My hubby and I are in the middle of a six-month European housesitting adventure and so far everything has been great. Not all the sits have been easy–the bad weather ensured that–but we’ve definitely felt like everything has been fair.
Until yesterday when I got the absolute craziest request,
Note–this was through Nomador, not TH, but I thought it was crazy enough to share.
We accepted a sit in Germany that starts May 16. Made the arrangements months ago, including paying for airfare. Never having been to Germany, we were super excited about this one.
Then yesterday, the homeowner reaches out to tell me her ex is being a jerk and won’t take the kids so would I mind if they stay home. They are a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girl, very nice and self-sufficient, and I’d hardly notice them, and she’d feel better if there was an adult in the house with them.
I was pretty gobsmacked. I raised kids and the thought that I’d leave my children, even as teenagers, with complete strangers, from another country, who don’t speak their language, is something I’d never even contemplate!
I wrote back and told her that no, we would not even consider that. She hasn’t responded, hasn’t canceled the sit, and I’m sitting here with plane tickets I can’t use and 10 days I can’t fill! Even if she comes back and says she got them covered, I’d be nervous that something will “come up” and they’ll be there when we arrive.
Welcome to the forum @lkelly32940 that’s a huge child safeguarding concern . That a mother would leave children for an extended stay in the house with (no offence) a complete stranger who doesn’t speak their first language .
Report to relevant authorities and avoid the sit with a huge barge pole!!
I don’t know what the T&Cs are for Nomador but I would be reporting it to them as a child safeguarding issue - they will be complicit if they allow the listing to continue on their site .
You said that you have already advised the owner that you will not go ahead with the sit if the children are going to be there .You could follow up with two options
that she cancels her holiday (and the sit ) or
2.takes her children with her .
Give her a deadline for a response and in the meantime start looking for an alternative sit.
Or just state that you have lost confidence and will no longer do the sit under any circumstances….I had a quick look and there are several sits listed on THS in Germany starting May 16th and 17th ….so your plane ticket might not be wasted after all…
Please report back on the outcome and hope that you enjoy the rest of your European house sitting adventure .
I would also start looking for an alternative sit or sits to cover your days if you still are trying to make the best of it. If you have the option to, I would just cancel and report. The ask is outlandish but what is worst is then becoming unresponsive in the aftermath. Reads completely unreliable when they don’t get their way and is a huge red flag.
No need for that. In Germany, I don’t think it is something that social services would be particularly worried about.
Kids will be able to speak some English.
Tough situation. For how long was this? Ten days? I would probably do it if there was no alternative. I would like a video chat with the kids present. Advantage: kids can take care of walking the dog.
No teenagers help to walk dogs. Ever. Terrible advice @pietkuip and you’re bonkers to even consider a sit like this. The liabilities & repercussions are endless. Run away @lkelly32940 as fast as your little legs will carry you. On the good side, we’ve always found Germany an easy country to find sits in so you’ll probably find a replacement no problem. #keepusposted
Maybe more people have done babysitting than petsitting. It is not such a big deal. And in this case it may be mostly ensuring that the kids won’t organize parents-free parties. (There was a case in Haren in the Netherlands where such a party went viral in social media: thousands of young people showed up, street riots ensued.)
Of course, the great disadvantage is that one does not have the home for oneself. I don’t know what rules Nomador has about third parties, but my guess is very little.
I’m an American and I’m a writer so my mind immediately went to very dark places on this. What if the “jerk” ex decides to try to target his ex by claiming his kids were molested? What if one of the kids gets hurt? What if they get arrested, or throw a party, or get into a car accident? What if they are really scared about this?
I could not care less about whether they could walk dogs–this is a cat sit, anyway. But I just would never put us–or those kids–in that situation.
I agree with all the concerns folks have raised but it does make me think about how much the world has changed.
I’m 73, but my folks left my brother and me home alone for almost a week when I was 15 and my brother 11. And I’d take 3 city buses across town by myself 2 afternoons a week going to Hebrew school when I was 11.
I think she is trying to get out of hosting you because she doesn’t want to find another place for the kids to stay. Also, she thinks she no longer needs a sitter because the 17 year old can do it now, since he isn’t going to dads. AND , the ex is trying to ruin her vacation because she’s (probably) going with the new guy/girl.
Other than asking her to find a place for the kids to stay, there is nothing you can do.
I wouldn’t take the sit with the kids there.
I have seen much crazier. There were listings with kids. There was a listing with foreign exchange kids! (Japanese ballet girls if I remember correctly)
Then the situation is different. Most people won’t apply, and there is a risk that one gets people that apply just because of the kids.
There are differences between countries and how people view things. I would never consider a sit like this, but when one of my children was in school, someone from another country who had just relocated there was telling me that she had left her young children, who were excellent swimmers, at the pool in the condo complex where they lived so she could take a nap. A neighbor saw the children on their own and called the police. The police gave the parents a warning. It’s not something I would do because I know how it could go so wrong, but I could also understand how the mom felt it was perfectly acceptable where she was from.
It’s still not actually illegal to leave a child under 12 alone in a house in England despite many people believing it to be so. However if at aged 11 something had gone wrong and you were injured your parents would have been investigated for neglect as would parents nowadays, it’s been the law for a long time. This accusation of neglect could lead to children being taken into care- never a good thing in my opinion.
that’s a huge child safeguarding concern . That a mother would leave children for an extended stay in the house with (no offence) a complete stranger who doesn’t speak their first language .
and hope that you enjoy the rest of your European house sitting adventure .
