# Broken trust **URL:** \ **Category:** Host Questions, Advice & Chat\ **Created:** [25 July 2025 16:20 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011 "2025-07-25T16:20:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [25 July 2025 16:20 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/1 "2025-07-25T16:20:56Z")
Hello. My latest house sitter broke one of the terms of service agreements. "5.3.10. not allow any other person(s) to participate in the sit unless they have been approved in writing by the **Pet Parent**" What are the consequences? ---
**Author:** ![OnTheRoadAgain](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex013/user_avatar/forum.trustedhousesitters.com/ontheroadagain/32/39331_2.png) [@OnTheRoadAgain](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/OnTheRoadAgain)\ **Post date:** [25 July 2025 16:33 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/2 "2025-07-25T16:33:22Z")
If you raise a “Member Dispute” complaint, please let us know what consequences were meted out. We’d all like to hear. Without such a complaint, THS won’t do anything. When you review the sitter do mention that they had unapproved visitors and deduct stars from the appropriate categories. Do describe what you know about that visit. Was it someone who popped over for tea for an hour or was it someone who stayed longer or overnight? For HOs considering that sitter in the future, the circumstances will carry consequences in the form of lost invitations to sit. ---
**Author:** ![one-eyed\_scallywag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@one-eyed\_scallywag](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/one-eyed_scallywag)\ **Post date:** [25 July 2025 17:16 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/3 "2025-07-25T17:16:12Z")
You have the choice to raise a member dispute, which tells THS that this sitter needs a formal warning. Here’s the process to do this: > [@Member Dispute Process](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/member-dispute-process/65631): > > Unfortunately on rare occasions, members encounter serious problems with a sits / sitters that don’t meet THS code of conduct or break the terms of service. I am starting this thread so that it can be referred to when someone encounters such a situation. These issues can be reported to THS who will investigate but only if a Member Dispute is raised . THS Member Services don’t read the forum and won’t act solely on a complaint that is made in a post on the forum. For action to be taken a Membe… If you decide a formal dispute is unnecessary, then the only consequences will occur in the review that you leave the sitter. Note that reviews are blind, so there’s no opportunity for the sitter to retaliate to the review you leave them. ---
**Author:** ![belluca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@belluca](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/belluca)\ **Post date:** [25 July 2025 17:48 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/4 "2025-07-25T17:48:13Z")
Is the sitter still on the sit? Did they show up with an extra person that wasn’t discussed, or are they having visitors? How did you find out? Do they know you are aware? I agree with the others that you should raise a member dispute, but if the sit is still ongoing, you want to make sure your pet and home are safe. ---
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [28 July 2025 07:08 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/5 "2025-07-28T07:08:14Z")
Hi Belucca. The sitter is no longer on the sit. After the second day, I confronted her. She was not going to stop her boyfriend from coming over, so we decided she needed to go. She found another sit on short notice, but she was angry with me about it. I’m not sure why. I really tried to keep her calm, but I could not. And so it was reflected in her 1 star review of me. By the way, her review of me was really frustrating because she complains about me personally but doesn’t mention the guest/boyfriend. I found out by checking our fully disclosed security camera that is outside. _(edited by Forum team to remove an extract from a private email, in line with our [Community Guidelines](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/guidelines))_ ---
**Author:** ![Chrissie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cab0a1/32.png) [@Chrissie](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Chrissie)\ **Post date:** [28 July 2025 07:16 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/6 "2025-07-28T07:16:33Z")
You can reply to her review of you mentioning she was asked to leave because of unauthorised visitors. ---
**Author:** ![Silversitters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@Silversitters](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Silversitters)\ **Post date:** [28 July 2025 13:47 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/7 "2025-07-28T13:47:14Z")
Have you done as @OnTheRoadAgain and @one-eyed_scallywag recommended and raised the Member Dispute ? THS will not take any action unless you follow the correct process . ---
**Author:** ![belluca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@belluca](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/belluca)\ **Post date:** [28 July 2025 14:50 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/8 "2025-07-28T14:50:59Z")
> [@Portlandmom](#): > > She found another sit on short notice, but she was angry with me about it. I’m not sure why. Unfortunately, there is a trend of folks being caught up doing something wrong and going on the offensive rather than accepting responsibility (not talking just about THS but in general). I hope you left her an accurate review as well. ---
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 06:32 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/9 "2025-07-30T06:32:31Z")
I explained that in my very carefully stated initial review that I spent a lot of time on. I don’t see much point in responding to her review of me. Maybe she doesn’t see what is wrong with having someone sit with her, but I don’t want to engage with her anymore. I can’t tell you how awful it was to have her in our home after losing her trust while we were hundreds of miles away. Say that I was to reply to her review of me (I have definitely thought about it). Would she then be able to reply to my reply? When does it end? Do you know? I don’t think the onus should be on me to have to do anything more, but maybe that is not how this works. ---
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 06:33 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/10 "2025-07-30T06:33:19Z")
I have. It was disappointing. They aren’t doing anything but making an internal note. I guess the idea is that if she does it again, they might take action. They recommend that I reply to her reply. It just seems so silly to go back and forth with her. I am already traumatized by the situation and don’t want to deal with her. Even seeing her profile picture is upsetting. It was an awful experience to be hundreds of miles away from home and have a hostile person with her boyfriend in my home and our cat. He was even there when she wasn’t. He was seen on my exterior camera moving stuff out of my house when she was not there. Awful feeling. It was a risk to ask her to leave early because of the breach and because of her response to it. Now I’m stuck with a 1 star review that sticks out like a sore thumb on my review page. I am questioning if any of this is worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Chrissie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cab0a1/32.png) [@Chrissie](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Chrissie)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 06:36 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/11 "2025-07-30T06:36:49Z")
You can reply to her review and she can reply to yours, that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Silversitters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@Silversitters](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Silversitters)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 06:41 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/12 "2025-07-30T06:41:07Z")
@Portlandmom thank you for the update. I am very surprised and disappointed to hear that such a serious breach of the terms (allowing a third party to stay in your home without your permission ) was not treated more seriously by TrustedHouseSitters when you raised a member dispute. Did you appeal the decision? ---
**Author:** ![OnTheRoadAgain](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex013/user_avatar/forum.trustedhousesitters.com/ontheroadagain/32/39331_2.png) [@OnTheRoadAgain](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/OnTheRoadAgain)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 11:28 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/13 "2025-07-30T11:28:49Z")
> [@Portlandmom](#): > > I don’t see much point in responding to her review of me. If you have no objections to what she wrote about you, there isn’t much point to you posting a response. If you do have objections, you get 1 response you can post to her review of you. 0 or 1 blind review and 0 or 1 response for both sitter and HO. No back and forth. Of course, the last party to post the review response gets the last word. I don’t know what the timeline is to post a response but it is longer than the 2 week review window. ---
**Author:** ![MaggieUU](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex013/user_avatar/forum.trustedhousesitters.com/maggieuu/32/48178_2.png) [@MaggieUU](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/MaggieUU)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 13:33 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/14 "2025-07-30T13:33:44Z")
As a sitter, I can write a single response to any of my reviews forever. That’s because the response appears on my profile so it doesn’t even matter if the HO still has an account. I am quite certain it works the same for HOs. This is why I always encourage members to take their time with those responses. Note: I just verified this by writing a response to a review of mine that is over 2 years old and the HO no longer has an active THS account. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie8K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Maggie8K](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Maggie8K)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 13:38 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/15 "2025-07-30T13:38:28Z")
Yes, I likewise can still reply to a host’s review more than two years later and even though they’ve not renewed their membership. ---
**Author:** ![belluca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@belluca](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/belluca)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 14:23 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/16 "2025-07-30T14:23:22Z")
> [@Portlandmom](#): > > I don’t see much point in responding to her review of me A factual, unemotional reply, especially for something so straightforward, would go a long way to show that the sitter left you a retaliatory review to cover up her own actions. I don’t see whether you’ve left a review for her - but if you chose not to review her AND you have a 1-star review with no reply, it will look like what she says is true. It sounds like you are questioning whether to continue on THS, so perhaps that doesn’t matter, but if there is even a chance you want to try again, you would be well advised to reply (and if there is still time, to leave a review for her if you haven’t already). ---
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 18:39 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/17 "2025-07-30T18:39:20Z")
I have not appealed the decision. I had not thought of that. ---
**Author:** ![mdarden1x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@mdarden1x](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/mdarden1x)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 18:43 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/18 "2025-07-30T18:43:26Z")
People will only see the review you wrote if they view her profile. Your response to her review will be visible to anyone who may be considering applying to sit for you in the future. The option to leave a response does not expire, so you can take time to emotionally recover and consider the full impact of her behavior before composing a thoughtful reply. ---
**Author:** ![Portlandmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Portlandmom](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/Portlandmom)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 18:47 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/19 "2025-07-30T18:47:08Z")
I did a review of her. I spent a lot of time on it. I really wanted future home owners to decide for themselves if what she did was acceptable or not. Maybe some won’t think it’s a big deal to bring a 3rd party without permission, just like our sitter did not think it was a big deal, but they should know about it. I also wanted them to know how poorly she handled it. She didn’t take any responsibility and her tone changed for the worse. ---
**Author:** ![OnTheRoadAgain](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex013/user_avatar/forum.trustedhousesitters.com/ontheroadagain/32/39331_2.png) [@OnTheRoadAgain](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/u/OnTheRoadAgain)\ **Post date:** [30 July 2025 19:17 UTC](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011/20 "2025-07-30T19:17:20Z")
What she did was not acceptable period. THS TCs are clear on that front and violating the No Visitors clause is a huge deal. It’s trusting enough that HOs open their homes to virtual strangers. It’s beyond the pale when sitters cavalierly expect HOs to accept assurances of a virtual stranger that their total stranger, unidentified friend(s) should be trusted by the HO. It’s an outrageous breech of trust, basic decency and common sense and any sitter so behaving should be pilloried in the reviews they receive. Her angry reaction to your challenge on the issue is typical human defensive behavior when confronted by something they did that they know is wrong. It’s a sign of weak character and deserves to be highlighted by the HO’s review and/or response. [Next page](https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/broken-trust/67011.md?page=2)