When sitters arrive, I tell them to totally ignore the cats while we’re talking and showing them around, so that the cats can approach whenever they feel comfortable, which for one of the cats is usually two days. About half of these recent sitters, immediately after I say this, literally crawl on their hands and knees going after the cats in their hiding places (under the bed, etc) while making meowing noises.
The worst sitter told me on a video call before confirming the sit that he is very calm, and always lets cats come to him whenever they’re ready, so I really have no idea how to screen for this in advance.
These sitters also didn’t follow other instructions during the sit. For short sits, I just deal with it. But I just posted a two-month sit, and I’m worried about having a sitter who doesn’t follow instructions here for such a long time.
If I get a sitter for this long sit, would it be appropriate to simply cancel immediately upon seeing this behavior? Is there another solution? I really couldn’t be any clearer and we were all native English speakers.
BE VERY EXPLICITE IN YOUR PROFILE WITH CAPITAL LETTERS THAT THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR YOU, INCLUDING THE BAD EXPERIENCES. Do it somewhere on the bottom of the text.
And when there is nothing mentioned in the application, reject the application and go to the next one.
No it isn’t appropriate to leave anyone suddenly without accommodation on the same day for 2 months, when they will think they are doing the right thing… they’d need a 2 month hotel bill!
Simply clearly explain what you want upfront, and remind it of them before they arrive so they are totally clear that they need to leave them totally alone, and put it in your profile too. When they arrive you can always remind them again, and after they arrive you can explain what other sitters have done in the past, so they totally ‘get’ it.
During your video chats, ask open-ended Qs, like: Would you please let me know how you start a cat sit, when it comes to getting to know them. … Then let them talk without your input, so you can gauge whether they’d be a fit for your cats.
Personally, I’d tell you how I come in quietly, don’t make jarring or abrupt noises when bringing in my luggage or unpacking, but I start talking to the cats, saying their name and letting them know that I’m around, getting them comfortable with my presence. Then I sit my butt down and start on my laptop or tablet, staying chill and letting them come to me when they’re ready. They often come out then, because they’re curious, or when meal time rolls around. And they usually warm to me quickly, because I’m a couch potato who’s predictable, without startling moves or noisiness. I never chase them or pursue them, because that would be stupid, to scare them off or annoy them.
So say you let them tell you X. Then you can follow up with other Qs if you have them.
For my part, I ask them to describe their cats’ personalities and preferences to me. That’s because cats often are quirkier or more skittish than dogs. And I know that, because I pay lots of attention to pet personalities, which hosts often value.
From my perspective, you shouldn’t leave your pets or home with anyone you have serious misgivings about, whether it’s last minute or not. Sooner the better, of course.
I think these pet sitters are trying to impress and think they have to show rapport or at least keenness to connect with your pets. Having always owned aloof cats I’ve always thought they’ll come to me when they are ready. But it could be misconstrued that I’m not invested in the pet .
I would explain to future sitters just like you have done here so they are warned you have had sitters disregard your instructions.
You are only thinking about your cats and not the sitter. Canceling the same day for a two month sit is horrible. I would sue you and I have an attorney family so would cost me nothing. I would win! You would be paying for my plane, hotel for two months. How hard is it when you see this to say to them, “I really appreciate you trying to win Socks over but I would like her to approach you first. Thank you for caring and wanting to connect. The sitters are coming from a place of caring but you are not.
As an HO, if a sitter suddenly got down on all fours and started mewling, I’d remind them “hey, so this is why I said X about ignoring the cats during the walk-through. They aren’t going to come out and greet you right now. Ignoring them at the beginning is actually your best hope for them warming up to you in their own time.”
In terms of screening for this in advance, I’d actually bring up in the pre-confirmation chat that you’ve had less than awesome experiences in the past and reiterate just how important it is to start the sit with [insert behavior]
It’s a hard one to know what to do if a sitter ignores this and continues to try to buddy up right away. I’ve never had a sitter through THS do this, and I can’t imagine canceling on the spot even if it would make me very uneasy about their abilities. I did have a friend who took care of my incredibly aloof cat many many years ago and did things like jump around and try to her her out from under the bed with a broom. Everybody lived - but the cat would run and hide every time she heard his voice from that point forward!!
As the Host yes certainly you can request how your cats are cared for (Welcome Guide instructions) can you completely control the sitter at all times then NO. A sitter isn’t an employee, they’re a guest who’s doing you a favour so that your cats survive you being away for 2 mths. Hopefully they do even more and your cats are happy.
If you want an employer/staff relationship you’ll need to pay for this using local cat sitting services.
Not all Sitters are equal, a few might think that they’re ’Cat whispering experts’ & know better than you (& they might of course!). What’s the worst that can happen, the cats might be even more stand offish for a bit longer? Most sitters will simply follow reasonable instructions but don’t try to micro manage the situation. Once your cats know the hand that’s going to feed them they’ll come around
I know this is a little off topic. But I would never even consider applying to a sit that has anything in all caps. That’s the equivalent of yelling. I would not encourage that approach since it will be off-putting to many good sitters.
I find this to be very odd behavior, but you are saying it’s common? How many sitters did this?
I would recommend looking for a sitter who is very experienced specifically with cats. Personally, I’ve done over 75 cats sits (well over 100 cats) and I always let them come to me. For some, that might happen immediately, for others it might be the next day. The cats decide when they are ready to interact with me.
Of course, it also could be that sitters have read things in forums or on facebook, etc where HOs complain that the sitter didn’t immediately start interacting with the pet. Sitters are actually in a difficult position since we are dealing with new pets and with people we don’t know. I don’t think cancelling based on what happens in the first five minutes is warranted.
What other instructions were not followed? Look for experienced sitters and maybe ask if they have experience with cats that are slower to warm up to new people.
@systaran Yes, i totally understand your vision on using caps. In general I agree with you. At the same time when the host would give context - as I suggested - I would be more understandable why they would have written it like this.
in this situation, with this context, i would be more flexible and in my application mention the situation. Because their request is fair, apparently many sitters don’t read the profile and it is for the well being of the pets.
I sat for a host once in a rural area that had lots of stray cats that they fed but instructed sitters not to give them food near the house or pay attention to them because it caused more problems and they were very frustrated because they said many sitters disregarded their advice and when they got back the behavior of the cats was noticeably changed for the worse.
I feel rather sorry for your sitters who wrong-headedly tried to approach the cats. They - the sitters - were probably just trying to show willing.
If I were in your shoes and a sitter actively tried to approach the cat, instead of just ignoring him (other sexes are available) I’d just say something like “Oh, he’s a bit shy. I suggest you ignore him completely for a bit and he’ll warm to you. Actually, my experience is that that works with pretty much all cats, when you first meet them…” - and then get on with the rest of the intro/your day.
I just don’t see how this particular issue is one that can’t be resolved on the spot, with clear, polite and brief communication. But you’d want to cancel the sit…?
As for the other issues, you don’t tell us what they’ve been, so .. At a loss.
My 2 cats are very shy. Some sitters are able to coax them out for playtime, other sitters only see them at mealtimes.
What I do, in addition to being clear in my welcome guide that they are shy and do not like being picked up, is re-state this when they are first meeting. Before I walk the sitters to the cats hiding spots, I talk about there background (rescues who don’t trust humans) how long it took for us to earn their trust (3+ months), and that they are very shy and may choose to not interact with sitters (I tell them that’s fine, just bring a treat up to them each day, speak to them in a soft voice, and let them only if they approach first). After that I grab a bag of treats and walk the sitter over to where the cats are hiding, open the bag of treats and hope the present themselves (my girl will always come of hiding for treats, my boy won’t). I let the sitter toss them some treats, and we quietly leave the room.
So yes, you can cancel a sitter who is too aggressive with handling the cats right away, but it really shouldn’t come to that if you make ‘proper’ introductions, I think, instead of just opening the door and saying here is the cat.
Even with your needs/requests that would be very, very disrespectful to a sitter esp one who has spent alot of time & money to get to your home. Since you’re a sitter, too, put that shoe on your foot for a try…
When you “interview” ( I know, I know…) potential sitters be VERY clear about your requirements and ask potentials to repeat them back to you in a calm, clear and respectful way. Further, ask them how they approach unfamiliar cats, what they do in, “x,” situation (e.g. when cats hide for an extended period of time, when cats don’t want to interact as the sit goes on, create scenarios reflective of what your cats do and ask the potential how they would respond, etc.), ask about their ability to read basic cat behaviour signs (ask for and give examples), etc.
Since it would be rude for you to follow through on your idea, the best you can do is ask a zillion cat-behaviour and experience-related questions prior to chosing a sitter.
.
