How to handle an intrusive owner?

I’m doing a two mo sit in Ireland. The owners are lovely but are very intrusive: family & friends nearby stopping in unannounced, a daughter who has house nearby come by to “ straighten up” and take dog for ride in car family assigned to me for same, she even removed milk from fridge (my coffee milk!) . They’re all very nice but I’m uncomfortable. How to handle please?

(edited by Forum team to clarify post title and remove a quote which wasn’t OP’s words :slight_smile: )

Did you agree to any of this beforehand? If so, you’ll need to put up with it. It’s as simply as that. We don’t mind other people popping over, but it’s obviously affecting your stay.

If it wasn’t agreed beforehand, then make them aware in a nice and friendly way, that under the THS rules, it’s not allowed. Also, make them aware that it was your milk but you didn’t like to say. Make them aware that you were under the impression the car was for your duration of stay.

Also, email @support and let them know what is going on, it’s simply not right, you need to be able to relax in their home.

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Hi @Corinne2 , that sounds like a difficult situation. To not know who and when people are entering the house or taking the pet you’re looking after. It would make me feel uncomfortable too. :grimacing:

I would immediately contact the HOs and discuss it. In a friendly, but clear way, I would let them know how it affects the sit. As you said, it makes you feel uncomfortable. These things could have been discussed beforehand.

To resolve this, the only thing that you can do is have an open conversation with the HOs. They might just not be aware of what it does to you and how it impacts your day. Two months is a long time to have to adjust to somebody else’s plans.

I hope it works out well for you! :pray: :hugs:

You should adress this. If it is not agreed to ahead of sit, it is against the terms of service. Even if it is agreed, one can adress the frequency and the unannounced visits. It can be done in a friendly and cooperative way. For instance something like

I hope you’re having a wonderful time on your trip! I wanted to reach out and share that everything is going well with :pet:, and we’re having a great time together!

Your family and friends have been incredibly welcoming, and care for :pet: and your lovely home. However, I’m beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable with the frequency of unannounced visits. I believe even my coffee milk disappeared. :smile:

I believe I am supposed to have the premises to myself during this pet-sitting period, re. THS terms of service. This is to ensure peace of mind for both of us and to help me provide the best care for :pet: while enjoying this stay.

I appreciate their kindness, and I completely understand their eagerness to help. However, I think it’s important that we adhere to the terms to avoid any misunderstandings.

Thank you so much for your understanding, and please let me know if there’s a good time to chat about this.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

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If a friend or family member wants to pop by to obviously make the homeowner feel all is well then that would not bother me. What would bother me is if they did this randomly without contacting you first and asking if they can pop in at such and such time and day. I don’t like people showing up at my own door unannounced and I think this is very disrespectful of the homeowner to allow this. I would not sit for them again. It’s an invasion of your privacy. Also, wanting to check on things once a week is OK but more than that is not.

It is hard to know if this is only this particular host without boundaries or in their culture this is no big deal. At this point I would text the host and say you would like her friends and family to contact you first before arriving. If they ask why, say it is custom in the US to do this as otherwise we feel our privacy is being invaded.

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It’s best to discuss this with your host in a friendly way. Maybe something like:

“Thanks for your hospitality. I’m enjoying hanging out with (pets’ names) and spending time at your lovely home. I’d appreciate knowing ahead of time when your family and friends want to visit, so would you please help me with that?”

Something along those lines can get communications going and give your host a chance to step up, without your starting off prescriptive, rude, etc. After all, you’re on a two-month sit and want the best partnership possible from your host. Plus, if you run into problems later on your sit, these very same visitors might be people you lean on.

If they reply with a rude answer or such, you always change your approach (including citing THS terms and such), but being friendly can help set the tone for better outcomes.

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