I’m a few days away from ending a month long housesit with a woman and I’m really really frustrated since day one.
She’s contradicted herself constantly and it’s been a nightmare.
We spoke on the phone and everything seemed okay and then a week before the start she wanted me to come to the house so she could meet me and I could get instructions. I drove two hours so that she would feel comfortable. She spent the whole time complaining about other house sitters. At this point, I was regretting agreeing to this housesit, but it was a week away. I didn’t wanna let her down and I had nothing else booked so I went ahead even though I thought it was a bad idea. I also thought I’m trustworthy and responsible so she’ll have nothing to complain about with me.
Upon arriving, she left me a huge cleaning to do list - e.g. cleaning the bathrooms which apparently she didn’t do before I arrived, which is disgusting. I always clean the house before leaving but to not clean before I arrive is a bit inconsiderate.
She also didn’t leave me basic supplies like dog bags and enough laundry detergent to clean her dogs bedding every single day upon request.
I’m looking after a 15-year-old dog and in her words “he might die” whilst I’m there. She has two separate living rooms. One of which the dog is forbidden from being in. One evening, when I was sitting with the dog in the living room that he’s allowed in, he kept getting up and looked restless, so I took him out twice to see if he needed the toilet and then he still came back in and weed on the carpet. There’s a huge stain because it’s a wool carpet and I’m stressing out. I’m stressing out because she’s now backtracking and saying that he doesn’t tend to go in that living room which is complete lie! There are stains all over that carpet and they wouldn’t have a separate living room and make a point to say “have cuddles with him and watch TV” in this one, but don’t let him in that other one.
Then this evening I had to go out for a few hours but I made sure I was home within the time allowed specified and yet I come back to find that the neighbours have been in the property without messaging me or any kind of communication. I’ve text them but they haven’t replied and I think this is incredibly inappropriate because I have my personal possessions in this home. I had sensitive documents out on the table and my devices too. I don’t know why they felt the need to do this, especially without contacting me. The owners have a ring camera on their doorbell. Maybe they were timing me and assumed I wouldn’t be back in time?
I just feel demeaned this whole sit - like a I’m a criminal they’ve graciously let into their home and and I’m being watched. I feel like I’m "the help” and I’m not welcome at all. I could go on and on honestly.
My main concern is that I’ve seen this person give negative reviews to passed sitters and I know she’s going to give me a bad one too. I’m really worried because I depend on this site and I don’t want her negative review to ruin my reputation.
That’s a big red flag right there, especially if those sitters don’t have any other bad reviews from other hosts.
All you can do is write a premptive review pointing out all the issues you mentioned here. When you reply to her negative review don’t get defensive or emotional or adversarial. Just stick with the facts like you did here.
This whole situation really does sound like a nightmare and, I agree with @idocsteve that the big red flag was the negative reviews she wrote for past sitters. That would have stopped me even applying. As @idocsteve advises, write your review stating, in an unemotional way if possible, exactly these issues. I would also report the owner to THS for the lack of cleaning and the fact the neighbours came in when you were out. You went above and beyond travelling for 2 hours to meet her. Trust your instincts in future.
You’re just a few days away from the end of this month-long sit, so my advice at this point is different to what it would have been if you were just a few days in.
Finish the sit then take a couple of days to calm down. Gather your thoughts then write a factual, non-emotional review, addressing each of the salient points (third parties entering property without notice or agreement; unrealistic cleaning demands on arrival; undeclared pet behaviours; inhospitable HO) and deduct stars in appropriate sections. In leaving an honest, factual review, you’re protecting your own interests, since if this HO leaves you a poor review you’ll already have addressed any potential negative accusations. You’ll also be alerting future sitters to the reality of this sit.
It sounds like you’ve ignored red flags and allowed this HO to cross boundaries, instead of being assertive and restoring a balance. Going forwards, try to use this as a lesson learned. And don’t worry about her review, just deal with it and move on, whatever she writes will potentially reflect more on her than it does on you, particularly if you already have good reviews.
I am sorry to hear about all this. Like others have said, the negative reviews of numerous sitters would have stopped me from even applying. While it is certainly possible she had a streak of bad luck and had numerous poor sitters, it is much more likely she has unreasonable expectations, blames sitters for things that are not their fault, etc…and you have now experienced that firsthand.
While I don’t know your exact circumstances, between taking a sit with serious red flags before it even started–reviewing multiple sitters negatively and complaining about them to you– saying you are dependent on the site, and spending hours driving back and forth to meet her beforehand, I suspect that like many people, you may feel reliant on housesitting for financial reasons, rather than just simply taking advantage of the opportunity to save some money. And even if this wasn’t applicable to you personally, I thought it was good to mention this anyway as it might apply to other people reading this.
And when that is the case, people may not be as discerning with their selection of sits; they may be reluctant to cancel ones when those red flags show up prior or turn down requests that may lead the host to cancel them.
To be clear, I am not judging people in these circumstances, but just saying how that dependence can increase the risk of negative experiences-I suspect there is a lot of overlap between sitters who have more frequent bad experiences and sitters who feel very reliant on sitting because of limited financial means.
And as someone who has been doing this a really long time, one piece of advice I would offer is to trust the right opportunities will come along and don’t let fear of not finding sits drive your selection process. If you see big red flags right at the start, don’t even apply. Learn to trust your gut.
@ukhousesitter, welcome to THS Forum. Sorry first post relates to a bad experience. Sometimes the only way to progress is forwards. We believe that most THS members - both sides - are good people with good intentions. But there are exceptions, again on both sides. With experience, members who suffer bad experiences (we’ve had them) often materially review their application criteria and video call questions. We submit applications on selective basis, and withdraw applications after maybe 25-30% of video calls, where facts are clarified or concerns appear. Plenty plenty of sits out there. For context then we’ve had two housesits where, on arrival at property, the Pet Parents have expressed doubt that a pet may survive the duration of the sit. Heck of a way to start a conversation.
I understand your concerns but try to not stress out over getting a bad review because there isn’t anything you can do to change course at this point.
Also, when we receive an application from a sitter with a bad review from a host, the first thing we check is reviews of other sitter’s by that same host. If that host has a track record of giving poor reviews to multiple sitter’s, we figure the problems were with the host and not the sitters.
Rather than stressing out over their review of you, put your energies into formulating your review of the host and the sit. You want to honestly describe what was good and what was not good on the sit without being defensive or emotional. Keep each point you make short:
Rather than arriving to a clean and tidy home for the start of this sit, the host gave me a list of cleaning tasks I was expected to complete to start the sit.
Basic cleaning and dog care supplies were inadequate for the month long sit.
Parts of the living space were off-limits for the 15 year old dog. Carpeting in unrestricted areas had numerous urine stains and the poor dog had indoor accidents during my stay.
During one absence of a few hours, neighbors entered into the house without my consent or knowledge for reasons unknown to me.
and so on…
Potential future sitters will thank you.
Avoid vague generalities like “she’s contradicted herself constantly and it’s been a nightmare.” I understand from reading this that you’re stressed but I do not understand what you mean.
Once the host has posted their review, you will have 1 and only 1 opportunity to write a response. There is no time limit on posting that response so take your time with it. Your well written and succinct review of sit and response to the host’s review can reflect favorably on you without any damage to your THS reputation.
I would just delete “a few hours” here, just to keep it simple and clear. The absence was within the agreed terms and a few hours might lead to wrong conclusions.
In short: do the best you can, don’t worry about what you can’t change and keep up the spirit, it’s just a few more days, you’ve endured the worst part now.
Isn’t this something that should be reported to THS – breaking the 3rd-party rule and not providing a clean home?
Sorry for your lousy experience. You’ve received good advice… hope you can get some better sits in the future. Hang in there if you’re staying for the last few days!