Hi, We have a confirmed sit coming up in August. It looks amazing, and we are really excited.
I want to ask what could be perceived as a rude question, without coming across badly. Basically, I have taken childcare along to a couple of sits ,organised outside of THS, (obviously with homeowner consent, but it was friends of friends so slightly different) and it suddenly occurred to me I could potentially do the same for a THS sit. I’m aware its a big ask, and part of me thinks I shouldn’t even ask because I dont want to come across as taking the pee. But also, it would be incredibly helpful for me, and the kids. Its someone we obviously know very well and trust, and wouldn’t be for the whole duration of the sit.
As a host, how would you perceive this? I dont want to put the sit in jeopardy at all.
Depends on the host. I would say no but maybe others would be ok with it.
@catscatscats24
Not clear , are these your children ? Young children ? Grown up children - adults ?
I had to google, taking the pee, never heard that expression in the US. I also don’t understand what taking childcare exactly means. Are you saying you want to bring your own children to the sit or advertise childcare , which is a business in the US where you charge to watch kids in your home while their parents work.
If it is someone you know well, some hosts may not perceive this request any differently than if you had asked if a family member or close friend could come along, and those amenable to that may say yes to this just as easily.
Some hosts do not feel comfortable having anyone else come but the sitter or would only consider guests if they were asked about this prior to confirmation.
I have had a few instances of asking if a friend could visit after a sit had been confirmed-this was not something we had planned on prior to confirmation-- and one thing I was sure to do was make it clear to the hosts that it was perfectly fine to say no and not to feel pressure or put on the spot.
I noted that people coming to visit us is so incredibly rare that asking about a host’s general policy on guests prior to confirmation is just not a question we routinely ask.
In all these instances I intuitively felt it would be okay based on the host’s general vibe…that is something to take into account as well. Sometimes I think you can get a sense of who would be open to this and who may be uncomfortable about it.
Childcare for my kids, who are 11 and 13 but my oldest has special needs so when we are at home we use PAs (personal assistants) so that everyone can access different hobbies and activities etc. So would be one of these PAs.
Its usually another word but the forum wouldn’t let me use it!
We sit as a family. My oldest son has special needs so when at home we sometimes use childcare to help everyone access the activities they want, so bringing someone with us for a few days
So the sit is for you and your children (which the host already knows about and has agreed ) and you are considering asking if a PA can join for part of the trip ?
Really good points. The person who i would ask to come along started as childcare but is now a friend. So perhaps I could frame it like that.
Had i thought of it before the sit was confirmed I definately would have asked, I feel more awkward asking now for sure.
The host seemed lovely, but I couldn’t say if she would be amenable to it unfortunately!
Yes, exactly. Host already knows about the kids!!
Will the PA stay overnight or just join for a few hours in the day?
If the host already agreed to the children , then they may be ok with an additional adult - but would likely depend on if there are enough bedrooms / beds to accommodate an overnight stay .
If you are going to ask I would stress that you will wash additional bedding etc for the extra guest .
They would have to stay overnight as its 3.5 hrs from where we live.
I know they have enough guest beds/rooms as we had a video tour of the house. (Its big, most of our sits wouldn’t ave space hence it not being a consideration before)
I had already offered to bring sleeping bags for the kids as she had said something about all the washing (which I totally understand as if I was choosing a sitter for our place id much rather 1 than 4!) But she said no and that it wasn’t a problem.
I would definately do all the washing before we leave anyway, strip the beds and put things in the machine at very least.
I’m really torn. I don’t want to be perceived as rude.
So the hosts know about your kids already, it’s an additional person that helps with childcare, who happens to be a friend.
I’d tread carefully, you know yourself that the number of hosts that accept kids is smaller, and a host could potentially find it a little off-putting, that you ‘now’ need help to care for your kids, when you’re there to care for their pets, because they may lose faith in you.
I totally understand you asking how to word it because, yes, they could perceive you in a different way. Also, just because their home has a larger number of bedrooms, doesn’t mean they want you to ‘live’ in every room in their home, so it’s a really tricky ask. So it all comes down to the 121 natural connection you have with them, and whether it’s strong enough.
You could just focus on your future sits. Pop it in your profile that looking ahead you would like to occasionally bring your friend/childcarer with you, so that you’re covered going forward, and you can decide as & when.
There is a difference from a friend visiting for a few hours and another person now living there. Do you want this person to spend the night, live there with your family or only come in a few hours a day and leave?
Just noticed you answered this question above.
Exactly my worries. I’m going to leave it this time. Good idea about popping in my profile for the future.
Good idea, you’ve built up such a good track record with your reviews so far, especially with having kids, so other owners that may not have been too keen on having kids stay with their pets, may potentially be more open to you too now, so I wouldn’t do anything to potentially risk it at this point. But it’s totally different for any future sits.
Some hosts would feel pressured if one asks to bring more people after sit confirmation. It is different if it is stated on the listing or application, because then they know before deciding and could potentially match with another sitter if it is an issue for them.
It could be mentioned as an advantage for the petsit, if it allows for higher quality petcare. I have my adult children mentioned in my listing as one or two would occasionally come along. One host asked me if I could bring one of them, as they had three dogs and it would be easier if we were two persons. On the other hand i applied for two of us for a host that wanted «a couple» and obviously they were not interested in solely two persons, for some reason.
The fact that she brought up additional washing with just your children, I think another adult would be a consideration. Extra cooking?
I chose sits this summer since my daughter’s summer was all stalled due to NSF funding cuts. All my HOs were great about letting her come, as she could help with dog walking, she is a non drinker and now studying for her masters. I offered an air mattress, but all HOs had 2 guest rooms for us. But it is extra sheets and towels. And that is just one. Perhaps if you offered to contribute to utlitlies? Since she brought up the extra washing.
I have on my profile, no children. I have only a guest bedroom.. I don’t have an extra bed and my home is not child proofed. This would be a no for me and I would hope no sitter would ask this after confirming a sit.