Question for experienced sitters: I’ve been on TrustedHousesitters for 14 years and have never had a host ask for my full name ‘in this particular context’, especially immediately before a sit and after we’ve already communicated extensively and the sit has been confirmed. I’m background-checked through THS/Evident, as Sitters are required to be, and I don’t even know the homeowners’ last name at this point.
What struck me was the ‘timing and wording’. The host wrote: “Hi [Name], just wanted to touch base again and see how things are going. Also wanted to ask what your full name is. I don’t mean to pry, but if you are going to be staying in our home that would be helpful information to have. Hope you are keeping cool… 93 here today. Nice breeze but still too warm for me!!”
It was the “I don’t mean to pry” / “if you are going to be staying in our home” / “that would be helpful information to have” framing, followed immediately by the very casual weather comment, that caught my attention.
This is also after a fairly complicated series of date changes 5 times that the homeowner did and asked me to accommodate for and also complicated logistics around the sit.
I’m not asking whether a host is allowed to know a sitter’s name. Obviously they can ask. I’m wondering whether other experienced sitters have encountered this particular kind of last-minute request and framing, after the sitter did an extensive amount of accommodation for that sit and whether there is anything about it that I should reasonably be paying attention to.
Is anyone wondering why Both parties are not required to have a background check? And what if you have the Combined membership type; how does that work? Are you required to have a background check, or not?…
I know it sounds like a reasonable request to have your full name, but it shows that this owner has trust issues. Surly if something happens THS has your full name.
Someone might have said “you are letting a stranger stay in your house and you don’t even know their name?” And got them worried. The careful phrasing might just be walking on eggshells not to upset you. As with any communication it can be difficult to judge without full context .
I think the host should have not said it in an apologetic way, like she has no right. I think a host has a perfect right to know who stays in their home. I think every host has asked for my last name when speaking to me or by text after we confirm. Why are you hesitant to disclose your last name. You have their last name on the welcome guide and their address. I would think a sitter is trying to hide something if no last name is given and I would not have that person in my home. I am surprised more information is not asked by the hosts. Like who to contact in case of emergency. I don’t remember THS asking that information.
Doesn’t worry me in the least if a HO wants to know my full name. Why would it? If I were a HO, I would be a bit suspicious of someone who wouldn’t want to tell you such a basic thing. THS won’t tell you if anything goes wrong.
We include our full names in our application so that in itself is not of concern to me .
If a host needed to change the dates by a day or two and gave us plenty of notice, we would try to accommodate it where possible, provided our travel arrangements had not already been booked. However, if this happened more than once, I would have concerns that the trip may not actually go ahead, or that the host feels their own needs and preferences are more important than those of their unpaid sitter.
“complicated logistics around the sit”
From your description this sit arrangement doesn’t sound like a mutual exchange .
For me the request of my full name would not be a reason to cancel BUT all the other red flags would be .
THS do ask this when you join . However there’s no reminder / prompt to check or update this information . So I wouldn’t be surprised if the information is out of date for many members especially for those members who joined many years ago .
One sitter reported that when they moved home and tried to inform THS of their latest address THS said they didn’t want it !
Personally, I think you are reading too much into the how they worded the framing of it, it sounds fine to me. Plus, she’s started and ended the whole thing with friendly chit-chat, and slotted in the question into the middle.
It may have been their emergency contact that prompted it.
I used to give both of our LinkedIn’s when we first started as part of my application message, just to give a little reassurance, but I stopped that after we had a few reviews under our belt, but in 3.5 years I don’t think we’ve been asked directly for our surnames.
However, if it ever gets asked for in the future, we’ll happily give our full names.
Like others have said the frequent changes of date are more of a red flag to me and I would be very concerned about going ahead with such a sit.
As for having my surname, that’s not a problem. I have often not known hosts’ surnames until post comes through the door for them. The surname is only on their Welcome Guide if they put it on the guide, if they should even provide one!
Good luck with the sit! I hope it goes smoothly for you
After 90-plus sits, I was asked for my name only one single time, on my current sit. The host needed my name only to use on a meet-and-greet sign for the driver collecting me from the airport.
When I started pet-sitting, it came as a huge surprise that nobody ever asked for my name. I assumed all parties would exchange formalities once the sit was confirmed.
P.S. Perhaps your host could word the message in a slightly more sophisticated way, but not everyone is good with words, so do not put too much weight on that.
that would worry me but I really would not pay any attention to the wording or timing of the request.
If you’ve already agreed to the changes and get this far you will probably go ahead with the sit, so the best thing you can do is try not to give to much thought to this and enjoy the sit as much as you can.
@PawsAndPlaces I take it you didn’t have a video chat before confirming the sit or ask for the Welcome Guide or similar document. Are you also saying the listing did not show photos of the bedroom and bathroom as these photos are mandatory?
As an experienced sitter, what attracted you to this listing? I would be more concerned about what hasn’t been provided by the host to you than her asking for your surname.
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