Agreed.
The term I’ve used is “invite” or “confirm”, and when I actually pay someone to walk my dog I use “hire” or “book”.
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I was glad to read that someone else had this experience. Our recent sitters were very nice and left the house beautifully clean and the dog well cared-for after our one week away, so I gave them an excellent review. However, we always leave shower gel, soap, shampoo etc in the guest room to use or ignore, but my reserve stack of Molton Brown miniature shower gels (in a separate bathroom) have ALL been opened and used, leaving me with 6 half-used (or more) bottles. So I now have to replace these so that the next person staying has a full bottle, not left-overs. Another larger bottle we provided has also been emptied. Not only that but how can 2 people use a king size bed, two single beds (in another bedroom) and 8 bath towels in one week? I was ironing for three and a half hours … I know it’s nit-picky but we feel they really took advantage and wonder if they had someone else to stay.
Am a bit torn here @dozymoesy - you say you left them shower toiletries and they used the whole bottle. If you left it to use, then that’s sort of their prerogative. Don’t agree with going in someone else’s bathroom but mini toiletries of any kind (Molton Brown or otherwise) could be mistaken for free hotel giveaways so they may have not given it much thought, albeit intrusive. Bedding and towels, did you ask them to wash it all or not use too many? Maybe they’re clean freaks or thought you were easy with it all? It comes down to comms and expectations on both sides. If your home was super clean and the pets wonderfully well cared for, it seems annoying behaviour rather than downright disrespectful would be my thoughts.
It seems wasteful and ecologically unfriendly to open a bunch of bottles and leave them partly used. I wouldn’t do that even in a hotel, much less someone else’s home.
During one sit, I ended up staying in two guest rooms, because the HOs’ practice was to leave a door ajar for their dogs to run in and out to the yard (no dog door) and my first room ended up with mosquitoes, which love me, unfortunately. But I washed all the linens and remade the beds in both rooms.
In future, you might include in your welcome guide whether you want bedding and towels washed.
In my current sit, a one-bedroom, the HO left me a freshly made bed and towels, which I plan to wash. And I’ll remake the bed for the HO. I do that sort of thing without being asked, but not every sitter will.
I don’t iron linens, though. I don’t know whether some folks do that, because some line-dried linens can be stiff and wrinkly. In the U.S. and U.K. sits I’ve done, they’ve typically had dryers, so you can get linens reasonably unwrinkly if you take them out quickly. Some even have a wrinkle-preventing setting.
If I knew that a HO wanted ironing done, I’d avoid the sit.
I ALWAYS bring my own toiletries and buy my own food. I never assume that what is theirs is mine. If they specifically say, hey feel free to eat any of the stuff in the refrigerator, I may eat the fruit or veggies or anything that may go bad, but never dig into the freezer or anything else that I consider off limits. The house is a free vacation stay and I am grateful for that alone.
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It’s your home so you have the right to choose what cleaning supplies you allow in your home. Make sure to have plenty on hand and write it up in the guide in a tactful but clear way. For example: “We prefer not to use harsh, chemical cleaners in our house. We use ___ mixed with water for our floors, and a little ______ on a damp cloth for the countertops.” You can also make this part of a discussion on video. If someone cleans differently than you do and insists on using certain products to be comfortable, maybe that’s not a good match. Sitters shouldn’t be taking toiletries with them unless you leave them a gift basket that is clearly for them to take. If this is an issue, leave out enough toiletries for them to use during the stay but not too much excess. They shouldn’t be going through your stuff to search for more for the road.
I can understand a specific request if you left someone a platter previously on the first visit, but for new sitters, you can ask what they eat (or drink) and leave them something. For instance, our last sitter was gluten intolerant, so I specifically left some gluten free pasta, and gluten free mini-coffee cakes. You can also leave specific instructions re other food in the house. Generally most hosts will say please use spices, oil, and what you need to round out a meal. Some hosts will go further inviting sitters, to grab a meal or two from their cupboard.
I think if we are going to get into language issues like “using sitters” as opposed to say “inviting sitters” lots of people will have an opinion. I got shot down in a forum for suggestiong the roles be: hosts and guests versus homeowners and housesitters. My opinion would be that ALL members need to go through some kind of orientation when they sign up or at this point for everyone – not unusual even for unpaid/volunteer positions. I do think there is an issue. It’s not one I’ve seen with sitters I’ve invited or in homes I’ve been invited to as a sitter, but it seems to crop up all the time in complaints on forums with people having very different ideas of the roles and the exchange.
Having done house/petsitting before for friends and family, I basically follow the same rules when doing this on THS. I try to be a good guest and take my cues about parameters from the host. As a host, I try to model myself on good hosts by doing a deep cleaning before and having supplies, information, and clear guidelines.
THS accepts as members anyone with the money to join. They offer few guidelines or requirements. So we are all muddling through. We need to be kind to one another.
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I would think any HO who does not provide basic toiletries is cheap and anyone upset with the toiletries being used as a major red flag and not worth sitting for.
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Yes I agree they are within their rights to use anything we left out for them, the issue really is using stuff that was not - particularly trying every different scent out. Re the bedlinen, they used three beds in two bedrooms, and three bathrooms. All left clean and tidy, but I personally would only use the bedroom/en suite I had been shown. Small gripe in the overall scheme of things and if they had someone else to stay, they should have asked us first.
I don’t feel that HOs should provide toiletries for me to use. I bring my own when I travel, whether it is house-sitting or any other travel. It is easy to get travel sized toiletries to meet requirements for flying. I would be using soap, shampoo, toothpaste, etc at home, so why should the HO provide it?
Having said that, I provide basic toiletries for my sitters. I have a big bottle of body wash, basic shampoo, and travel toothpaste. It may not be the sitter’s preferred brand of shampoo, etc, but they get something. I would be annoyed if they decided to raid my bathroom drawers to find my own toiletries.
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I think it’s fine if you prefer to pack and use your own preferred toiletries, but I think homeowners are in the role of hosting travelers. That’s also a responsibility. So I disagree with you there. I think HOs should provide what you already do – basic toiletries. It’s what makes the exchange equal. Just as you’d find them in an airbnb or hotel, but maybe a little beyond – bandaids, toothpaste, an extra brush, floss, aspirin, etc. And like you, I agree that perusing through stuff that wasn’t left for them and taking it, is just rude.
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Yes to all you’ve written here @Marion, and especially your last two sentences.
Yes to all you’ve written here @Marion , especially your last two sentences.
I am an international sitter and I do appreciate basic toiletries (I bring only small ones)
I always love if hosts provide basic toiletries & many do- e g large bottles of shower gel & shampoo and hand soaps at all the wash basins. Why not? Its helpful.
I would not raid their personal stuff from closed cupboards but whatever is left out I might use. Especially when 'on the road- with small supplies I make the most of what’s offered!
I’ve experienced a variety of HOs. The most generous had en suite guest rooms with many large bottles of shampoo, various soaps, plenty of toilet tissue (loo rolls), lotions and such. They clearly hosted people regularly and got hospitality down.
My guests always find full pump dispensers of soap, body wash, shampoo and plenty of toilet tissue. I switched to refillable dispensers like many hotels, to avoid creating unnecessary waste.
When I sit, I bring or buy my own toiletries. I don’t usually check baggage, so I’ll get full-size shampoo on arrival and leave bottles behind after my sit if I’m flying right away. In various locations, I order shampoo, toilet paper, paper towels and such with my groceries, because many services will deliver nowadays. I don’t do rural sits, so that’s not an issue.
If you’re in the U.S., a store like Target usually will have everything from groceries to toiletries. (DoorDash delivers for Target, for instance.) In the U.K., I like Marks & Spencer. I get loads of nice toiletries from them, even to take home.
To the OP:
If the pet sitters were not good, why did you “use” them three times?
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You are my kind of host. 
Or remove the toiletries from the bathroom and indicate to the sitter that they’ll need to bring their own. I’m a sitter and I literally can’t imagine using other people’s products or eating their food unless they clearly told me that was part of the stay.