Common curtesies

Along with the latest topic of HO not reading your application, how many of you lately have been contacted by a HO after applying for their sit request, arranged a meet up as it is ony local, and then several days later before the arranged meet up have been told they are going with someone else.
To me this sounds like owners stringing along a number of THS, without informing them that other sitters are in the running. We have rearranged our schedule at times to meet these people at the time they requested. Rant over😠

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Sorry @Vsnedden i don’t understand the meaning of rant over. Although i looked on Google translator.

Rant over=she’s now finished her discussion of being annoyed

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What is the problem? I didn’t get it. Is the problem that he cancelled the meeting? Or that he didn’t tell you that you are “only” on a shortlist with other sitters?

Being on a shortlist does not mean that you will be selected. Even if the meeting had taken place, the sit could still have gone to someone else.

Imagine being offered 3 house sits simultaneously: all perfect places and perfect pets.

  • All three HO need a sitter for that one sit only. Sits in the future are out of the question.
  • All Three HO’s want to meet you.
  • Dates to meet must all be made up before the first meeting.

You meet with the first HO. You get along perfectly, and you think this is the perfect sit.
Would you then still meet the others, wasting their time, even though you actually already know that you will most likely go to the first one?

He wanted to meet but found a seemingly better sitter beforehand. He cancelled. What more do you want?

Yes, we were shortlisted a few times, and we met with HO without getting the sit. But all the time we get proper communication and no one waste our time. And that’s all we ask for. Everything else is how a selection process works.

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I have a problem with the assumption that agreeing to a meeting will only steal the sitter’s time. Both sides have time to invest, and it may be useless to one side. But that can also be the HO. We, as Sitters, even can say no after a meeting. And then what should the HO do? Open a post and complain about the mean sitter who wasted his time.

As I have already said setup a meeting is part of the application process. Each side makes its own decisions about how far they are willing to go. But when the expectations don’t match then don’t complain if you don’t get together. And with proper communication, none of this is a problem.

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No one else questioned what I replied to.
It seems every post has be ???
When you reply.

No reaction automatically means: understood or agreed. Interesting interpretation.
But according to your logic, my posts has not yet been questioned. Does that mean that these were clearly understandable or that I was ignored?

Discussion is defined as talking or writing about something, especially to solve a problem or resolve a question.
An example of a discussion is when two or more people disagree and decide to sit down and talk out their different opinions.
The act of discussing: Talk, or writing in which the pros and cons of various aspects of a subject are considered.

I can see none of that in your post. And after I asked politely to understand your point of view, it was you who became rude. And if my post weren’t understandable in contrast to you, everyone can reply to me if they don’t understand something or have a different opinion. And I don’t get rude.

To get back to the topic and maybe we can have a polite discussion about that.
The question still remains, what exactly was wrong about the HO’s behaviour?

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Part of the purpose of this forum is to be a helpful resource for every member, nothing is more rewarding than to witness members engaging in purposeful discussions and while we may not always agree, we can choose to disagree with respect.

Thank you everyone …

Angela and the Team


As I live in France and try when I sit to go abroad, I never suggested to meet the HO before flying over there of course.

But yesterday I contacted a HO and asked him if I could bring my puppy with me (he has 2 dogs).

I was the one to suggest I might come and meet the pets (he lives not very far, around 50 km) to see if the 3 dogs would like each other, I can’t take the risk of course a battle will occur !

I’m ready to “waste” my time, in fact I shall not, with a first meeting I will spare my time (and I guess the HO prefers too to see a sitter not going away because his 2 dogs have done harm to the sitter’s pet

Unfortunately I can’t go further in my experience : the owner has not replied. So far (which is another topic) May be he prefers not to waste his time and select somebody else.

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Hope it works out for you Provence

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If we’re in the same country we always try, if possible, to meet hosts/pets before a sit- usually its just a formality of an already agreed sit. Last year in Western Australia we arranged a few sits whilst there and met all the hosts beforehand. One situation which we did feel odd about was a sit we applied to which already had many applicants. We monitored it for a week or two as numbers rose and they didn’t choose anyone, so we applied. The host contacted us immediately saying they’d love to meet us! We got a good feeling. We agreed the earliest convenient day for them and it was a hour drive away for us. We had a great meeting, got on very well with the family and the pets and honestly got the impression the meeting was just a formality. Then when it felt like time to leave we asked if we should go ahead and confirm the sit properly. They then said 'Oh we’ll let you know in a couple of hours- we’ve got another couple coming! We felt really taken aback, had not realised we were being ‘interviewed’! We felt it was disrespectful they had not said anything before. Suffice to say as soon as we left we cancelled our application and later got a rather wierd unfriendly message from them. So glad we didn’t do that sit!


I received a mail by the HO telling candidates were many to have applied and that he 'll give his final decision in a few days.
So my suggestion to meet a first time has not been held. I guess he’ll prefer a sitter with no dog…
But at least he took time to answer. It is better than silence.


@Lokstar welcome to our community forum, it’s great to have you and please, enjoy connecting with other members.

We are a relatively small but active and engaged start up group as the forum has not been launched to our global community as yet, we are looking at inviting all members very soon.

Thank you for joining and we look forward to hearing more about your TrustedHousesitters journey and having you as part of the conversations across the forum.

Angela & The Team

Thank you Angela! Already enjoying browsing through interesting threads on the forum and made some comments too. Looking forward to staying connected!

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I would like to understand where it comes from to consider it as a formality. Experience?

What if an HO says from the beginning that he wants to meet several sitters first? Do you then cancel directly? Because then there is a chance of not getting the sit?
What if the pet doesn’t like/accept you? Who is to blame then?

If an HO lives on the other side of the world and wants a personal meeting beforehand, then I am not the right sitter for him.
If an HO wants an assertive sitter for his dog and I can’t show him that during a meeting, because all my experience didn’t help with his dog. I am not the right sitter for him and I wouldn’t blame the HO for it.

I think a natural consequence of a meeting can be not being accepted. It is then just like that. There is no bad intention, just a preference, and I don’t like how the HO is presented here without clearly saying why. All I can read is: “I was ready for a meeting, or we had met, but the HO did not take us. He is so rude.”

No one would question that in a job interview, so why here? Can someone please explain this to me?

Our main objection was that the HO did not tell us in advance they were ‘interviewing’ sitters. No problem if they wish to choose that way but they should have been up front about it -not spring it on us as we were leaving. It gave such a bad feeling and they also became instantly cold and distant when they realised we did not like this response. They had let us drive an hour there and spend an hour together where all aspects of the sit were discussed as if we’d be chosen, shown where ‘our’ room would be etc Based on our previous experience of 14 sits it felt like just a formality. Their attitude made us feel like ‘staff’ rather than equals. Not nice.

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For us housesitting is very different to a job interview. We are equal to the HO and the goal is to find a good win-win match. Its an exchange based on mutual trust and honesty. Most of our housesits have been arranged from overseas, usually with some messaging and a phonecall, sometimes a video call. No possibility to meet beforehand in such cases but if you’ve built up a good connection the trust is there.
We are a mature 50+ married couple with an excellent profile, lots of pictures, all 5* reviews, and we always send detailed tailormade applications to hosts. These things plus a call/video call has always, in our case, been enough to proceed to a successful sit.

And yes in our experience the sits where we had a meet up were all formalities after the sit was already confirmed or we had been invited to sit and then confirmed on meet up.


@Lokstar, thanks allot for your explanation.
So it wasn’t the cancellation itself. It was a combination of insufficient communication and maybe false assumptions.
But maybe we sitters, especially those with many sits, should not expect so much and support the HO a little. Then perhaps it is our task to ask the right questions at the right time and not assume anything and that would help to avoid such situations.

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@StefanK Yes you got it- clear communication is key! With every application and every housesit experience, or rejection, we learn something new- its certainly a learning curve! There are always surprises- people are so different- and therefore we are adapting and fine-tuning our approach as we go. The more questions one asks the better because at the end of the day both sides want to have a good feeling and a happy experience. Sometimes you don’t know the question you need to ask until after the experience! But there is always ‘next time’!