Going to such extremes while sitting pretty much sets up your expectation that you’ll get a stellar review, so if you don’t, it’s all the more crushing. If you enjoy doing such unnecessary work, better to do it without expectations, for your own sake. Or save yourself the overkill.
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I’ve gone above and beyond for people before, only to realise that some of these people respected me less afterwards.
I think I’m also a recovering people pleaser.
I agree with what’s been said: some people look for things to criticise, no matter how well you do. Some people have impossible standards nobody can meet. None of us can control another person’s behaviour.
Let me rephrase some good advice I got after posting about a bad sit:
Ask yourself after a sit if you did everything to the best of your ability in the situation you were in. If the answer is yes, try to mentally close that chapter. (If no, you can learn from it and do better next time.)
If someone is nasty to others, it always says more about them than the other person.
And very important: sitting should be fun for you! It’s not all about pleasing the other person, it’s for you to have a good time! Otherwise, what’s the point?
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Wow … please apply to our sits in beautiful Asheville, NC… we promise to be reasonable and grateful for so much thoughtfulness and care!
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Yes - we had this recently. Our HO left a brief but nice review, 5* for each category, but 3* overall. You can imagine we were dismayed, and also wondering what, what have we done/not done?
I wondered if there had been a system glitch, if overall was amalgamated from categories, and messaged TH to ask… meanwhile messaged the HO to thank her for the review, and to ask if there’s anything we could learn from, that wasn’t covered by the categories. Also left a sincere 5* for her as it was a lovely sit.
She was most apologetic and confirmed it was a clerical error, and TH got back to us really quickly too to confirm it was sorted. It’s worth a polite ask!
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Bruce T…So kind, what a delightful response and invite from you! Thank you, so appreciated and indeed, NC, is on our list for the future. You are the Hosts we love and whom we thought we had, and I guess it’s why I was disappointed with the “not clean and left untidy” comment from this Home Owner. I’m a house-proud fiend and that home was left immaculate… the contradiction was indeed strange as we were highly praised and complimented for everything as we left, especially by the charming ‘lady of the house’.
I’m beginning to think that between us leaving and the gentleman posting a review, some other ‘issue’ turned him sour. It doesn’t make sense especially
as my arrival photos. (we always take so that everything is put back in position before owners return; especially on these longer Sits of 5-6 weeks, I don’t want to leave a rearranged home!).
Thank goodness it was acknowledged that the most important aspect of the appointment, the animals, were well cared for.
Thank you again Bruce T, for taking the time to respond!
Sincerely, R F.
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Dear Sunshine!
So very kind of you to respond and we’re so delighted that you sorted your Review scoring…
I think there was another issue actually unrelated to us that promoted the Host’s response, indeed some time after we left, as it does not make sense at all, especially the general praise given to us on their actual return! What a shame to perhaps react that way.
The home was left pristine, as always, that’s why I’m a tad insulted especially the ‘not clean and untidy’… not with us! 50+ previous 5* reviews can’t be that wrong?
Thank you again for taking time to advise me, much appreciated!
Kind regards,
RF
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Hello Maggie 8K…
Re your comment, thank you. We don’t request reviews so actually no expectation apart from an expectation of an honest review if one is written. The extras we did were advantageous in many ways… stopped massive waste of garden produce, kept me occupied on the 5 week ‘Sit’ doing something I like AND stocked our Host’s larder.
Yes, we are told we usually go beyond "normal’ duties of a Sitter but we clearly promote that in our profile and respond accordingly. When Hosts say, “Treat this place as your home”… we do! This home was left immaculate, that’s our norm., so to be dropped a major star without an ‘honest’ reason, totally stunned us!
If you’re disappointed, that points to an expectation from you vs. accepting what the HO decides to rate, for their own reasons, which you can never control, no matter how much you do or not. That’s why I suggested that if you do X, the “reward” be that itself, rather than any rating. Whether you ask for reviews or not, you clearly have an expectation of a five-star one.
Reality is, you (and I mean a generic “you”) can never please everyone, no matter how hard you try. So best to accept that you’ll run into such people at some point, whether in sits or otherwise in life. That’s why it’s best to focus on internal equilibrium and internal validation.
My POV, I’ll eventually run into these sorts of HOs if I keep sitting. If they decide to ding me on something I don’t think reasonable, I’ll trust that my strong reviews will help put that into perspective for other HOs, ones who are rational and fair. The ones who don’t, I’m better off avoiding anyway.
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Dear MojaveForever… thank you for taking time to respond and please read my reply below to another, ? Sitter.
No, we’re not resentment people , we love the House-sitting lifestyle too much. The Host here made lots of hints, pre their holiday departure, of what we could do “to earn our keep”… we actually assumed he was joking! But when that’s then actually done, making an untrue, invalid comment that affects a Star rating, is unacceptable .
Thank you Lokstar and you’re so right! We’ve just received our 52nd 5* review, (we use THS and another site). A gorgeous ‘Sit’ but once again reaffirming how we leave the pets and the state of their home, our major priorities!
Just a thought on this. Friends of ours do Home Exchange with PLU and said that they always look for one thing to work on/improve when they arrive. With their advice in mind, we extra cleaned a terrace area of a house sit we did where there were a lot of leaves (and bird poo). I told a friend about this who doesn’t do house sits, and she said she wouldn’t like someone doing that -presumably because it points out that the sitter didn’t feel the house wasn’t quite up to scratch!. I haven’t appreciated people rearranging my garden and (once only!) rearranging our clothes cupboard. I didn’t say anything and gave five stars, because it wasn’t a big thing, and we have always had five stars so far, but I think it shows that sensitivities go both ways, although the HO’s could have been franker with you directly, and the leave early remark is bizarre!
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I am sorry to hear that…we are Pet Owners who appreciate coming home to everything that you said you did. I would communicate directly to the homeowner and ask what you could have done differently for a 5-star review. Keep it short and simple and see what they say.
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Might also help communicating before the sit what extras an HS wants to/will do so the HO is forewarned and can express their gratitute or reservations in advance. I’ve been an HS for years but occasionally find other HS for family and had an experience last year where the potential HS (not on THS) proudly told me that they always reorganise the linen cupboards and wash the windows of the houses they stay in. It was a bit of a thanks, no thanks moment for me as it felt intrusive to have someone digging around a linen cupboard in particular and strange (especially as it wasn’t a long sit) and we didn’t proceed.
Also worth considering that by doing extra things that someone hasn’t asked for the HS could really rack up utility costs like water and electricity and some people right now are very sensitive to that. Or adding things into fridges or freezers may take up space the HO was planning to use for something else. I imagine there could be other unintended consequences too even if it was meant as a nice gesture.
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Hello ‘B’ … do appreciate your comments, thank you!
Just confirming, we never interfere, alter, change, assume, even suggest a different way of doing anything, always get approval with pet treats, etc., etc., in a Pet Parent’s home. In this ONE disappointing Host review out of now 53+ by 5* Reviews , we were responding to the hints from the gentleman about “filling in our 5 weeks stay”. For example, the harvesting and filling of a spare freezer and empty basement shelves with their garden produce, was to save incredible waste. They were thrilled on arrival home so … we now realise that there were following adverse factors that affected our Host after we left and maybe, we became the ‘sacrificial lamb’. All good… I realize there are many different characteristics of people in the House-sitting world!
R F
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@Tasmazias we’re in Kent, UK and I’m another HO who says, come and sit for us anytime. We’re not nearly so demanding😊
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Firstly, once we settle down again I’m messaging you to sit for us lol.
Second, we have similar standards and went through something similar last year and really, all you can do is walk away and let it go, it’s not worth the stress of dwelling on it.
In our case, the HO wrote their review and docked a star for tidyness. The reason being because we moved their pots and pans into a different cupboard for cleanliness.
We this because the pot cupboard had a pipe that went outside and so mice would come in there and it was full of traps. When a trap would go off, it would often flop around and so there was blood and poop from the mice on or inside pots/pans and it grossed us both out.
When we left, we shared with them why we moved the pots were still docked a star. It was super frustrating considering their home and yard was cleaner and tidier than when they left, but this one thing bothered them and that’s just the way it is. People like the status quo.
That changes nothing for us other than temporary frustration. We will never compromise our standards of care for the pets or home.
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Gross. How crazy to not mind that stuff getting on pots and pans.
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And that part didn’t bother me that much because we can just move the stuff. What taught us to let go of feedback was that we explained why we moved things and then still got docked a star. It was a good reminder that we all have different sets of standards and so do our best to maintain our own, and then reset things for the HO when they return. I take panorama picture of every room in the house so I can reset, and in the kitchen I take a quick video of everything inside the cupboards.
Finally, we’ve had a number of folks that this is the first time they’ve ever used a sitter so we tend to be more understanding because it’s a big thing to let someone into your home. This sit was first timers and I am pretty sure that if they continue to have sitters that they’d relax a little.
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I avoid first-timers. More power to you for taking them on. I want to see reviews.
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We have an incredibly thorough interview during the application when taking on a first time HO, but yeah, it’s not always perfect.
I figure we had no reviews at one point and so they need them too so I’m willing to spend more time setting expectations on both sides so there’s as little issues as possible for either party.
That said, I totally get your perspective. @Maggie8K
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