I’m on my last two months with THS and my bio says I’m no longer accepting sits and I got a message asking me to sit for a couple who said they had asked EVERYONE and no one could help, and they really needed me. They even offered to pay to extend my membership and said that was cheaper than paying for a sitter but I declined. I asked my deal breaker questions and all was good. The told me it was getting close to and they wanted it fully confirmed so we managed that and they wanted an in person walk through. I explained that I’d have to drive almost three hours each direction to do so and only wanted to once it was fully confirmed so once it was I did so. The in person walk through went great. The dog loved me, they told me about the gym I could use and gave me full instructions, we shared common interests and had a good talk, I was told I’d be coming back soon and they were happy to have me sit for them but then I returned from the long drive after getting a parking ticket to do the tour, and got a message from them saying they had meet ups with several paid sitters and chose one of them instead. I’m very confused. I’ve been a paid sitter for nine years, I got along great with the dog, they had an upbeat attitude and gave me this full tour and said they’d for sure have me. Originally they had said they couldn’t afford a sitter, I even declined their money, I did a six hour drive and moved two doctors appointments and then they changed their mind. AND I had asked about gifts and they answered about what was acceptable so I went out and bought gifts for all of the pets and humans on my drive back.
MY QUESTION IS… if you really hate someone for whatever reason during the in person walk through after everything’s already been confirmed, are you going to tell them to their face that you changed your mind or are you going to put on an hour long performance about how great of a fit they are for the sit and text them later? I feel like I had a pretend conversation earlier
They sound all over the place. But if it was confirmed and then cancelled by them for what sounds like not valid reasons, you could make a formal complaint.
Sometimes they sound wonderful on paper but in reality it doesn’t work. A lot of work for a knock back. Sharing this has given other sitters a valuable lesson. Thank you.
3 hours drive! You are a saint and what they did to you was not ok!
Ocassionally I wear the HO hat and I don’t make any sitters do an in person meet at all. The only way it’s maybe justifiable is if the pet is super sensitive to strangers but even then I think it would be more useful to do a day handover at the start of the sit rather than meet the pet for a few minutes weeks before the actual sit. Everything else can be done in writing or virtually. Of course you could meet someone and find you don’t click but you can get enough of an impression on a video call to figure that out. You don’t need to meet in person for that.
As a sitter I tolerate meets but I think they have gotten way out of hand lately especially when it’s either having to have multiple meets to show you the diswasher or the washing machine or meeting multiple potential sitters before making a decision.
Doubt they hated you but I think some people take the concept of free (which is supposed to be an exchange) as an invite to devalue your time, when it really should be the other way around. Really sorry they were such disrespectful people.
The walk throughs and meet and greets prior to a sit are a huge ask of a guests/sitters time. I just had someone ask me to come to their place to meet - at a time only convenient to them - prior to even having a call.
Your time is valuable. Even if you are not getting paid for it , once spent you can’t get it back . You can put your own value to it and spend it wisely on things that make you happy. Think to yourself this is time I could be spending with a friend , doing a hobby I love, spending with family, or earning money . Am I willing to sacrifice my precious time for what I am being offered in return?
With regards to meet ups we have done them only when they have benefited us - we were already nearby ( within 30 mins or less ) on another sit , the homeowners were new so no previous reviews and only before we had agreed to sit . Again it’s been for our benefit, if we turn up and the place is dirty or there are any other red flags around the HOs expectations we can withdraw our application at that stage .
A tour can be done by video call - we’ve done that successfully when the HOs wouldn’t be there on arrival . If the HOs are desperate for you to meet their dogs and meet you before the sit is arranged they can bring them to a place that is local to you . If they are not willingly to do that but expect you to travel 3 hours to them it shows that they think that their time is more important than yours . Not a good basis for a mutual exchange .
We have had to turn down unreasonable requests- a 400 mile drive round trip including a ferry crossing to sit with a dog for the day while their owner went to work - the answer was a polite No that’s not possible.
I don’t think anyone’s understanding my post. The issue wasn’t the meet up. I generally don’t do those, I just agreed because they were begging me to sit due to “having no one else” and the dog is extremely timid. Plus it was my last sit with THS so I figured why not. The sit was confirmed and “guaranteed” so I agreed to the meet up. My post is asking HOs if they would tell a sitter to their face that they changed their mind and didn’t want you or if they would pretend for an hour long tour that you are a perfect fit and tell you that you WILL be sitting which was already confirmed weeks before anyway. I just got super creeped out from the interaction after they told me over and over that I was great for it and then just texted on the drive “oh nvm we’re going with a paid sitter” which I am btw. The Jekyll/Hyde switch creeps me out so I was asking if that’s how all HOs would handle the situation
@Looney in my mind it’s not a cut and dry question that you ask.
I am very outgoing, confident, not afraid to speak up, etc etc…and even for me it depends on the dynamics of the situation. But most of the time, yes, I would speak to someone directly either by face or phone.
But for those who can not be as such, they are not “wrong” in their approach to how they handle things either.
From your post I understand that you did a prior walk thru only AFTER the sit was CONFIRMED and then you were CANCELLED by the home host after the walk thru: all done via the platform.
Even though this is not your OP’s issue.
Many people avoid telling people uncomfortable or unwelcome things. That’s agnostic of sitting. That’s why people ghost in various relationships, for instance — personal, professional or otherwise.
Of course, in the case you describe, the host inconsiderately asked you for way beyond what a more thoughtful host would have before committing. And in your case, you didn’t say no, like many sitters would’ve at that stage.
The best outcome from this is that you learn to better protect your time, to establish and uphold boundaries, and maybe learn to better read when someone shows entitled behaviors. (Not necessarily the latter, because some such folks are good at faking.)
The unfortunate reality is, there are folks out there who are selfish, entitled, etc., and the rest of us need to avoid them the best we can.
At the very least make sure that you report the HO to THS - an HO is not supposed to cancel a sit except in extraordinary circumstances. Choosing another sitter after you’d been confirmed for weeks AND spent a full day accommodating them to meet in person & the dog actually loved you is NOT a valid reason.
So please let THS know so they can look into this, to make sure these HOs don’t pull the same trick with other sitters on this platform
I have no problems telling people no to their face, but that has less to do with housesitting and more to do with the fact that I have no problems with confrontation, blunt communication and giving hard messages, which many people really struggle with, i.e. it’s a personality thing.
Example:
I had a sit last year that ended up not happening because I fired the HS on orientation day. We were super nice and still allowed the HS to stay at our place for the duration of the sit’s timeframe, but in future, we would probably not do that again…The HS misrepresented their health and ability, our dog was clearly uncomfortable with them, and HS was defensive and argumentative about the guidance received relating to how to handle and communicate with our dog, which is probably in part why he was so uncomfortable with her. It was one of the most uncomfortable days I have had while using TH.
Luckily, it was only me traveling abroad and my partner had planned to go visit family in country for the duration so we could make adjustments last minute.
Even if you had driven like that, I would have told you no the moment I knew it wasn’t a fit, but that would have happened before confirming you.
If after confirming you, there was a clear red flag, that would have been told to your face.
Did they actually pay for your membership? Did you pay to extend your membership so you could accept their offer? Neither petparents nor sitters should be cancelling for “frivolous” reasons. Unless your hit on one of them, smelled of alcohol, or drove your car through their house, I’m not seeing that here. This should be reported to THS. And if you did pay for your membership to take the sit, then you should ask THS for your money back.
Per part two: Telling people to their face. This can be hard and it’s not always instant. Shortly before joining THS, and one of the reasons I joined: On the recommendation of others I contacted a part time sitter for dropins who is also a neighbor in my apartment complex. She had some mobility issues which nobody had warned me about and I had my doubts even as I showed her stuff to do. There was no key hand over. I did need to mull it over. The final factor was that she no longer had a cell phone. I don’t have a landline. I realized that not only wouldn’t she be able to send me updates, but if she fell or something happened in my apartment, she would have no way of calling anyone. I also realized I’d need another emergency back up if any of my cats had an emergency. It just wasn’t going to work. I wound up leaving a note and card under her door, with a little cash as well for her time. She thanked me. No hard feelings. The call I made was the only one I could have made, but I honestly didn’t make it till she was out the door and my spouse and I discussed it.
I had a video call with a couple who spent ages discussing the minutae of their dogs’ personalities, routines etc along with the logistics around us sitting for them. At the end of the call they told us they’d already offered the sit to someone else but that if they backed out we’d be the next choice. That stopped the conversation dead! I’d much rather they’d have texted to cancel the call and save us waiting around. I suspect most homeowners don’t do this! Purely for how awkward that moment was when we all realised the conversation was a waste of everyone’s time!
@Looney i think you shoild report those hosts to THS. The way they treated you was very underhand. If the sit was confirmed whilst you were still a registered member then they have cancelled for no good reason and should be penalized by THS for this. Plus they absolutely wasted your time getting you to visit them beforehand. You have been treated very disrespectfully.
Okay, I’ll be honest. I would find it hard to say no to your face, especially after you’ve driven 3 hours to get to my place.
But by golly, I wouldn’t have insisted you drive 3 (6!) hours to my place for a meet and greet in the first instance. And they didn’t even offer some fuel money? Rude.
To “fire” someone you need to be paying them. It sounds like what your stating is that you confirmed someone for a sit, had them travel, then decided they weren’t a good fit. Isn’t this outside the THS guidelines?
What word or phrasing would you use instead? This seems like a semantic argument to me especially since I"m pretty sure you understood the context, but happy to write that a different way as I can see how that term would be triggering in a mutual exchange…excused the sitter from caring for our dog, cancelled the sit, ended the sit, did not move forward with the sit…
I’m not leaving my dog with anyone I do not feel comfortable or confident is capable of completing the sit just because they’re at my house. They showed up to the sit and had not disclosed that they were losing vision in one of their eyes and were recovering from a broken wrist. They struggled to take the flight of stairs up to the our first floor flat (1 flight of metal stairs outside). They were unable to carry their own luggage up said flight of stairs. They then repeatedly disregarded direct care and handling instructions and how best to communicate with our dog. Our dog (a velcro dog that loves kids and and adults save for those who are belligerently drunk or aggressive) also showed visible discomfort around this individual. So based on the above, you are telling me that I should have “let them complete the sit”… No thank you. lol Just for context, our dog is not massive (20kg, medium size) but he is strong, active and fast…all of which was thoroughly disclosed in our listing, pre-confirmation video chat, and welcome documents (latter of which, btw the HS had not read by the time they came to the sit even though they were sent weeks before the sit occurrence). I also share links to my training socials which have ample examples of our dog in action so that people can see what he’s like.
I reported the individual to TH myself. TH was appreciative that given all the above, we still extended the HS use of our home because as mentioned, we let them stay at our place sans dog just to be considerate. Sorry not sorry, but that in my opinion is going above and beyond considering the circumstances. And no, if a sitter is clearly deemed unfit, puts you in a situation you are uncomfortable with, did not fully disclose their ability, AND didn’t read documentation provided?..it is not a violation of T&Cs to cancel the sit/dismiss the HS…this was not canceled on a whim or because “we didn’t like you” or “we changed our mind”, etc. It was cancelled because the thought of leaving our dog with that person actually gave me anxiety and stress sweats and I did not trust them as an HS, which completely defeats the point of having a “trusted housesitter”.
So again, when it’s a no, it’s a no. I will cancel at the start of a sit, in the middle of a sit,…I will cancel any time it is evidentially clear you are not suitable to care for my dog. This is first about care for the pets (and home)…not anyone’s ego or HO/HS’s convenience. I will put my dog first every time and I assume that is what we are all aiming to do.
But back to OPs post, this is just one example and what it has looked like for us in the past…I would not ask an HS to drive out and see my dog, after they were confirmed, then change my mind because I want to pay someone else to do the sit, especially without providing clear reasoning and after having insinuated that the sit was still a go to the point that they were buying things for it, etc…I hope OP reports that HO.
