On meeting them, the dogs seemed fine with us (with owners present) but now the owners are away, one of the dogs (extra needs) is so stressed out we can’t get near him and its setting the others off causing them to be aggressive unless supplied with treats and separated from the dog with extra needs, we are struggling to medicate him as necessary as we can’t get close to him to apply creams. We understand the dynamic has changed with no owners, but we don’t want to give up these gorgeous dogs who are simply scared and confused, we know its not their fault, but we’re not sure its safe for us
Ask the owners for tips/advice.
Have they had sitters before?
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We have, they have never been left alone before and none of knew this would happen, they’re abroad so little they can do unless they come back which we’re trying to avoid
@Sitter95 I feel for you. Gosh.
You don’t say how long the HOs have been away for. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing. I’d maybe try and stick to the routine, which you’re probably doing anyhow. Interact with the other dogs and maybe leave the extra needs dog to acclimatise to your presence. Maybe when the other special dog sees you’re no threat and the others trust you then it will calm down?
Can you get the HOs on a video call or on speaker phone to try and soothe the dog while you get near them? Or is there some items of clothing that has the owners scent on that you can either wear or put near the dog.
Trust your instincts though and keep safe. I’m sure others will have good ideas.
They should have a back up plan and an emergency contact if you find it’s too much.
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It’s an 8 day sit, started yesterday so we have until Monday before the job is over 
It’s manageable but scary and we are relying on treats a lot to get by, which will be a concern if we run out. We’ve let them know whats going on and are trying different things to work through it, but I’m concerned for their wellbeing with the stress too
Do they have friends, family, etc. in the area who could help - being around the dogs with you, giving you advice while present, etc. ?
Are the dogs (how many total ?) normally a happy pack , equal-ish in hierarchy or is there an alpha or zeta ? The response to the previous question may help you to decide if separating them is possible or a good idea.
Treats, treats, treats….buy more if necessary. If they’re making even a minor difference continue bribing whenever possible (and if you’re worried about feeding too much lessen mealtime food but ONLY if owners say it is OK).
Your concerns for them is lovely and says much about you as a sitter but please keep yourselves safe first and foremost.
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There’s 4, mum, dad, brother (extra needs) and sister, they were a little anxious but okay around us, we’ve asked about family but the extra needs dog is… known to be anxious around anyone other than his owners
Hi @Sitter95
This sounds like an incredibly stressful situation, and you’ve already done the right first steps — keeping everyone safe, separating when needed, and updating the owners straight away.
A few practical things that can help right now:
• Safety first. If you can’t safely get near the extra-needs dog, don’t force it. Keep barriers in place and give him a quiet space that’s completely his, where he can retreat without pressure.
• Reduce stimulation. Keep the house calm, lights low, minimal talking, and predictable routines. Sometimes just lowering the “noise” can help anxious dogs settle enough to reset.
• Treat management. Switch to lower-value items (kibble, plain biscuits) so you’re not burning through the high-value treats. Save those for moments where you really need cooperation or calm.
• Medication/creams. If applying it means you’re at risk, pause and let the owners know you can’t safely administer it. They may prefer the gap in treatment over an escalating situation.
• Short check-ins, not long attempts. Don’t try to win him over right now. Gentle presence at a distance — appear, be calm, leave again. Sometimes that helps them slowly accept you without triggering panic.
• Document everything. Notes, videos if appropriate, so the owners clearly see the behaviour and your safety concerns.
If things stay at the “we can manage it, but only just” level, keep the owners closely in the loop. If at any point it shifts into genuinely unsafe, you’re completely within reason to say so. No one wins if anyone — human or dog — gets hurt.
Clean, calm, and steady for now.
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Please contact the owners immediately and also ring THS Member Services for urgent support your safety comes first.Sending you strength this sounds really tough but you are doing the right thing by speaking up and hoping it calms down soon.
@Sitter95, this is fabulous advice from @WeRPAWsome.
Kudos on transparency and experimentation.
If we housesit a newbie pet parent or newbie pet then we try hard to arrive a day early, so that there is a time to build bond with pet and to help relieve anxiety of the owner (happens!)
Sounds like you’ve got a great mindset and approach. Repeating #1 point above - safety first. Housesitting is not a job. Good luck.
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All this advice has been super helpful, we can’t complete the job how we’d like, but we’ve managed to get to a point where we can at least get through it! Sadly I don’t think the special needs boy is going to settle, he’s to confused and anxious, but relaxing music, separation and treats is making it doable at the very least 
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I once sat a year-old rescue dog who had joined the household only recently and had severe separation anxiety. (She’d never been away for long from the couple before and they normally had their grown kids watch her when they went away briefly.)
We helped her by having their grown daughter stop by as a familiar face and play for a bit, and she went through her parents’ closet and gave the dog a couple of pieces of clothing that smelled like them, which they didn’t mind having destroyed. I’d make sure she had access to the clothing, especially before sleeping overnight.
They also contacted her vet, who wrote a calming prescription. I walked her over to pick up the pills.
All of the above seemed to help her.
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That sounds distressing (for everybody!). Can you contact the dogs’ veterinarian and explain the situation? Perhaps they can be given something to reduce anxiety while they adapt to the new situation? Quite often gabapentin and/or trazadone are given in such situations.
Worth a try - or, at least ask!
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If possible, when faced with such a situation — unfamiliar dog who’s already showing a problem — I suggest having the hosts contact their vet to request help. That’s because it’s not your problem to solve alone — you’re in partnership with them — and some people don’t want their pets on pharmaceuticals. If that turns out to be the case, or the pet turns out to be allergic, you don’t want the narrative to be that you called their vet and demanded X, which ended up hurting their pet. Instead, ideally you let the hosts take the lead and rely on the vet to make the recommendation, if there’s medication potentially involved.
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