Would love to hear some strategies to deal with an extremely bossy and intense host.
Examples : multiple questions a day asking how much the dog ate and when, how many poops a day, how long she was alone in the house for,
Plus frequent questions about plans for the day, frequently changing instructions, requests for video calls every second day.
I’m thinking of giving just one update per day from now on and announcing that clearly. Any ideas for polite but assertive wording? 5 more days left of the sit, one very easy dog, everything going very well except communication with host.
I might let them know that “to ease their mind” and allow them to enjoy their time away and relax, that at the end of each day I’ll send an update on how the day went. And I’d send a photo/video or two and then bullet points on those things. I can’t imagine being asked for video calls every other day. That would make me nuts.
Maybe something along the lines of:
“I am happy to send you a daily update at the end of each day to let you know how Spots day went so you can relax and enjoy your vacation/trip/time away and I can focus on the same here with Spot. If I have any concerns or questions I will be sure to reach out, but otherwise we will fill you in at bedtime. Enjoy your trip!”
Has this host had sitters before? What were the reviews like?
PLEASE do make sure you include this experience in your review - it is important for future sitters to know what they are getting themselves into before applying.
In order to send a message that is not all about your boundaries (which are completely understandable), you might be proactive and say, “I am already thinking about your return home, and just wanting to confirm your planned arrival day and time, so that I can have the house ready for you.”
Wait for the answer. If there are any other logistics to plan/confirm regarding your exit, clarify those as well.
Then, the next message, “Since I am very busy with X, Y, and Z, I only have time for one update per day. Do you prefer a morning update, or an evening update? Duke is doing really well (so sweet )! I am enjoying my time here very much.”
You are never going to see these people again! This way, you sandwich your boundary within statements that convey your satisfaction and your willingness to help. You are also giving them “control” over morning or evening choice, which may help soften the boundary. Plus, your question requires an answer, and their response may give you some sense of how your message landed. There is no point now in risking your review!
“Now I’ve been here for a few days, I’ll send you an image/update every day at about ?time? unless anything important comes up obviously. Then you can switch off, unwind, and focus on having fun on your trip.”
Don’t give any wording that gives her the option for her to contact you… or it sounds like she will. But at least if she does, she knows you may not have your phone handy at that moment.
I send updates either first thing in the morning so it’s done for the day (but with your situation the convo may go on some time so I wouldn’t do that), or at about 8-8.30pm, so I can have an automatic cut off at 9pm, because owners will presume they can’t really expect a convo to continue after 9pm as easily.
For 5 days, I’d just roll with it until review time. Then I’d just note in the review that the host was quite anxious being distant from their pet and asked for a lot of communications during the sit. Honest and revealing for future sitters.
A lot of people are neurotically obsessed with their pets and put them in the same emotional category as babies. I don’t understand nor share that obsession but definitely understand how anxious someone would be leaving their baby (human or otherwise) with a stranger before traipsing off to some far flung location.
It’s not healthy nor reasonable but it is what it is. A gentle but honest review will benefit the host and the community.
We’ve had WG sent with bare bone info. Or some info but when you arrive they give you way more verbal info and if you don’t write it all down, good luck remember. I try to take photos.
Some hosts print out their own documents and leave them for you but even then I’ve learned it’s incomplete.
Thanks everyone for the input. I have sent the below message.
Now I’ve been here for over a week and everything is going great. Rather than send multiple updates every day, I’ll send you an image and update every day at about 8-9 pm local time. Morning updates won’t work as I am busy working after the morning walk. I will confirm each time that DOG is doing well, and if anything unusual has happened, I will let you know. Should anything urgent happen, I will of course be in touch straight away. I am taking very good care of DOG and she is happy and relaxed, and I hope you will enjoy your last days in DESTINATION.
There was no welcome guide, in fact no written information at all except for the profile. Verbal instructions were different from the profile. I don’t usually push for welcome guides as sits often go well without them, but in this case, it would have been very useful to have something written.
The person replied saying my suggestion was not at all acceptable and how dare I decide when to update. Plus, she is kicking me out several hours early on my departure day. The sooner I leave the better though, and I will still do the updates the way I said.
Yes, I will put this in a review. People need to be warned of this person. I am quite disappointed with previous sitters for not mentioning this. One previous sitter person said the host “was frequently making sure that everything went smoothly”, but that was too indirect for me to understand.
There were 3 previous sits, all left 5 stars, but they were all for less than a week, mine is 2 weeks.
Wowser!! What an unreasonable host. Hope you survive the next few days and review accordingly. I know you’ve done tonnes of sits so am assuming they’re new & missed the whole mutual exchange ethos #chinup
Completely. She is treating me like a strict boss. And is sure to leave me a bad review, but I will leave her one too. She has 3 reviews so far, I have 79, all 5 stars expect one… so… thanks for your comforting words @Cuttlefish
This will be an important Review to write as you’ll be protecting future less experienced sitters, a few might have their sitting ‘career’ ruined by this host.
If you’re intent on staying, malicious compliance…You could use chat gpt to generate updates:
Based on the previous questions they’ve been asking, just anticipate what they’ll want to know and generate briefs that can be sent out in AM and PM.
On every sit I’ve been on, I’ve erred on the side of sending more updates than less….usually just photos or funny things their pets have done. That has put every host at ease. This one sounds OTT.
In future, if an HO is giving you the icky ahead of time, don’t accept the sit. I’d also leave feedback that the owner was a bit overbearing (in so many words) and you can share your approach to ease the tension. I think folks will read between the lines.
Yes, I agree. I have never before felt so strongly about having to write a negative and honest review. And it is not just to warn newbies, I am an experienced sitter and still ended up sitting for this host. We didn’t totally click when we video chatted, but there was no indication she would be like this.
I usually send one update a day and most people are very happy with this. Once a couple asked for twice daily updates of their dog, but they were lovely and I was happy to accommodate. Never before have I had anyone that asked multiple questions all through the day and demanded quick answers.
)! I am enjoying my time here very much.”