@CarolT, as a sitter like most orhers have said i would have been delighted by your response; its very thoughtfull & personal.
Theres could be many reasons that a HO choses another sitter, my personal reaction is that it would suit the chosen sitter more.
We actually had a similar one earlier this year where the HO chose a sitter with more experience in their animals, it was farm animals. Because the HO responded positively we were absolutely fine with this, later on down the line the chosen sitter had to cancel dye to unforeseen curcumstance & the Ho asked if we were still interested, so we did the sit.
Im a big believer in universal energy & if somethings right for all parties it works irself out. Hopefully their reply has warned you off them. for future sits!
Sorry you had to deal with that when you actually being very thoughtful.
I had a similar response after I told a man he had been unsuccessful. He got quite defensive and said it was because he had children and I should say if I donât want children. I have actually ticked the box âNo Childrenâ so he shouldnât have applied anyway. I have unticked the box and now say in my blurb, accept children over age 10, at least then they can see what my limits are. It actually wasnât the children that made me reject him but just post covid and a long distance he was travelling.
It was really sweet that you offered, but I would feel uneasy sitting for someone that had turned me down. I donât want to feel like someones back-up-plan, I want to feel like their No1 choice, like it was meant to be, like we were the most mutual and natural fit for one another⌠and you told them they werenât (albeit in a nice way). But that said thereâs no need for them to be disrespectful, no need for it at all. Itâs nice to be nice.
If there was a decent reason for an HO picking someone else Iâd understand getting turned down, such as if an HO had had a previous sitter apply, then Iâd totally understand that they are most definitely more suitable than any other sitters if you had a great experience. But if not, Iâm afraid your sit wouldnât feel quite as attractive as it did beforehand, but not in a nasty horrible negative way (like the response you got), just in a deflated and lacklustre sort of way.
But I wouldnât be impolite about it. Iâd just give a nice & sweet message back, as I would still have appreciated the really kind thought and gesture. Thereâs no reason for anyone to be disrespectful. You chose the right sitter for you, and you tried to do a really sweet thing at the same time. You donât want nor need anyone outwardly nasty looking after your loved pet, so you are lucky you found out about their true characters now.
Personally, I wouldnât ask anyone to be your second choice, especially sitters who are giving their time & energy for free. I would just say that you would love to keep them in mind for the future, but not in a way that expects a response of them to say yes at that moment in time, when youâve just knocked them back.
Hmm. Some people in this community clearly treat animals way better than they treat their fellow humans or they communicate with them better anyway⌠I really donât understand if someone gets that offended about not getting a pet sit.
I donât mind if someone doesnât choose me. It is their choice who they feel most comfortable with and thatâs highly personal. I am the best sitter for one person but not the other, and vice versa too. I have myself spoken with pet owners and didnât click or didnât feel good about the sit any more, and didnât proceed. We are not here to stroke egos. We are here to find and provide loving care for pets, and have a good time in the process!
Totally agree, some very sensitive souls here. You donât get a sit, just move on, weâve all been turned down for sits .
I hear you and understand your feelings. You have every right to do what is right for you. But hereâs a HO perspective: This isnât personal. Iâm in a competitive area. I get lots of applications. Often the final choice is more about logistics than anything else. Maybe thereâs a great sitter, but they canât get to my house till evening and Iâm leaving in the morning, and it wouldnât be terrible but another sitter who also sounds great can pick up the keys two days before and be there by early afternoon. Maybe itâs a choice between the person thatâs flying in around the holidays, versus the person whoâs taking the 2 hour bus ride. Itâs not about someone being âsecond choice.â Itâs more about there being someone who the HO thinks would work better for that particular sit. Sometimes itâs a coin toss. If the HO says we would love for you to apply again, believe them!
I have a lady who has âinvitedâ me 4 times now but each time chooses someone else. Last time when she said she would consider me again next time I said I doubted if I would bother to apply again as per Einsteinâs definition of madness 
To be honest, in that case I could imagine feeling a little offended! But I think it probably says more about her than it does about you.
I had a similar experience with one couple I declined. I also wrote each applicant and thanked them but received one very rude and hostile response. I reported it, but they technically didnât break any rules. I consider myself lucky to have not chosen them and would never use them in the future.
Itâs nice that you provided a response. Had I received your message, I probably would have thought what they wrote, I just wouldnât have written it to you.
Wow, just Wow.
So sorry you had Sitters respond like this.
Thank you for replying to each of the, Iâd love if sitters responded, a few simple words is all thatâs required.
I always respond even if I get a blanket invite (which sadly happens far too much these days with no message, just an invite)
I hope your sitters are wonderful and if so they might like to come back next year?
If I really like the look of the sit, however the HO has other sitters for what ever reasons, I always respond with please do keep us in mind in the future. I have had quite a few send to me and ask if we are available to sit for them, sometimes the dates work out sometimes they donât, however we lol and keep checking in with each other and go with the âone dayâ
Wishing you all the best.