Long video call and not selected

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Hi everyone!

The other day i did thr longer videocall i ever did for an application. I dont like videocalls but since was the same language as me and it was for a sitting for a month i accepted.

The women and me clicked a lot, the videocall was exactly 1 hour! It was super nice to talk with her but It was very long.
We discussed everything like she was going to select us, we was concreating all the details, everything and well also she doesnt want someone that go to her city for tourism, are we are not since we was already there.

She explained everything like we was going to take care of her animal, asked everything, etc etc. We even talked about the arrival etc.

Anyway after one hour she told me she need to interview 3 more people! I cant believe and was shocked because she said we was totally perfect and we had an amazing conection and everything…

Anyway 6 days passed and she doesnt said nothing, today i texted her and she told me she will select other person but she didn’t answer me about that by text she sent me a message in the app.

By text she just told me she will let me know today.
For me it was very strange, really home owners interview the 5 person if you already like it someone a lot?

I didnt expected and im sad really because i cant understand :sad_but_relieved_face:

Also the videocall was very long, normally Im used to 20-30 minutes máximum. Has something like this ever happened to you?

2

I am sorry to hear that. I know that can feel frustrating especially if you spent a long time on the call.

There have been instances where we did a call and found out at the end that they were talking with other applicants as well. It does catch me off guard a bit because in our experience, we do not seem to encounter many hosts who are connecting with multiple sitters, and the sit is offered and accepted at the end of the call.

It does not bother me though–they did not offer this information up front but I did not ask either so can’t really fault them.

Or perhaps it does happen more often than we think and we just happened to be the last applicant on the list, and we are the ones they wanted.

Even if a host really likes someone after the call, they may feel better about still talking with the rest, if they have potential as well–for some, this may help them feel more confident about their choice.

And sometimes they will end up with that first person, or perhaps something about another sitter just seemed a better fit for some reason, which does not mean there is anything ‘wrong’ with who was not chosen. It could be something as simple as sharing a similar career and feeling a connection about that.

I think the tricky thing is that these talks naturally unfold in a way where it can seem like the call is more of a ‘formality’ or just firming up details before officially getting confirmed such as discussing your arrival logistics, all the pet info,etc…

Essentially though, it is still just the sharing of information each side needs to know to see it will potentially work.

For the future, if knowing whether other applicants are under consideration is important to you, it is an acceptable question to ask when setting up the call. Like you, I do not regularly encounter calls this long so I don’t ever need to try and wrap them up or state I have some sort of set time limit when scheduling it, though you are free to do something like that if it would make you feel better for future calls.

A week is a long time in housesitting world as far as connecting with potential sitters and choosing one. That is also very rare in my experience.

This happened a few months ago–we spoke on a Sunday and she said she was not talking to the other applicant until Friday. She had also not booked her flights yet, which gave me pause as well.

The next day we saw a sit for the same exact dates and the host offered us it within minutes of us applying–she was so happy to get such experienced sitters reach out so quickly and she wanted to snap us up.

I was not going to pass up applying to other sits I liked for almost a week waiting on one I may not get. Of course if that time passed without seeing other opportunities, we would have done the other sit if offered it–the host seemed nice and so long as her flight was set, would have been happy to do it.

In my experience, when hosts were talking with other people besides us, they had the calls scheduled the same day or within a day of each other at most–it was usually just a few hours in between. So , again, her taking 6 days is also something that is not typical I think.

3

That host sounds clueless. Are they new?

If someone were to try to give me blow by blow about their pets or home during the video call, I’d be friendly but firm and steer them off. Maybe those hosts just didn’t know what to share vs. not on video.

I’ve not encountered long video calls, much less long ones that were bake-offs. Usually, my video chats have run about 15-20 minutes. Maybe because I try to anticipate questions, so have shared relevant info in my profile and applications. I don’t get many questions and I ask relatively few. I expect the nitty-gritty in welcome guides.

If the hosts were new and seemed clueless on a video chat, I might give them a friendly heads up about how to approach THS sits even if I decided to avoid theirs.

4

Wow, I can understand the disappointment and confusion. Some people are just strange. You never know, we have applied for sits, been told they were going with someone else then that didn’t work out and we were still available.
I’m also learning to let go of the “ok” sit in preference to wait for the “right” one. Onward and upward :crossed_fingers:

5

Am I the only one who assumes that owners will have video calls with several people??

I always end the call with: “It was great meeting you. If you are chatting to other people, could you let us know once you made your decision?”

We’ve been petsitting full-time and had loads of owners that wanted to chat to several potential sitters.

I totally understand though that is frustrating when the call lasts that long and you don’t get chosen. :sad_but_relieved_face:

6

She also said the pet sitting was extremely easy because her dog was super easy etc.

And since we spoke the same language we speak a lot, about the dog, the city, many things… So i cant understand her decisión and why a videocall so long? In 8 years in trustedhousesitters i never did such a long videocall.

7

We’ve occasionally had this experience too. It’s disappointing and disconcerting to have hosts say, only at the end of the call, that they are speaking to others. For us it’s an immediate turn off. We often withdraw at that point as it is a sign that the host is not 100% certain of us and we want to be consciously and enthusiastically chosen! Personally I feel they should announce their call plan upfront so that you know the ‘competition’ is ongoing- rather than this just being a ‘get to know you & confirm’ type chat. It would set a different tone to the conversation and we’d be sure to keep the interaction relatively brief.

I so much prefer when hosts take a step by step approach- I.e setting up a chat with their first choice and, if they are a match, confirming the sit immediately. If not then move on and set up the next call. All this should be done asap so no one is kept waiting too long. Those hosts wasted your precious time and built your hopes up. I can understand your disappointment and confusion.

8

@Lokstar I agree. I understand that owners want to find a really good sitter and the best fit may not necessarily be the first person they speak to. BUT, if the first person they speak to seems to be a good fit then why not just offer them the sit?

9

I know how disappointing it is. It’s happened to me a couple of times. The first time, after a couple of days, they said they were going with someone else. Because I had a saved search for their location, I saw they were relisting and they did that for quite a while. They were sitters too, which made it a bit more difficult to understand.

The second time has been recently. We had been exchanging long messages and then we had a long call, we talked about almost everything, they gave me advice on how to get around the island, great places to visit, etc. I didn’t really ask about that. It was a couple, the man said they were happy to have me, they talked about something else and then, right when we were saying goodbye, the lady said that they would relist the sit, “just to keep their options open”. I said I understood and that I was also keeping my options open. The next day I wrote and said I was withdrawing my application because I understood they were not fully convinced that we were a good match and I needed trust to be left in charge of someone’s hosts and pets. Then, the lady wrote right back and apologized in case shehad said something that had hurt me. All previous messages were signed by both but this one was signed just by her.

I really don’t mind waiting if they have other calls arranged and I understand that they want to go with the best option but if they relist their sit, that shows we are not a good match.

10

HO perspective here…I can kind of understand if this HO is new. I used to set up calls with every applicant who seemed like potentially a good fit. And I just try to cram a bunch of information in the call. I would try to couch language as “the sitter” instead of “you”, but that is kind of unnatural in a call so I’m sure I slipped. My video calls are always at least a half hour, usually more, but that’s based on how the conversation goes.

My selection process has gotten a lot more streamlined - but that comes from my own experience with THS, getting better at determining who would be a good fit, and also realizing I need A great sitter, not THE best sitter. I do often set up calls with at least 2 sitters, but again, when I have multiple sitters who seem like a great fit, I am now able to reduce my process so that I’m not wasting anyone’s time (including mine!). There is no way that I could have done that with my first few sit processes.

I will say that waiting 6 days after the call with no follow-up is bad form, especially to be told that she is going with someone else. I always give anyone I’ve had a call with a date by which I’ll let them know.

11

She sent me a sweet message saying thank you so much for my willingness and time and blah blah blah, so I don’t know whether to just apply again if I travel again (even though it’s to the other side of the world) or tell her I felt disappointed after an hour when I found out she was going to keep making calls. What do you advise?

12

The challenge I’ve encountered has been - sometimes my first choice can’t meet for a few days. If another person can meet before then, of course I’m going to do that - depending on how that call goes determines if I keep the original call with the 1st choice person. It’s all a balance.

@Traveler27 I think it depends on what you want from the interaction. If you just want to get it off your chest, go ahead and tell her you were disappointed she met with others after such a long call. I don’t think that will change anything, as HOs do often meet with multiple sitters, just as sitters often meet with multiple HOs, but it might make you feel better.

If you do think you might want to apply for this sit again, I’d either say nothing or respond and say something generic like “great to meet with you, perhaps our paths will cross again”.

13

I wouldn’t say anything. If you’re not sure, it may keep your options open in the future but you can now put it behind.

If you really need

There’s nothing wrong with telling her either.

14

Don’t take it to heart, @Traveler27 . It’s happened to us on a couple of occasions, and for a while it does make you feel like you read the situation all wrong. But, inevitably, an even nicer sit will pop up for those dates and you’ll start to believe in fate :rofl: .

15

In that the case the second person becomes the first choice. And take it from there. One step at a time. If a sitter cannot meet for several days they risk losing the sit. I speak as a sitter. If you snooze you lose in this, sometimes very competitive, game!

16

I would have felt rather insulted by that comment. She could have been more subtle e.g saying she’d like to think about it and get back to you the next day. But to say she’s going to relist ‘to keep her options open’ is a clear rejection in itself as she had the chance to choose you and did not. I’m not surprised you withdrew. I would have done too, probably before ending the call! Or certainly directly after.

17

It took me completely off guard. So I replied what I always do when they say they have other calls and it’s also true that I fully understand they want the best match, I also want a great match for me, if it isn’t good enough I just stay home or look for other sitting or non sitting options.
When I processed what had really happened, right after I hung up, I decided straight away that I would not take that sit even if they offered it but thought I could wait out of curiosity and see what happened. Then, I just lost all curiosity I might have and just decided to put it behind me.

18

IMO, that is a theft of time.

Once you choose a sitter, you can ask for a longer chat or FaceTime interaction for more information, to give a video tour, food prep demo, etc. Some people record videos of these tasks so that they can send them to chosen sitters.

19

That’s pretty much what I said. But when I started out I didn’t feel this way and felt the need to talk to more people. Only experience with sitters has changed that.

That’s dramatic.

The interaction with the sitter is how I know if they are the right choice. I would hope that sitters feel the same. I know there are many sitters who want as little interaction with the HO as possible, but there are some who value these calls as well.

20

I’m one of them. I’m not too busy to have a nice chat with people, especially if there’s a possibility of me staying at their home and looking after their pets. I like to have some interaction before we both make a commitment.

I the term theft only applies when someone takes something from somebody else without their consent or even knowledge. The conversation can be finished by either party as soon as they want.