I don’t think the OP meant replacing items one by one. It’s reasonable to expect or hope for some bread and milk when you return. Reading some replies here is really sad for me. We are all human. I’d never expect someone to go and buy milk and bread after a long tiring journey, when it’s much easier for me to just leave something behind that might be hard to transport anyway. I often go and buy something too, at least a bottle of milk!
@andrealovesanimals basically my point exactly
Some folks and cultures consider that accepting and offering hospitality do not require reciprocity — it’s considered generous to not expect quid pro quo. Otherwise, it would be consider ungenerous or petty, and folks who are admired are just simply generous, with no thought for “repayment.” I say that coming from an ethnic cultural background where people fight to pay the bill at restaurants, for instance. No one takes turns, pays their own way or splits the bill. That’s all actually frowned upon. It also could be seen as insulting, because you don’t treat the person as generous, or maybe think they can’t afford it.
It’s worth considering that your preferences or practices were learned and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not how everyone should automatically behave — people can have differences of practices, especially because THS draws people from many countries, cultures and personal backgrounds. The key thing is communicating.
@Maggie8K yes things are different between countries and cultures, hence why I wrote - I think it’s a thing we are taught by our parents growing up “and also a country by country way of thinking/living.”
An example, we don’t tip for service in Australia, or VERY rarely tip for anything, because our workers are paid very well, but in the USA it is an accepted and expected practice. I understand why, having been there a few times. We also DO take turns, we do split the bill and we do pay our own way so I totally understand differing cultural practices. So I have just stated my opinion from my culture, we are all different. I have travelled extensively and been on THS a looong time so I totally get it. Each to his own and that’s why we have these discussions.
Yes, but to say someone is courteous or not, or doesn’t behave in a human way (mentioned on another thread) comes across as judgmental of others’ practices.
We all say things that displease and are judgemental at times Maggie, whether intentional or unintentional, as you well know, so let’s not go there. That would open a can of worms that isn’t relevant here. I’ve given my opinion as much as you have given yours, but I’m not here to have the last word, so I’m out.
I don’t have a problem with sitters using perishables, but when they use up and don’t replace saffron and other spendy spices, balsamic vinegar, dried fruits and canned goods, it feels wrong. I live in a country where finding some of these things is quite difficult or has to be ordered and shipped in. I instruct sitters to use up the perishables and i clear out an entire cupboard for their purchases, but i have started to stash my spices, teas and canned and packaged goods in the attic.
Lismac, personally, I think your expectations are unreasonable, but if you require groceries on your return then this should be made clear and agreed in advance with your sitter.