We have just started a 2 months housesit for a young tortoise shell cat in Mexico. She is shy but super sweet, and so far we haven’t gotten any tortitude from her ;-). However, there is another cat - she (or he?) apparently showed up a few weeks ago out of nowhere in front of the housedoor and the homeowner started feeding it outside, while trying to locate an owner. It is a beautiful Siamese mix, but with attitude, why she was named Hissy Cat for the time being. Maybe it is not even attitude but plain fear. Obviously we feed Hissy Cat, despite her hissing at me when I come outside with food and water. I have to say, yesterday she meowed a little and forgot to hiss… The homeowners have tried catching her, but with no success. Our inside kitty seems to like the outside kitty. In the evenings they sit both at the window sill, one on the outside one and one on the inside one. Here is my question: any tips and tricks how to build up confidence with that cat? I would love to be able to bring her to the vet, have her checked and if all is good bring her inside.
Ok, I have a bin diver who lived in London. She adopted our daughter even though she was terrified, came indoors, had babies and was still a scaredy cat. Our daughter asked if we’d have her because we live in a rural location. We brought her and 1 baby home 18 months ago. Is she friendly…no. Have I picked her up? No. Yes, she’s been to the vet but it’s a trial, but she’s never bitten, scratched, or hurt us, she’s just scared. Someone’s hurt her badly. She’s decided that she prefers inside to out so just goes out to do her business (goodbye herb garden) and comes back in. She has her bed(s), she’ll allow a stroke (on her terms), but she’s a sweetie. My answer is, I wouldn’t worry too much, she’ll come in when/if she wants to, just feed her and sit outside with her and talk. She may allow you to pet her but she may not. If she’s happy, great.
It is just that she needs to go to the vet before I let her inside. The homeowners, and rightly though, want her checked before she gets close to their cat… Although this is probably “not my business”, but I worry what happens to her on the long run. It is a condo where stray cats are not allowed. The owners stroke a deal with the HOA that this is a special case, but I doubt this can go on forever! I will probably try to just sit with her and do my very famous meow talk - haha!
Hi @Wiebke
I’m a cat daddy that’s had 25 family cats, sat for 48 cats through THS and volunteered for a cat charity in Lanzarote where we’d catch spay/neuter feral cats and see if we could domesticate any.
Could you put food in a cat carrier at the back? Then close the door once the cat starts eating? If this doesn’t work, could you borrow a cat trap from a local shelter? Again put food in the back and set trap.
There are other methods but these 2 would be the quickest way to get the cat into the carrier for a vets trip. Never advise picking a cat up. Many ‘friendly’ cats hate this and will lash out. Good luck.
@Wiebke we fostered a Mr. Hissy Cat. Oh my word. Initially we couldn’t come close, but after intense work and interaction, 9 months later, we had a relatively normal cat. Apart from still hissing when we fed him, it never went away!! And later he loved stroking, but hated being picked up.
So my point is, it took ages to get there and only we, who knew him intimately, saw the minute changes from day to day. Others wouldn’t notice it. Best of luck, our cat shelter also strongly depends on what @richten1 said, a cat trap for stray cats.
I think that cats have strong engrained memories. In my experience it takes long, patient attention at the cat’s own pace to build trust. I personally do not like tricking a cat into a cat carrier, I think it just reinforces the cat’s inherent distrust.
You’re right. Our Ladyloo won’t be tricked into a carrier to go to the vets. I can leave her with her box in the room with her so she’s used to it, but get her in….
absolutely not. And since she’s been living with us, she’s not food orientated either. I do get her in but really by trial and error. It takes ages to shove /encourage her. To the poster, I wouldn’t get her indoors. She’s happy outside, just feed her and try and make friends. Leave it to the homeowners because you might make friends with her, but she might hate the HO’s. And it can be anything from their voices to their smell. Who knows…?
I agree. Unless you’re able to adopt the cat, I would just keep feeding it outside.
Personally I would leave things as they are. I wouldn’t consider spending money at the vets on a stray cat, nor bring it inside someone else’s home. Leave it to the owners to make those decisions and just carry on what you’ve been doing. I think it’s rather sweet that one is on the window sill inside and the other outside.
It’s so kind of you to want to do this.
You can build confidence with a nervous cat just by being around them and talking to them gently. Keep your distance, don’t be too keen, and let the cat decide to come to you.
My friend recently tamed a feral cat by reading books to her! 
How lovely of you to consider Hissy Cat’s health and safety !
First off, depspite your clearly great intentions, I would never bring her inside while the HO’s are away as the potential for things to go sideways is great - cats being cats.
That said, the more time you spend with her outside - letting her come to you, letting her decide when and where to bunt (rub up against you), letting her decide that she has had enough , etc. - the more confident and trusting she will become.
In other words, you just sit still and let her call the shots.
Once she is comfortable, introduce her to treats - place them on the ground away from you and as she becomes more trusting, place them closer and closer to where you sit (sitting still is the best position for you to be in through this process). Over time, you will hopefully be able to entice her to take treats from your hand. This may take a long time - or not if you’re lucky !
When you can touch her, be aware of her reactions - eye dilation, quickly swishing tail, contracted whiskers are all signs that she has had enough. Better to stop before she exhibits any of these . Focus on her cheeks, temple, forehead and chin as these are generally where cats are comfortable being touched/scratched gently. Avoid tummy, tail (especially base), legs and feet.
Main points : Sit still, let HER determine when, where and how much…and treats ! Happy to offer more if (when !) you progress with Hissy Cat .
Oh the homeowners love her! But I am definitely not getting her indoors to the other cat, because who knows whether he/she is healthy. Can’t take the risk for the homeowners’ kitty to pick up a bug or worms or whatever!! And yes, no tricking into a carrier with this one… The homeowners have tried already!
Thanks so much - I did know about the tail language of cats, but never really took notice of the whiskers. Aren’t these animals just miracles!!!
I have been involved in cat rescue for about 9 years, including fostering about 110 cats so far and petsitting many others. I have socialized lots of fearful cats, mostly kittens. Food is the best motivator. Don’t feed them unless you are there while they eat. You want them to associate you with food. Initially, just sit on the ground near the food bowl. Gradually move closer and closer, eventually putting your fingers on the edge of the bowl. if you can get them to eat from your hands, great.
You still may not get close enough to be able to handle the cat, but if you do, grabbing the cat by the scruff of the neck will actually relax it. That is how mother cats carry their babies and works on adult cats also. If (and it is a big IF) you can do that, be sure to have the carrier ready with the door open. If the carrier doesn’t have a top entry, turn the carrier on end so that the door is on top and drop the cat in.
You might need to use a trap to catch the cat. I’ve done this a lot also. Line the bottom of the trap with newspaper or thin cardboard (I use a cereal box). Start feeding the cat in an unset trap first, so it gets used to going into the trap. Sometimes turning the trap upside down ensures that the door stays open. On the day that you want to trap, use smelly food like sardines. Don’t feed the cat the day before, so it is hungry enough to go into the trap. Once you trap it. use zip ties or something else to keep the door closed. Cats have a way of escaping traps, especially the cheaper traps (ask me how I know 
)
I’m happy to give mroe suggestions if you like.
Unless the home owners specifically ask you to try and catch her…and even then…we would be hesitant. We are long-time cat owners, lovers and sitters. There are too many unknowns, especially with it being a feral (for now at least, since you have no idea their background). IF the home owners truly want to adopt the cat and move it indoors, etc…let them handle it. You are putting yourself in a tricky (and potentially risky situation).
Thank you! You sound amazing. Wow, fostering 110 cats and counting! Yes, I know how to grab a cat by the scruff, and actually, whenever I am on a cat sit, while we play, I grab them from time to time, just to make sure they are used to it in case I need it. Which luckily in over 60 housesits was only once…
Oh @Pips this is adorable 
Isn’t it?! I believe that she got the tip from Jackson Galaxy.
She’s poured so much time, effort and love into that little cat. The wee thing is so lucky to have ended up with her. 
Thanks. This is my current foster. Sadly, between her and her 2 brothers (who didnt survive), I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know about cats and seizures, including about FIP, toxoplasmosis, coccidia, etc😢. Fostering is usually rewarding, but can also be heartbreaking.
Oh bless you for being there for her when she needs you most!