Hi. Was reading a thread about whether it was OK for sitters to help themselves to a homeowner’s alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, and I was a bit surprised by the voracity of the NOs. This also seems to be the case with food. I’m not much of a drinker, but as a host (just in life) to my own guests, I never hold back on sharing what i have. Aren’t sitters in that category (guests)? They are staying in one’s home and taking care of that person’s pets. Wouldn’t it be normal to expect them to have the food and drink (with exceptions, of course) in the home? Certainly, at an AirBnB, I replace what I eat and/or leave similar (if flying), but house/pet sitting seems different to me.
Pet Sitters, (I am one), should be wholly self sufficient.
I only expect to use salt, pepper, cooking oils, and perhaps milk and bread, butter provided on arrival. Everything else I bring with me, or buy locally on day one.
I’ve had many hosts offer to shop before I arrive or offer gift cards or offer their existing food. Despite that, I expect to provide my own and rarely eat theirs.
If they leave existing food, I’ll toss what would spoil or put whatever is freezable in the freezer for them to use or toss later. I let them know if so.
I prefer to eat whatever I like, depending on mood, so buying my own works best. Likewise with booze.
If a host wants to be generous, a gift card is ideal, because then sitters can get their preferences. Food is so subjective to tastes, diets, allergies, other health and religious preferences that it’s random to try to help feed a stranger.
Even when hosts offer a welcome meal, they should check. Likewise with sitters who want to leave food for hosts on their return. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time and expense.
Hosts sometimes offer to “help yourself to whatever you need”, but we still try to keep consumption of their food to a minimum, kind of reserved for emergencies. And if we end up using something, we replace it.
Even with things that are about to expire and are specifically offered to be “finished”. If we end up using that food, we try to replace it with the exact product or a product of same category/value.
You never know what their expectations are when it comes to their offer, so we like to keep things separated and clear, communicating what we use and replace.
As hosts we tell the sitters they can use things from the pantry (such as canned goods) and fridge (such as condiments). We do ask the sitter to replace what they use so that we don’t come home to an empty pantry. There are things we don’t expect to be replaced such as basic staples, cleaning products, soap for the washer and the dishwasher, etc. We also provide paper towels, toilet paper and tissues for the duration of the sit as well as coffee beans (Costa Rican coffee) for the automatic coffee maker because there are some types of beans (black) that the manufacturer doesn’t recommend.
No, this is an exchange not a normal Aunt Sally is coming to stay for a visit. Frankly even Aunt Sally wouldn’t saunter in and raid the fridge.
We have a welcome dinner the first night and leave some basics but we have neither the time nor the desire to sort through everyone’s dietary restrictions and preferences. We leave a clean and empty fridge instead, an empty shelf in the cupboard for their pantry items, and space in the freezer for ice cream or frozen meals.
We leave guidance that they are welcome to small amounts of anything (like flour to thicken a sauce, for example) but if they use a lot of something or the last of something to please replace it.
I have not been to an airbnb that provides food nor would I want to rent one that did. We want an empty clean fridge so we can buy what we like.
And there in lies the conundrum. Who decides/communicates the exceptions?
Experienced mature sitters know what is ok and what isn’t ok and most will replace what they use. Unfortunately there is a certain segment of the sitter community who feels entitled to push the boundaries somewhat and reddit is littered with horror stories when this happens. Most of our hosts have said “help yourself” this has included, wine, scotch and gin collections but it’s not something we are comfortable with.
We would only consume and not replace what is expressly offered as a gift.
If we consume anything, we replace it, apart from things like condiments already mentioned.
I think i once posted about drinking some beer at a sit, which was a very generic brand, but on going to replace couldn’t find the same size bottles in any local shops. Must’ve visited about 10 supermarkets trying to find the right size and it was such a faff, it really put me off ever doing that again!
I never drink their achohol unless it was a bottle of wine left for me.i would use up food that’s going to go out of date while host is away. I don’t use things that will be in date for them coming back.
This is hotly debated subject but as a sitter I go to a sit expecting nothing apart from that the host says it’s ok to use oil, salt and pepper.
I did a sit when I started a few years ago on THS which was a blind hand over but the HO had put post it notes saying ‘do not touch’ on everything food wise in the kitchen including cooking oil, salt and pepper! I also sit for 2 HO’s regularly that get food in for me. In fact one of the HO’s got upset after coming back and finding out I hadn’t touched any of her rather nice food like prime steaks, prawns or lobster in the freezer. Now her lovely cleaner takes me grocery shopping at their expense. I told her off as I said there was no need for such but she insists.
I now always check what I can use or not use from the kitchen even the if just the basics for cooking.
Wow on the HO with the notes. I hope your write about this in your reviews. That’s just nasty. Lovely about the other HO. I guess everyone is just being human, with all the variations possible.
Pet Sitter here. I have been fortunate in my 6 sits that the HO talks about food/liquor available to me. I had one HO tell me to help myself to anything alcohol or food-wise and I believe they were sincere, but I replaced the one bottle of wine we drank. They have all offered use of the veg/fruit that might spoil before they get back. I’m with those who have said, spices, coffee, tea and then you’re on your own. I do replace most of the veg/fruit that I ate with fresh produce.
Over the years we have developed a good feel for what we will/will not consume. If perishable food stuff is offered to use up or toss we do not feel the need to replace it (except perhaps milk if HO Returns late) If pantry stuff is offered we use minimally what we need or if its a new product we want to try! We would replace anything we finish up or use too much off. Tbh we find an awful lot of fridge & pantry stuff really out of date, which is not tempting at all! Before HOs return we usually ask if there is anything they’d like is to buy in for them. Usually they don’t want anything. With alcohol we enjoy what’s offered, or left as a gift, and might use (and replace) what’s not offered, but openly there. In our current sit there are fridges of alcohol in several places but the only alcohol they politely asked us not to touch is their $10,000 cabineted collection of special whiskeys!!!
Funny how we all feel differently. To me, it’s just the opposite. At an airBnB, I am paying for a service, if they provide oil or leave a bottle of wine or some biscuits as a welcome present, I don’t replace it. They just restock, just as they clean everything up and put more toilet paper and freshly washed linen.
This is about fair exchanges and everyone has their own standards as to what feels fair, that’s why it is so important to filter sit and sitters so that everyone find good matches. But, to be honest, if I felt the way you do, I wouldn’t know how to phrase it without coming across as entitled.
