How much $ to help with gas?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
23

400 miles is quite a distance to travel for a sit that is just a few days. If you happened to invite them, and they made this request, that seems a bit more understandable to me, though I probably still would not ask in this case.

If they are choosing to travel this long distance for whatever reason, whether it is specifically for your sit, they are hoping to spend time in your general region and your sit will get them going in that direction,etc…then I don’t think it is appropriate to ask this outright. If a sitter can’t afford the cost of travel for a sit, they should not be applying in my opinion.

I get the cost of gas feeling burdensome….I am currently sitting in California, which has the highest gas prices in the United States at all times, so prices now are particularly expensive. Our next sit is the start of our Northern California ‘adventure’ and is 6 hours away-we decided to fill up the tank on our last outing to go food shopping and it surely stung a bit!

I think it is kind of you to consider this, but please do not feel you are under any obligation. If you think you may have difficulty securing a sitter, and this person is your best shot, then it could make sense to follow through on the offer.

If hosts want to make an offer to contribute to fuel costs upfront, that is very kind of them and I think it would be totally fine for sitters to take them up on it. But for sitters that feel that hosts somehow should bear some sort of responsibility for their travel costs to the point of outright asking them, I don’t agree with that–again, if a sitter can’t afford to get themselves to a sit, I don’t think they should apply.

I get that costs have risen, and again, if hosts want to make offers for assistance, that is great. But I just don’t think it is right for sitters to ask–while it isn’t exactly the same as asking to be paid for the sit, it’s kind of in that neighborhood to me, and I imagine if you were to ask THS about it, they would likely say that sitters shouldn’t be asking for such things.

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24

I imagine your travel costs may also have increased, which would suggest the sitter is self-focused and not considering the mutuality of the exchange. Unless you invited them to the sit, I feel no money should be exchanged.

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25

Once sitters start asking for transportation help because of “these times”, it will become the norm, and anyone who doesn’t provide it will be seen as a bad HO.

I understand that HOs with difficulty filling a sit might offer some enticements, and that’s fine, but IMO there should never be any monetary enticement build into an HO’s profile (including “I will pay your booking fee”). It undermines the whole concept. And I’d have a really hard time trusting any sitter that asked for money on this platform.

I have never asked for utilities either, and while I thought at the beginning there might be a circumstance in which I would ask, at this point I don’t see how I ever would.

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26

I’m a long time sitter. It would never occur to me to ask for gas money though I have driven up to 1,000 miles to some sits. I joined with the understanding that the lodging you get in some fabulous places is the trade-off for travel expense and pet care. Thoughtful hosts who want you to be comfortable and to enjoy their location are the ones who make me want to return.

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27

I want to be sure that I understand :

Is the sitter asking you to pay for gas required to get her from your sit to another sit ?

If this is correct, it is against THS policies. Sitters are solely responsible for their travel/transport to & from sits. Further , it sets a bad standard and encourages this behaviour.

Sure, it would be a lovely gesture on your part to contribute and you can do as you wish; and, I stand by my belief that sitters who can’t afford transport to & from sits (even under current conditions which are admittedly challenging for all) should not be applying for those sits.

And, asking for a “contribution” after a sit is confirmed is even worse…..even if there is “no pressure”.

(That “no pressure” is akin to the horrible standard of paying for a coffee by cc and having the barista standing in front of you while you consider that “no pressure” tip being offered on the scanner. Sure, you can press, “No”, …..but…….the pressure and awkwardness)

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29

I completely agree that asking for renumeration is patently absurd in this platform… sure costs are up, but if this were an exchange of money for service, that would be taken into account. Since this a trade, I was so happy to detail and fill up the tank of the car I was given on a month long sit in Hawaii last summer. And now that same HO and I are traveling together to another sit on another island in Hawai’i soon… we’ve actually become friends. Thats The joy of being generous and not expecting anything…. Lucky me!

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30

Would it be okay for a host to ask a sitter to help out with gas $? Host or sitter, we’re all paying more for everything and the more keeps going up every day. What am I missing that makes it okay for a sitter (or host) to ask for money? Obviously, it’s against THS rules but some here seem amenable to the notion so I’m obviously missing something.

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31

@sandydandy yes I always detail and leave a full tank of fuel when departing a sit if I have used the homeowners car, I think it is common courtesy. Lovely you have become such good friends with your previous homeowner, just goes to show what a wonderful outcome a good, reliable and nice sitter can achieve. Well done you :raising_hands:

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32

Thank you! - we really appreciate your support

33

Plus one and came to say the same re:last paragraph…if you have expectations for your pet to be regularly driven someplace, I’d expect gas money for that.

If you want to give money for anything else out of the goodness of your heart, that’s up to you but awkward that they’d ask and it is against policy.

Similarly, I would never ask for food money but I do always ask how off limits food in the house is, I.e. are we allowed to borrow spices and consume things that would go bad while they’re gone but most hosts are pretty laid back about sharing condiments/perishables or for instance helping with a grocery/supply run if we don’t have a vehicle so we can ensure we’re stocked with what we need before leaving (this is also something we used to offer for long sits to help make sure sitter was set up comfortably)

34

Hi Snowbird, thank you so much for your thorough and helpful response. I had other applicants but asked this sitter, who has sat for us before, back. She responded quickly and was interested, then a day later mentioned the gas “donation.” We had another sit with her planned a few months ago that we needed to cancel due to an injury, so I don’t feel like I can, in good faith, cancel on her again. The sit begins mid next week. I’m a bit scared now hearing your comment about red flags in retrospect. What do you suggest I do? Thank you so much.

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Oh I do indeed feel pressured and like if I don’t I look like a jerk, lol. I wish she had mentioned this before we confirmed.

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Hard not to feel pressured. What would happen if you said “I’m not comfortable with that, our costs have increased too” ?

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37

Yes, costs have really skyrocketed with utilities. Still reeling from this past winter’s electric bills.

We do not ask a sitter to contribute towards utilities. We take care of it.

Sitters sit voluntarily. It is on them to be able to afford the travel which they voluntarily choose to do.

Plus asking for money is against THS rules.

This ask for gas money could be just the beginning of other “asks”.

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38

@zzz I can see how the extra details you’ve provided of your history with this sitter does make things more complicated. However, given you say you listed the sit (and not merely approached her) and then she accepted, she is certainly inappropriate in asking for money. I understand that you feel pressured, which is reasonable, especially given that your sit starts next week.

My red flag, not knowing all the details that I do now, was thinking someone was using you to fill a gap en route to a booked sit they had closer to you. It would have lessened their travel costs and provided a home for a few days that they otherwise would have had to pay for accommodation. However, given the extra details you’ve provided, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I can’t give you advice as to what to do as only you know all the variables of your sit, your travel plans, and your other options near you. I am sorry you’re in this uncomfortable position.

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Good answer!

40

Ugh you are so right, I should have responded asking if she was sure she wanted to take the sit rather than just agreeing to chip in. Maybe I will follow up with her and double check that she really wants to do the sit and that she doesn’t feel pressured to drive down here. I have a feeling she does really want to come, but it might subtilely highlight that it’s abnormal…

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41

If you do help and you have not thought of it, I would not give her money but instead a gas card.

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42

@SoloGal made an excellent suggestion. Leave her a gas card, not cash.

If money is so tight for this sitter, you might also want to be proactive in setting other boundaries. For example, what they may/may not use from the fridge and cupboards.

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