I know in most cases, hosts don’t give their reasoning behind a decline, leading sitters to make all sorts of assumptions as to why they were not selected. Now in some cases, perhaps it was something specific to that sitter, but I truly believe most of the time, it has nothing to do with rejecting that person directly. It is more a matter of just being able to pick one person. And there are countless reasons a host may pick the sitter they do.
I wanted to share a recent experience to illustrate this point. I recently got declined for a sit and the host sent a message saying how much they liked us and hoped we would apply again. They happened to explain their reasoning for why they picked who they did and it is not one that I would have ever guessed if asked to.
The applicant–who had applied for this same sit awhile back and was not chosen–had recently lost her father, and the hosts lived in his favorite place to visit ,so she was hoping to go there as a means of feeling more connected to him. The host said this pulled on her heartstrings and wanted to give her the opportunity to have an experience the applicant believed could be healing for her.
This person presented a very compelling reason to want to visit and the host thought it would be a kind thing to offer it to her.
In this instance the host happened to share her reasoning, but again, many times they don’t. And barring some clear explanation, sitters should not just assume there must be something ‘wrong’ with them in particular, which seems to be very commonplace.