Host just arrived at their destination sit and sent me a < overly familiar message >. I am not okay with this. I am only okay with pet and home related texts.
I will enforce boundaries and refer to THS rules. But first, I messaged support, but they aren’t online yet.
Anyone else have this happen? Any suggestions?
Seems she is looking for a loose friend. Before departure casually mentioned wanting to travel around with me. I am only here to sit and adhere to THS guidelines. Thanks
Best strategy might be to ignore such off topic messages unless they escalate in some fashion.
Filing a report may result in a follow up by member services or no action may be taken.
If member services contacts the member think about how that person. may feel about you reporting them for what they believe to be an innocuous friendly communication and how they may respond when they write their review following the sit.
Wow, very inappropriate of the host. I hope it isn’t a long sit. I would ignore the inappropriate messages for now and hope she gets the hint. Once the sit is over block her completely.
The minute they picked me up, before I met their animals, they started in with TMI.
I could share details that made it really uncomfortable. Traveling to a new country and staying in someone’s house being inundated with their infatuation is feeling like they are unstable, and could return early if their interest isn’t reciprocate
There was already a issues. After I confirmed they dropped a casual note about a tenant who they recently let access to the house. I mentioned the 3rd party clause, and they ended the arrangement. This is a month sit in a foreign county. The tenant wasn’t there during our interview and confirmation.
Some people are just this way. Sounds like a woman feeling really comfy with you, another woman (if I am understanding correctly). Rather than an actual report to THS I am hoping you are merely asking for advice. There arent any rules being broken, you and the HO are just not compatible personality-wise. So either ignore the messages as suggested or IMO better to simply give the in response to keep things open for important communications later. I would hate for her to not answer you if you hurt her feelings and had a question for her about the home for instance. This is the start of the trip… she’s clearly excited, and you were there to talk to so talking indeed she is, albeit TMI. IF you want to actually ask her to stick to the housesit subject matter, have AI give you some ideas on how to word it really nicely. You want a good review from her so keep things non-confrontational and pleasant. thankfully you are not in physical danger, but emotionally possibly.
Lastly - did you have a video chat before confirming? Did she share TMI at that time too? Wondering if there is some takeaway to avoid this in the future. If you didnt do a vid chat, maybe add that in for the future to get a feel for personality compatibility.
IMO, it sounds like you’re doing the right thing reminding the host of your boundaries.
Without knowing the specifics (please don’t share them), it’s possible that this could be a personality clash or somebody drastically misreading the room. Either way, I think you’re right to trust your gut and have a chat with Member Services. They’ll listen to what you have to say and together you’ll work out next steps.
Although hosts should remain away for the duration of the agreed sit dates there is nothing that THS can do to prevent the host from returning to their own home early.
It’s important that you have your own back up plan incase the host returns early because THS can’t help you with this .
Maybe this isn’t unusual culturally for the country you’re in? If their tmi is geared towards others, then brush it off by ignoring it and only chat about the pet(s). If it’s directed towards you, you need to let them know it’s not appropriate.
As you suggest, reply to her that you just wish to communicate about the pets and house. I wouldn’t bother contacting membership services at this point unless she continues in this vein.
What does TMI stand for?
My first thought was maybe she meant to send the text to someone else. You do realize she could be reading this thread?
I think simply reply back with a message about the pet and home, not referencing the photo would be fine. She’ll get the message or not. I think if it persists and you aren’t comfortable, as in “what do you think?” you could be tactful but let her know your discomfort and divert: “Honestly, not comfortable giving you dating advice. Dog advice, yeah!” Set the parameters but mind her feelings.
The host returning early from a planned vacation to spend time with you seems to be a bit of a stretch. If that were to happen you can deal with it then by packing up and leaving and saying you’re not comfortable with the change in plans and then report the host.
To antagonize them now, especially given the odd behavior so far may result in an undesirable backlash. Always think about protecting your profile.
Hmmm had these additional infractions been in the original post I may have responded differently. Clearly lots of red flags with this one. God luck on navigating this sit, hopefully you can work out the expectations for her and do what you are there to do in an enjoyable manner soon enough. How annoying and frustrating. Especially being in a foreign country as a solo woman. You sound capable and confident and I am sure you will get this figured out. Keep us posted, I hope things improve dramatically. How do you like the home and pet(s)? Hopefully that part aligns with the listing.
I think people have very broad interpretations of what is or isn’t appropriate. Certainly anything bedroom activities, irrelevant health info (I have a nebulizer in the bathroom, and I do point it out), their or your love life, or generally treating you like a therapist. I do try to make my sitters feel relaxed so they are comfortable reaching out with any questions or concerns.
I imagine this person was not intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable.
in response to keep things open for important communications later. I would hate for her to not answer you if you hurt her feelings and had a question for her about the home for instance. This is the start of the trip… she’s clearly excited, and you were there to talk to so talking indeed she is, albeit TMI. IF you want to actually ask her to stick to the housesit subject matter, have AI give you some ideas on how to word it really nicely. You want a good review from her so keep things non-confrontational and pleasant. thankfully you are not in physical danger, but emotionally possibly.