I’m asking this question of sitters, as I would like your advice. I leave my home in pristine condition for sitters. I’ve always returned home to a house in the same condition. Although I outlined my expectations in my listing, my most recent sitter only stripped the beds and did the dishes. She took good care of my dog. She lived for 3 weeks in my home, invited a friend to fly in and stay part of the time (without asking). (I learned that from my neighbors). When I arrived home after flying all night, the house was basically tidy but I had to come home and clean 2 bathrooms, the kitchen, dry linens and remake 3 beds and vacuum. She texted me and asked how everything was and I told her I was disappointed to have come home to have to clean the house. She was stunned that I’d expected her to clean - she was actually offended. I explained it seemed standard procedure and forwarded her the checklist from trusted Housitters to show that I wasn’t asking for anything unusual. She said let’s agree not to review each other and then told me never to contact her again. Honestly, I was going to let it go until she did that. Should I review her? What do you all think? Of course this is a lesson to me as I should have discussed my expectations in our zoom call, and not assume people read the listing responsibilities or the checklist from TH. . It’s just that I’ve never had this happen before. Looking forward to hearing from you.
She sounds clueless and entitled. I suggest you review her factually and warn off other hosts.
I am sorry to hear about your experience. Your expectations were not unreasonable.
That you let her know you were unhappy with the state of the home unfortunately sets you up for a negative review from her even if she originally had no intention of leaving one. This approach has the potential to make your review of her seem less credible.
That she explicitly suggested you do not review each other, I imagine it would be much more likely she would this if she sees you do leave a review., especially given how she seemed to react to your message.
Ideally this is not how things would be, but unfortunately this is just a reality of the system.
So someone in your position would have the option of not reviewing her and protecting your profile or you can do the ‘right’ thing for the ‘community’ and review her honestly, but in the process potentially make it harder to get sitters in the future.
Of course there is no guarantee she would act in this way, or that it would impact you negatively if she did, but it is a scenario that could come to pass.
I imagine a lot of people would opt for the former approach and I can’t blame them.
Again, not how it should be ideally, but receiving an unfair, untrue negative review it is just a potential outcome when the other party is made aware ahead of time negative feedback may be coming down the pike; so it is understandable people in your position would opt for ‘protecting’ their own profiles.
Of course, if future sitters see there was no review of her and she did not review you, they may ask about it. So you would potentially want to give some thought to how you would explain if asked.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
As a sitter, my standard procedure is to leave the house at least as clean and tidy as I found it. I think the only exception would be if the departure time meant it wasn’t actually possible to wash, dry and replace bedding. Or if I’d stayed somewhere really large I wouldn’t feel obliged to clean rooms that I hadn’t even used. Sitters are certainly not a cleaning service, but it’s reasonable to expect them to clean up after themselves.
If it’s the first sit she’s ever done, it may be a genuine oversight. If not, a balanced and fair review would be fair warning for other home owners, and might also be a bit of a wake up call for the sitter.
Hi @Ptb 
I think there are two separate issues here.
Cleaning expectations can occasionally vary, although most experienced sitters would expect to leave a home in at least the same condition they found it, allowing for practical issues such as laundry not having time to dry before departure.
The unapproved guest is different. Inviting someone else to stay in a homeowner’s home without asking first is, in my view, a much more significant issue. That isn’t simply a difference in expectations. Permission should always be obtained beforehand.
As for the review, I’d leave one. Keep it factual, specific and balanced. Something like:
“Our dog was well cared for, and we appreciated that. Unfortunately, after arriving home from an overnight flight, we found the house needed considerably more cleaning than we had expected, including the bathrooms, kitchen and floors. We also learned that a guest had stayed in our home without our knowledge or permission, which was disappointing, as this should always be discussed with the homeowner beforehand. While I’m grateful our dog was well looked after, based on this experience I wouldn’t choose this sitter again.”
That gives future homeowners a clear picture of what happened while remaining fair and measured.
I would leave a review. I also think the unapproved guest was more of a slip than the cleaning. I would actually report the unapproved guest to THS, but that’s up to you.
Entitled sitter who needs to be exposed through a factual and honest review. In future it’s best not to flag your discontent before the review timeline to avoid a preemptive negative review.
The suggested review wording from @WeRPAWsome is, well, perfect.
This is a tough one. I have never texted anyone after a sit to see if they were pleased. It sets you up. If you say no she will score you low with some excuse. Next time just say, I’ve been so busy since I been home that I haven’t even been in every room in the house yet but I’m sure everything is fine, is there a reason you ask? Then mark her down and mention the extra quest and you having to clean. Leaving the house in the same way you found it is standard. I always do a deep clean before I leave as many others do as well.
So this is a bit of a scam, if not a form of blackmail (in fact I recently created a separate topic about it because it upset me so much when it happened to one of my past hosts):
When a sitter ‘suggests’ a mutual non-review pact, they are the ones who actually benefit. On your profile, people will see the sitter+dates but blank review content, and viewers will be able to click through to that sitter’s profile & see they didn’t leave you a review either — so future potential sitters will know some unpleasantness likely occurred, & could consider it a warning flag.
Conversely on the sitter’s profile, there will be no indication that the sit ever took place at all; it’s as if it never happened. So there will be no flags thrown for this sitter when future potential hosts are considering them. They could have 3 5-star reviews and 10 blanks due to mutual non-review pacts, but there will be no indication of that.
Add to this that your sitter is likely waiting with a defensive negative review already prepared for the moment they see that you decided to rate them after all — which is why it’s such an insidious strategy, imo.
So what can you do? As others have suggested, you really have 2 choices:
- Don’t leave a review. The sitter will have gotten away with it & you will have a blank review, but so long as it isn’t a regular occurrence it isn’t likely to hurt you unduly. You move on.
- Leave an honest, factual, but non-punitive review anyway. @WeRPAWsome has suggested an excellent example. The sitter will almost certainly leave something negative, but most likely they’ll be hurting themselves more than you when they do, as often is the case. If desired you can respond to their review as well, although if you’ve written yours well enough it probably won’t be necessary…most people will click through & immediately know what’s what (particularly if you’ve noted the un-approved guest & having had to clear up after both of them.)
Of course, if you’re feeling especially snarky, there’s a 3rd choice I find rather amusing:
3. Leave a review that says the following: “[Sitter’s name] asked me not to leave them a review.” 
Now for the good news: per @Mark_B , changes are planned soon so that blank sitter reviews will start showing up in the sitter’s history just as they do in the Hosts’ history, making this tactic somewhat less effective.
(A great addition would be if neither party is informed that a review has been written until 2 weeks after the sit ends, at which time both/all reviews are posted at once…but it’s a start! 
)
FWIW, I’m sorry this happened to you. Your expectations were completely reasonable. Your sitter sounds like a thoughtless guest, & rather churlish as well…shame on them.
She was “stunned” and “offended” that you expected her to clean??!! What a complete narcissist! Please, please, please review her thoroughly and honestly. What are some people thinking? Who raised these people? How can they walk around, knowing they lived in someone else’s home for 3 weeks, and left without cleaning? They left a dirty house, knowing the owner would come home after a long day of travel, to discover the dirty house. Where is human decency? It is embarrassing.
Thanks. I was kinda thinking the same thing. Based on the tone of her responses to me I know she’s not planning to clean on her next sits either but perhaps I should just let it be a lesson to me.
Rather it should be a lesson to the sitter!
When leaving a factual, non-emotional review, it potentially does 3 things:
- Alerts potential future hosts
- Prompts the sitter to consider the points raised and potentially up her game
- Informs future applicants that you operate a decent level of cleanliness
Factual reviews aren’t a form of punishment, but a way of informing and improving future sits, for all parties.
I really like, The sitter ( insert name here) asked me not to leave her a review. That was really clever. Whatever reply the sitter has to that will just make herself look bad.
Of course you should review her. She sounds totally immature, perhaps she hasn’t had her own place before. She should have at least left the place as she found it.
@MerryPuppins advice is brilliant.
It’s a shame you already had the conversation with her, next time save it for the review. For all you know, she has already reviewed you and given you a poor review (but sitters can always tell when another sitter review is covering their own backside, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that).
Abso-bloomin-lutely.
You can include the good (took care of the dog, tidy house) but also the bad (didnt clean after a three week stay) and the unacceptable (additional guest without permission).
Also inviting a friend to stay for a week without permission is should be grounds for dismissal I mean we have to respect a pet parents home a house is everyone’s largest investment should not be open and available for just anyone to come use
Bless all of the very kind people on this forum who have referenced the Sitter “ clueless” or “ inexperienced”. To me her actions as recorded by the homeowner seem manipulative. Please, please write a factual review, including the fact that the Sitter asked you not to write a review.
She needs a lesson or two more than you !