Unpleasant conversation about departure time

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

If I don’t get specific requirements for the time of departure, I assume that I can leave anytime on the last day.

However, I still have some conversation with the HOs in order to accommodate their return. Most times I have a long distance to drive and/or a new sitting booked and I prefer leaving in the morning. Another reason is that if I drive after lunch I feel drowsy and I don’t feel it’s safe enough travelling on these conditions. Most times HOs are happy and if necessary they organize a friend, a neighbour or family who pops in and checks on the pet.

If I have a short distance to drive and no future commitment, I volunteer in staying a little bit longer and give that extra company to the pet closer to the time the HOs are due to arrive.

For the current one month sitting there was no communication about staying until the HOs’ return and there was no information on the Sit essentials either.

Same scenario as above, I was going to have the conversation about best time for leaving. However, this time I have a long distance to drive and a sitting starting on the same day of departure.

The conversation actually started before expected because I sensed from a message exchanged with the HOs that they were expecting me to stay until their return which is in the late afternoon. In the message I was also invited to stay with them if I have no plans and leave the day after. The invitation didn’t really sound very genuine as we had this conversation by accident and I am due to end the sitting in just one week.

When I told them that I have to leave in the morning for the reasons above, the wife said that they were expecting me to stay until their return. I was asked why I didn’t mention anything about the following sitting when I arrived and they say that now they have to arrange someone to look after the pet between my departure and their arrival.

I actually had talked about the following sitting, but I had this conversation only with the husband while we were walking the pet. I am very disappointed that in the group chat he didn’t mention anything about it like “oh yes you actually told me about it, I forgot to tell my wife. Sorry” or something similar.

I was never told about their arrival time anyway.

The pet can be left alone for up to 4 hours (and I was told not to worry about toilet – at night - because he can perfectly be fine for up to 12 hours).

In the end I agreed in leaving slightly later according with the new HOs and that would make 6 hours for the pet to be alone. I don’t think this is the end of the world.

They’re now trying to organize for family to visit the pet. They say that they were not aware of the Sit essentials, this is only the second sitting in a year. Fair enough, but I must admit that the conversation gave me a very disheartened feeling. I’ve spent 24/7 with the pet, going on a trip every day, sending photographs and now it seems like the last six hours are demolishing all the hard work done.

I also feel like there is no consideration at all as we sitters have long distance to drive or other commitments while it seems it’s just about them and nobody else.

2

@Monika, sorry to hear of your challenges. In case helpful, we never make such an assumption. Seems only a matter of time before this ends badly, due to expectations disconnect.

In our experience then arrival/departure time expectations may, on occasion, impact the viability of confirming the housesit. We discuss date and time of PP departure/arrival and our potential arrival/departure in the video call … before confirming any sit.

For example, if a pet parent requires that we arrive early morning and we are traveling from a distance then we may discuss viability of arriving a day earlier, or we may consider staying at a local paid accommodation. Generally, for us, where logistics become more complicated then there has to be a commensurate upside to warrant us confirming the sit.

3

Arrival and departure times are one of the most important topics we discuss prior to confirmation. We always get it in writing.

For example our recent sit stated arrival time 7-9pm which suited us but the actual arrival time was 8am and they hadn’t updated their listing. On that occasion we could accommodate the change as we lived just over an hour away, but it could have been a deal breaker.

We also have a conversation regarding any possible delays.
Occasionally we have left before the host has returned but always with permission and only once we know they are within a couple of hours of home (more critical with dogs).

Such a shame that you are having to deal with timings now after what sounds like a good experience. The issue may be raised by either of you in a review when it could have been avoided.

4

But there may well have been flexibility if you’d had the conversation before confirming the sit. It sounds as though you’re only having that conversation now, whilst on the sit, and you’re surprised that yours and the home owners plans don’t perfectly align…

5

No good assuming when you can leave a sit. It’s important to get all details about owners’ departure and return times when you have a video call prior to confirming/accepting the sit. The offer has been made that you can stay the night they return although you think it’s not genuine. That is your perception and has been your decision not to accept.

6

Since this can be a deal breaker it’s one of the first questions we ask the host BEFORE committing to a sit .

If a sitter has time constraints - such as a flight to catch or long distance to travel to their home or next destination then it’s important to agree departure arrangements BEFORE committing to a sit .

Cats can generally be left for longer but in most sits with dogs it’s necessary for them to have regular potty breaks during the day . Some cats require medication or don’t have a litter box so you can’t assume that a cat can be left alone for many hours either .

7

Assumptions are commonly step 1 on a path leading to problems, as your account of your latest sit demonstrates nicely. Avoiding assumptions is critical to good communications and good communications are critical to a sit.

Most times, hosts may be accommodating but they are rarely going to be happy. If a host is communicating that they’d not be happy accommodating you, those hosts are at least communicating honestly.

Did you ask? Your need to leave early on the last day of a sit requires that you arrange your departure time with the host, your assumptions not withstanding.

If you don’t arrange an early departure with your host, the lack of consideration is not on the host.

It’s only about the pet.

8

Hey Mokina! I can imagine that you have a disheartened feeling. Especially after putting in all the effort, work, and love towards the pet. I hope you will get to the new place safely and that you won’t receive a [bad] review because of this.

Personally, I always ask about arrival/departure before I commit to a sit. I want to make sure everything will work out for both the home owners and me. If I know I’ll have an overlap (beforehand of course), I’ll mention it and we’ll figure out a way. If another sit comes up during the current sit I’m doing, I always chat with both parties on how we can arrange things best. If it doesn’t work out for whatever reason for the current sit I’m doing, I’ll most likely let the new sit pass. Since I’m committed to the current sit.

Of course every situation is different and good communication is key. :slight_smile:

Good luck with your situation! x

(Edited in line with the Posting Guidelines)

9

I believe the details on last day sitter departure/HO arrival, needs to be addressed before a sit is confirmed, especially if dogs are involved. It was good that you informed the husband of your next sit, but that conversation should’ve ended with a firm exit strategy given the apparent stretch of time between your departure and their arrival home. I think both parties dropped the ball on this one.

Glad to hear you came to a mutual resolution.

10

It’s a shared responsibility to discuss these specifics at the outset.

To me, assuming is unnecessary and foolhardy when pets are relying on humans.

11

This is standard information needed for every sit .

The conversation only became “unpleasant” ( OP’s words ) because both parties omitted to discuss it until after the sit had started .

If we know already at the time of applying that we must leave by x time at the latest on the last day then we will include that in our application .

12

I learned this lesson the hard way. One of my first sits, one day before my departure I told the host the time I would be departing. Since their profile said pet can be left alone up to 4 hours. They did not like that as they wanted me to wait till they arrived home incase they hit traffic driving home. That would have had me driving home for hours late at night and arriving home at 11pm. Too late for this senior to be on the road. We compromised. After that experience I always get in writing the time of my departure before the sit begins. Lessen learned.

13

Maybe they’re just a ‘belt and braces’ type of HO couple wanting to put a plan in place just in case they’re delayed, and assumed that a reasonable contingency window of time was already baked into the sit. A phone call might ease thoughts/feelings on both sides. A ‘no blame’ chat focussed on finding a solution that makes both sides feel confident about having a good ending to a reasonably successful sit. I’d use these words when sending a text suggesting the phone call. Both you and the HO need to take responsibility and work as a team to resolve this mis-communication.

14

On your video call before confirming the sit, why didn’t you ask what time will the HO be arriving home and what time can you leave?

15

As others here have overwhelmingly agreed, the time to discuss arrivals, departures, & handover plans is during the pre-booking call. If those logistics don’t fit, the sit doesn’t work. Tbf, the hosts bear equal responsibility for not confirming this as well — but where live animals are concerned, I never assume anything.

I will also say that I’m never entirely comfortable leaving a sit without an in-person handoff for multiple reasons, & particularly with dogs. Flights can be delayed, traffic accidents can happen, & important information can get missed or dropped without that post-sit debrief. I also like to know the host took back possession of their home & pets the exact way I left it for them. It doesn’t always work out when schedules are tight, but I definitely try to make it happen.

Not everyone feels the same, I realize - but for me it’s about prioritizing the animals’ security & ensuring I have complete peace of mind.

16

This is a mistake especially because you have specific needs.

It’s easy enough to avoid this problem with better communication with the host.

17

Note that the term “most” means not every single pet parent/homeowner. You have found the homeowner that doesn’t fit into “most”. Their reasons, whatever they are, are valid. Hopefully you have some takeaways from this sit to prevent this from occurring again.

The reason for this is because when dogs go to sleep their bodies go into sleep mode and they can hold it longer overnight. This schedule is the same one I use for my 13 year old dog. She CAN hold it longer than 4 hours during the day, but it is important to me that my dog stays on her normal schedule (for MOST of the time) when we travel.

I share this with you so you might consider the other side of the thought process, not just your own. You have many valid reasons for wanting to leave earlier than they want you to. Start your conversation of departure NOW for the next scheduled sit and in advance for every sit you consider taking thereafter. Your reviews may depend on it.

18

Thank you all for your messages. I think this is a good lesson too and from now on I’ll always ask in writing if it is ok leaving at x time before formally confirming the invitation.

I think I’d better clarify that I always make sure to arrive on time and/or having an accommodation near to the house. So far I’ve never had any problem in arriving on time (and actually never had any issue in leaving in 20+ sittings, apart from this current one).

I think that the mistake was made on both parts regarding this matter. I assumed I was able to leave in the morning, they assumed I was going to stay until their return. Plus, there are no details on Sit essentials as now many HOs nowadays write possible required check in and/or out time.

Now said this, I’m flagging the point that on the first day I DID say to the husband that I was going to do a sitting on the same day I was meant to leave. The wife in a second moment assumed I was staying until their return and I was invited to stay with them in case I had no plans one week before their arrival.When I said that I was going to leave in the morning for another sitting, I was asked by her WHY I didn’t tell them that I was going to do a sitting on the same day of departure when I actually DID (said to the husband).The husband hasn’t reverted about this point in the group chat that we have in Whatsapp at all.

I find that really appalling, not even a tiny sorry or any word for that matter.

@Smiley maybe it’s my perception, but if I want to invite somebody I don’t ask “if you have no other plans” and I wouldn’t ask either by accident one week before the arrival. I’d invite well back, like I was invited different times at the time we had our first online connection or before arrival anyway. I can’t accept the invitation because I have to go to another sitting.

@OnTheRoadAgain I didn’t ask, they didn’t ask either. As said, mistake was made on both sides regarding this point.

I’ve been invited back by different previous HOs and sometimes more than once. I’ve been invited by HOs and still now by HOs who would be flexible with their holidays in order to accommodate my sitting, I’ve been invited to use their car while officially they don’t do it on THS, I’ve been offered money by one couple… I don’t want to sound vain, I’m just saying for saying that I guess that after all they were indeed happy and that the departure time was fine for them. They were very understanding.
I also want to repeat myself in saying that when I can, I always stretch out my staying a little longer to keep company to the pet as much as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t do it this time.

@emmarrr I understand your point. However in same cases sitters finish a sitting and they go back home. While I am currently on the road abroad for three months and I don’t want to miss opportunities if they arise. Besides, this second sitting is an invitation back from the HOs and I appreciate keeping the contact with them. I wouldn’t lose the opportunity for a few hours.

And as already said, I’m going to stay for an hour and a half more in the end which is not a lot, but I’ve done my best in arranging with the next HOs. I don’t think I have lacked completely in flexibility and I haven’t given any priority to the pet all.

Everytime I do a sitting with a dog I spend 24/7 with him or her. I’d bring the dog with me everywhere. If the whole thing is ruined by just a few hours, I see this as really sad.

19

@Mokina I think you have learnt from this about asking at video stage about arrival/departure times.
With your other post, I’m assuming you’re leaving this dog sit to go to the poorly elderly cat where you have raised concerns. I think you are being pulled in two directions as to what to do for both sits.