Whether you’re leaving your furry friend with a sitter while you head off for a break, or whether you’re a sitter looking after someone’s beloved pet, dealing with pet separation anxiety must be challenging for everyone involved.
@Jenny, unless there’s a compelling reason then we don’t apply to such housesits. Been there, done that and - in our view - housesitter experience can be impaired.
That said, we observe many degrees of separation anxiety. Not black and white.
On the upside, some humans have formed strong trusted bonds with their animals. We sometimes meet dogs and can effortlessly see a trust between owner and pet. This may present from training/commands or clear boundaries or two-way joy for exercise. Not separation anxiety but rather it’s a joy for human-animal to spend time together. It’s a treat for us to see. We applaud it. We apply to such listings.
On the downside, we’ve had multiple experiences of velcro pets. We’re neither vets nor psychologists but we observe a notably different human-animal relationship. Quite often it appears a parent-child relationship - substitute child(ren). We observe pet sleeping on human bed; bespoke food protocols; complicated toilet/other procedures; different language; all sorts. We make no judgement whatsoever - all good. But we respect that it’s absolutely not our pet(s) but we cannot credibly substitute for the parent/owner. We either scroll past such listings or carefully assess them; ask more specific questions in video call; and only progress if broader listing opportunity is attractive and we’re very comfortable with pet situation.
One tactic that we find useful is video call questions. We ask a series of questions (sleep, eat, exercise, alone, ..). We frame our situation (not remote workers). We communicate honestly. During call, either pet parent or ourselves may self-assess that it is a poor fit. We are completely happy to be declined as a positive common fit is a key objective.
I sat a dog with separation anxiety and did a lot of what’s mentioned below (via Google). The key thing is, separation anxiety should actually be dealt with by the pets’ primary humans, well before any sitting is attempted.
Personally, having sat such a dog once, I wouldn’t do it again.
I did a sit where the host had separation anxiety. I managed this by sending updates with photos of the pets with a reassuring update . I made sure to do this ahead of schedule everyday of a short sit .
When the host later invited me back for a three month sit I declined even though the pets were great and the location was good . I had observed that the host’s anxiety would be an issue , not the pets who were completely fine .
I really wonder why there seems to be so much if this? Are we breeding dogs differently or is it anxiety rubbing off from the owners?
If you could not leave your dog alone at all in Australia you would have a very hard time, it is not nearly as dog friendly as some countries, strict hygiene laws in restaurants, cafes etc means dogs are not welcome in as many places as they are in the UK for example.
We’ve cared for pets who were very attached to their owners, and we found that the owners’ anxiety can sometimes be almost as challenging as the pet’s!
For us, the key was agreeing on communication before the sit started. We asked the owners how often they wanted updates and what would reassure them, then kept to that arrangement. A photo showing their pet happily settled, eating or enjoying a walk often said far more than a long message.
We also found it important to give the pet time to settle with us rather than constantly reassuring them that their owners were coming back. Keeping their normal routine, staying calm and making departures and arrivals very low-key seemed to help.
One thing I think is particularly important is honesty about the severity of the separation anxiety. There’s a big difference between a pet who is initially unsettled when their owners leave and one who cannot be left alone at all. The latter can fundamentally change what the sitter is able to do during the sit.
For me, good preparation, realistic expectations and agreed communication make everyone’s experience much more better.
@Cathie, dogs have not changed. We guess that this behaviour wholly originates in owners - perhaps aided by demographics, covid, and remote working. Harmless to pet owners but impedes viability of many housesitters. On multiple topics we note that it’s not our pet(s). No judgment, we just move on.
Luckily have never encountered this and been a member on here for 11 years. I just returned from an international house sit where the dog took one look at the homeowners when they returned and totally gravitated back to me. I definitely bonded with the dog and the homeowners mentioned in their review that the dog was missing me. It definitely wasn’t my intention to have the dog bond with me and ignore her homeowners when they returned but sometimes that just happens naturally
I’ve sat for several dogs with separation anxiety - and this was declared at the outset when I agreed to the sit.
TBH I didn’t have any problems on these sits because I took on the sit knowing this was part of the deal, and the house environment was one I would want to spend a lot of time in/I had projects I wanted to finish or just time to chill at home with the dog.
What worked for me:
Have a detailed discussion with the owners before accepting. Make sure they are open and transparent about the situation and ask them what strategies together we can put in place to make the sit ‘successful’ for both of us. These have included: i) having a friend or paid sitter available to come to the house for a few hours if I need/want to take a trip or have an evening out ii) leaving me their vehicle so the dog/s is/are comfortable in a familiar environment going on excursions iii) leaving me a list of places (cafes etc) they regularly go which are dog friendly.
Generally the pattern I follow leaving a dog with separation anxiety isn’t that much different for leaving any dog for a few hours: i) take them for a long walk before so they are tired and more likely to relax/sleep when left ii) put calming music/tv on when we come back so that can help with the transition iii) with puppies and food motivated dogs a frozen kong (dog friendly peanut butter/yogurt etc) is a ‘treat’ for when you leave and can distract them for quite a while. Obvs make sure you adhere to their food requirements iv) start with leaving for half an hour and see how they are when you return, and then extend up to 2 hours if they don’t seem distressed v) initially I also sometimes leave my phone in the house recording to see if they’ve been barking or whining.
Keep in very regular contact with the owners and ask for any advice/support, which they are always very happy to give, in my experience.
I’ve found these sits a wholly positive experience, with very supportive and grateful owners, not the nightmare others have described.
I loved @WeRPAWsome’s point about agreeing communication before the sit starts, I feel like that’s the key to making these sits work well for everyone.
I also found it really interesting that it’s sometimes the owners who need the reassurance as much as the pets!
It’d be great to know if anyone reading this is thinking about taking on a sit like this for the first time now, and if it’s changed how you’d approach it.
