Current sitting for first time THS users - I suppose I have seen a variety of different HO styles in my time but this one is at a kind of extreme for micro management. I think what’s hard in this situation is that this would be somewhat normal with family members (for example) who might be sitting for you, but it’s somewhat inappropriate with an experienced sitter who is an adult!
I genuinely appreciate folks who have a way of doing things, I would say I’m also very detail oriented, and would want to be sure someone in my space was considerate of my requests. But this is bordering on obsessive. I am nervous to give examples as I worry about them somehow reading this!
Has anyone had similar experiences? I honestly can’t think of a way of communicating this to them without it causing unnecessary tension.
Are the owners still there and are doing the handover or have they left and are micromanaging by message?
We had a case where the owners were like that during the handover, but “backed off” once they were away on their holiday.
If they already left and continue, maybe you can say sth like:
“No worries, everything is under control. If I have any questions/doubts I will contact you. You can trust me. Have a fantastic holiday!”
I have. The person I sat for was extremely anxious and needed to make sure we followed all her quirky requirements. We followed her obsessive requirements to the point it became ridiculous. Maybe we should have said something, but it just didn’t seem worth it because it didn’t create a hardship. Oh, this was a seasoned THS HO.
You’re dealing with a first timer who is obviously very nervous and anxious about leaving her animals with a stranger. I’d say give them some slack. If their demands become a problem, just ensure them that you have everything under control and that there’s nothing to be concerned with. Emphasize your wealth of experience caring for animals and other people’s homes. Also sounds like you need to provide multiple daily updates.
Without examples and knowing the length of your stay, I can only guess what I would do in the same situation. It is was a short sit ( under a week) I may just observe her as an interesting psychological study in my head and stick to my boundaries of how much she sucks me into her drama. If it was longer and I really couldn’t enjoy myself because of it, I would nicely have a talk with her.
You have received good advice already but without more info it’s hard to give you direction. Something that has worked in the past for us is “hi. I realise trusting someone with your house and snuffy can be stressful but we are mature insert number here five star sitters who have managed everything from nuclear war to pirates Please be assured we will do everything in our power to keep everything running smoothly but we prefer not to be micro managed “
In response to the question about whether this was pre-sit or after departure. This is all after departure. I would say it has escalated every day since. I am somewhat surprised as they have definitely had friends and family to sit before, and I doubt those people are as communicative as I am. It’s my regular routine with sits to send at least one photo or video update per day, and I have been promptly responsive if they have seen a delivery on their ring camera and wanted me to bring it inside. (As delivery people don’t actually knock or ring the bell!)
I also appreciate the various wordings/strategies to assert a boundary but I definitely sense with this HO that it would backfire spectacularly. Usually I would suck it up and make it the exercise in psychology that someone suggested, but I have also agreed to a second sit later this month! Perhaps that will be easier once they see how things were managed successfully. Who knows!
In that case, I would have an open, friendly conversation and address the situation. I would explain my limits and say if they are not OK with them, perhaps they should find someone else for the coming sit in everyone’s interest.
I would do it ASAP so, if you don’t come to an agreement, you both have time to make other arrangements.
Like others have said, without more specific details it is difficult to give more specific insight–lots of different requests, behaviors,etc…can fall under the umbrella of ‘micromanaging.’
While in the many years I have been sitting, I have dealt with a variety of hosts personality-wise and such, I can’t recall any sits where I felt they behaved in this way. So I can’t offer any advice based on personal experience.
One thing I would say in general though is considering whether the main issue is simply feeling irritated with the person’s way of communicating and doing things, or if it is having a true material impact on your day to day experience, such as truly inconvenient or unreasonable requests. It would have to be something pretty big for me to bother saying anything as my husband and I are pretty go-with-the-flow types.
So if it is more of the former, I would let it go. And as the sit goes on, if you really feel strongly about not coming back, you should let her know as soon as possible.
Maybe suggest to the host that they do not seem very comfortable or confident in your ability to be a great sitter for them. So maybe they want to find a different sitter for later this month?
Put the burden on the host to shut up or find someone else. I’m betting they’ll shut up. I know I would
Rather than saying “everything is under control,” I would include a more detailed narrative, i.e. “Duke and I had a long walk this afternoon and he was such a good boy, and he ate all of his dinner and took his medication perfectly.” It’s really not that hard to write a bit more, and this may address whatever is causing the HO stress.
Now is perfect time to take control, just say
“Now that I’ve been here a little while, I’ll pop you a photo or two around ?time? each day so you know when to expect them, so you can switch off, relax, and enjoy yourself.” and go on to say something sweet about her pet, and send her some photo’s along with it, so she feels happy about things.
Also, send the images about half an hour before the time you gave, so she feels you have total control.
Sounds like a tough situation, are you enjoying yourself otherwise with the home, Pet, and location? Is this behavior simply annoying or ruining your experience?
Curious why you have done this without having gotten through the first sit. Is the location such that you’re willing to go out on a limb like this?
Also, as others have stated, without specifics, it’s difficult to really give specific actionable suggestions. Are they demanding five updates per day? Texting you all day long with questions? Can you give us a little bit of a feel for the biggest problem at hand? Is this one animal? Dogs or cats? Help us out…
I posted for some (fairly generic) advice as I was feeling frustrated with the HO and their messages. Later that day their tone shifted independently and I think they may have understood that they had been a little too demanding.
As I said in a previous message I also respect that they would feel uncomfortable being discussed and so I have avoided specifics as it would make the sit instantly recognisable.
I feel like that has frustrated some here who would have liked a lot more info, but please accept my thanks for giving advice without knowing specifics, it was genuinely helpful.
And for those who asked why I agreed to a second sit - I’m v experienced on THS and able to make these kind of judgement calls!
Funny you said that as that’s part of what I like doing on my pet sitting journey- observing and studying human behaviour and psychology, mostly from the hosts who I didn’t sit for. Sometimes I don’t withdraw applications but already know the answer just to see what excuses they come up with. It’s very interesting how they respond or not respond, how they behave and what they say on the video chat
