or something disagreeable occurred that should be disclosed, but not significant to dock a star. If such is the case, give them the 5 stars but explain the issue in the review. Taking good care of your furry loved one is essential, as is not damaging your home or stealing things. So, let other HOs know the issue and let them decide for themselves if it’s a concern.

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My version of your reply to her review might be this:
It’s a shame that this sitter didn’t follow my instructions to not use my own bedroom her having use of the lovely guest bedroom as agreed. She docked me a star due to my bedroom not being up to scratch- which is why it was out of bounds.

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The title of the thread is misleading. The thread starter appears to be looking for advice in regard to how to leave a review but has already left a review.

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Perfect! (10 character rule)

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Agreeing a mutually convenient time from the beginning would have been a better move, since you potentially signalled you would be open to her calling to collect at any time. Easy to apply such logic retrospectively though, and clearly you were just being helpful and accommodating.

It’s beyond belief that this sitter simply helped herself to your bedroom and slept in your bed, since you expressly stated it was out of bounds, so you were absolutely right to dock stars in your review.

If this sitter has sent abusive text messages to you as a result of your 4 star review, please do take screenshots and take this up with Membership Services. Most of all, please try not to let this upset you too much; it’s over now and you never have to see or hear from this person again (it’s maybe even worth blocking her, for some peace of mind?).

Chin up!

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I think the way the sitter reacted to your review says you were right to knock off a star and to be honest. I hope your next sitter will be better. I would report her profile if she is seeking paid sits.

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Thanks your your response! I’ve never had a situation quite like this before so curious how others would have rated a similiar expereince. I met with her before I had submitted my review.

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Thank you so much! Yes, I was emotional in writing this post on the forum for sure as it came after her text to me but I tried to stick to the facts in my review of her which she still claimed was petty.. I did hear back from THS and you are correct that they are not willing to change reviews and the more I have thought about it, I am justified with being annoyed & giving a 4 star.

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Thank you, I will check into the dispute part just in case and yes, I definitely will have some better screening criteria, though I live in a remote area where often I am lucky to get 1 -2 applicants.

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Sorry, my bad. I was hoping to get advice to know how to reply to her response and know how others would rate this if a similar thing should ever happen again.

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Thank you!!:folded_hands: That’s good advice for sure.

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Hi mtnpups,

Welcome to the forum.

I can see you’ve had some good advice to help you address the reply.

Coincidentally, I’ve recently just shared my advice to help members write reviews - check it out here.

Of course, there isn’t a single way to write reviews, my advice is just one perspective to help people who may be struggling to articulate their experience and differing views are equally valid.

Thanks,
Mark.

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I might have missed something, but we’ve no reason to believe the sitter actually slept in the bed. She just went into the room - for whatever reason. Maybe she was looking for something.. There’s a difference between ā€œMy room isn’t available to sleep inā€ and ā€œDo not set foot in my room under any circumstancesā€. I’ve often gone into unused bedrooms to look for clean bedclothes, towels - that kinda thing. Nor does the OP say the messages were abusive; just that, towards the end, they made accusations which may have been false.

Sorry, but I come from a family of lawyers, so….

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I’d consider such bitterly critical ā€˜scathing’ remarks in a message abusive, since they were clearly intended to demean and hurt the OP and likely in retaliation for the less-than-perfect review received.

But you’re correct, @DieFledermaus , I assumed the OP meant the sitter had used her bed when I read the original post, so apologies if that was incorrect.

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