Greetings,
We have accepted a house sitter for an extended stay. This is her second stay. During her first stay, our neighbors informed us she had a male guest. This was not discussed.
During our interview for her second stay, we were clear that no one other than approved THs were approved for the stay. Now, only one week out, she is asking for her male friend to join.
What would you do?
Why did you choose this sitter again if she had already broken your trust by having a third party on the first sit ?
Would her adding her male friend to her profile as a duo sitter ( ID checked ) make you feel better ? If so then you can tell her that is what you require.
In our experience for long sits many host are happy for sitters to have guests over for company .
Personally I wouldnât have booked her for a second sit if sheâd invited a guest without agreement previously.
Now sheâs sprung it upon you again.
I see that as shady and Iâd be concerned about how honest sheâd be about animal care.
That depends on what I could do.
If I could arrange a different sitter, Iâd cancel the sit. Being that it is only 1 week out, finding another THS sitter is going to be very difficult and can only happen after you first cancel the sit. Canceling the sit means you will either have to rely on friends, family or a paid sitter.
If an alternate sitter is not financially or logistically practical, I would consider how the last sit went. Though the sitter had an uninvited/unvetted sleepover guest during the last sit, was everything else about the sitter and the sit satisfactory? If there were no other problems, you might want to suspend your no guest rule and roll with it.
Next time you need a sitter, skip anyone who has already violated your trust and/or THSâs Terms & Conditions.
@Jwf, time and time again on THS Forum threads in regards seeming misconduct (listing description, behaviour, otherwise) then there is a red flag.
After the first housesit, why did you not discuss the male guest? Or indeed discuss it during video call for second sit?
There are unknown factors here. Duration of sits seems notable (1-2 nights different from 1-2 months). As may be likely popularity of sits (unpopular listings may require compromise by pet parent, just as popular listings may require compromise by housesitter).
How bid a deal is the male guest? If not big deal then ask housesitter to add them to their THS profile as DuoSitter.
How likely are you to find an alternative sitter? If long duration sit, say over christmas period, then you may struggle.
Would you prefer another backup plan? Depending on duration sit, perhaps there is a neighbour or friend or other solution.
No right answer here. But weâd encourage against repeated use of sitter that has been dishonest previously. Just as we would not return to pet parent that has been problematic.
Like others, I would never have had this sitter back. But here you are, so what do you do? Did anything terrible happen in your home the first time? Because the options now are to keep the sit, knowing the male guest will be there (whether you agree to her request or not), or you cancel and find another solution. One week out, there is less likelihood to find someone through THS so you may just need to pay for a sitter or board your pet(s).
What would I do? Not enough information available to answer the question.
Do you go with the devil you know�
If your sit is complicated with a lot of responsibilities and you donât want to go through it again with another sitter, thatâs a reason to stay with the devil you know.
If the sitter was 5 star in all respects and you had no issues other than the deception about the friend, I wouldnât automatically write this sitter off however itâs a red flag that cannot simply be ignored.
If youâve other qualified applicants, they really oughta be considered. If youâve got no other applicants or only a few who have a limited history, then youâre probably going with the devil.
Either way the friend is going to stay over whether you approve it or not.
Ask her what happens if you say no as youve already discussed this and agreed no guests. She may say, ok and go with it. Her response (no problems
..or Iâll cancel - grounds for removal from the platform, Iâd think) and then actions (if she accepts then still has the guest - again, grounds for removal from the platform) speaks volumes.
I would never hold someone hostage like this, nor be held hostage.
You might not but there are problem sitters and hosts out there who will.
You could leave your car unlocked with your purse on the front seat and most of people that walk by wouldnât do anything but a few would go for it or at least think about the odds they would get away with it.
You have made a rod for your own back by using this sitter again. Why did you do that? For me it would have been a hard NO to someone who so clearly disrespects you. She now has you over a barrel at such short notice. Thank goodness your neighbour alerted you first time around. If you do go ahead, then you have to mark her down in the review so that she does not pull the wool over another home owners eyes in the future.
Itâs this memberâs opinion that the host should note this sitterâs behavior in the review. Itâs not something that âmustâ be done.
Iâm wondering why you have given this sitter a second opportunity if she defied you the first timeâŚ..
We had a lady who seemed 5 star according the reviews, but broke the rules of the Trusted Housesitter site. We actually reported her. She wasnât happy for the poor review or comments or for reporting her, but the site requires everyone to be police checked and honest reviews are vital her you are letting someone take care of your home and furbabies. It might be too late to change now, but be honest with your review and also contact Trusted Housesitters to report her for other people to be aware.
Actually this site doesnât require everyone to be police checked.
What rules did your sitter break?
Weâre sitters, but we wouldnât have had her back after she had an unauthorised guest the first time around. Iâd rather pay for someone to sit my pets.
THSâs Terms & Conditions. Sitters are not to have guests without host prior approval.
Also, the rules of common sense.
Iâd cancel the sit-too many games. A week (especially at this time of year) is enough time to find another sitter you like.
As I understand it, hosts generally have a much more difficult time finding sitters during the holiday season and finding a sitter a week before a vacation is tricky regardless of the time of the year.
Other than her not asking your permission to have a friend/partner stay the first time, was she a good sitter? Was it a successful sit? Weigh up the risk of her having the same(?) friend joining her again for this sir & then decide your decision. At least she asked you this time!
@Jwf It sounds like you did not bring up the subject of the unauthorized male visitor in your âinterviewâ for the second sit? Thatâs a bit strange as it was obviously a big issue for you. And disrespectful of the sitter. Was she your only applicant? Weâre you afraid you wouldnât get someone else? Despite the male visitor breach of T&Cs you must have been happy enough with this sitter to even consider her a second time. Most HOs probably would not. The fact she asked you now, even so late, suggests she may not even know that you found out about last time!
As it is now so close to your sit start date it would probably be highly stressful and maybe difficult to cancel her & find a replacement at such short notice. So I would suggest you request a video call with her and the male friend together and get to know him a bit. You can also request she put him on her profile officially and even get her to sign him up as a Duo Sitter so he gets verified. Whatever you do I would suggest taking charge here, tell her what you need to feel comfortable and tell her she has put you in an uncomfortable position as she already knows you have a âno guestâ policy. If you âmeetâ the friend and donât like him then you would be better off cancelling and making other arrangements as she will surely invite him over anyway as she did before.
If you havenât done so already you should mention this rule directly in your listing for the next sitters. Alternatively you can decide to be flexible on your no guest rule, especially for longer sits, and consider each case on an individual basis.