Challenges Finding House Sittings as a Couple – Seeking Insights and Awareness

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
1

Greetings everyone :blush:

My husband and I have been members of Trusted House Sitters since 2022 and have had some wonderful experiences during our sittings. However, we’ve found it increasingly difficult to secure new house sits, especially since we’ve been in Canada, and we’re trying to understand why this might be.

We wonder if being a couple is a factor that deters homeowners. Additionally, we can’t help but notice that our declined applications often seem to go to single white women or white couples. While we hope this isn’t a racial issue, it’s hard to ignore the patterns we’ve observed. As a Black man and a Hispanic Canadian woman, we worry that unconscious biases may be at play.

Another challenge is that many homeowners prefer sitters with numerous reviews. But without opportunities to sit, it’s tough for us to build up our review count. We’re dedicated sitters, and all we need is a chance to prove ourselves. We’re also looking for longer sits as we’re here to commit and continue running our own businesses during our stays.

We’re reaching out to the community for insights and advice. Has anyone else faced similar challenges? How did you overcome them? We believe in the spirit of open-mindedness and inclusivity and hope to find ways to continue doing what we love.

Thank you for reading and for any advice you can offer.

Warm regards,
Bobby and Busta

3 Likes
2

@Bobsta
Hello to you both, welcome to the forum.
I can only comment about your neumerous reviews comment, I live in the UK.
I’ve had a few house holders say they don’t like folk with loads and loads of reviews and prefer to pick people who just sit occasionally.

3

We’re a mixed race couple, Brit-Turk combo. Our experience is that it’s not an issue in open minded, multi cultural countries (19 of them) when we sit for ex pats and other mixed race couples. We avoid single female HOs as they don’t seem to want us. (Irritating when they could just write that in the listing). We do have lots of reviews so that must help and our own site as added creds. Is it only the USA and Canada that you sit @Bobsta ? #theresasitforeveryone

2 Likes
4

Greetings @Bobsta

Thank you very much for posting this…I am sure this will become a popular thread, for good reasons and since you mentioned racial issues, perhaps not so good. However, here is what I can add;

I am a younger white single male in America. I have been declined for being too “young,” for being without a partner (meaning a husband/wife team, one lady thought one person can’t handle her sit yet she was 79 and single), for being single…AND for being a male! I have seen multiple listings that want couples only, women only, “mature” people only and etc. I have also been declined for sits where it is obvious the home owners are not white as well when all else seemed to look positive.

What I have never witnessed on this site nor got the impression has been about race. In no listing have I ever come across where a HO was looking for someone (or a couple or family) of a specific race or heritage. Does it happen silently? Perhaps, but that isn’t unique to THS either, that is just the world we live in today.

Please don’t spend your time, energy or sanity worrying about unconscious biases that people may or may not have. You can’t control that. You and your wife seem too good for that. What you and your wife can control is how well you come across in words and in pictures. Based on how you write, you seem well educated, open thinking/minded and very genuine. Reading between the lines if something that comes with experience.

However, to your second issue about reviews, that might be easier to accomplish than worrying about what people may or may not be thinking. To boost up your reviews, start local and branch out from there. Do some sits that are convenient or not a hinder for you and your wife. My first sit was local (70 miles), I wanted to remain local just to make sure if anything went wrong I can head back home quick. Although that particular couple found me, the first sit I applied to, 1,400 miles away, they accepted me because the first review was very well written. The bonus, those owners are people I remain in contact with outside of THS and dog sitting, they have become friends.

I also think the HO reviews of you can help. A nice detailed review of how well you and your wife were speak higher than a review that is two sentences, regardless of the 5 stars. I was lucky to get started with a great and well detailed first review right on my profile.

Many other members are smarter than I am and many other forums discuss how to get a larger amount of great reviews. Use this forum as a resource.

Thank you for posting this, if possible please keep us updated on this forum!!!

11 Likes
5

@Bobsta

If possible, post your listing so some of the more experienced HO/sitters can potentially assist and make it more appealing, if needed. Also note, I am only a sitter, not a HO on this site.

3 Likes
6

@Cuttlefish

Interesting you have spotted a trend of single female HO! Experience is one of the best assets!

1 Like
7

If you would kindly attach your profile, I am sure that lots of people can give you some thoughtful advice.

Are you saying that you are trying to run a business in a particular area of Canada, so you need Sits only in that area?

I would look for last minute Sits with Owners who seem like they will provide well-written reviews. Build up your experience and your reviews.

5 Likes
8

Hello
I can’t speak to the race issues as my husband and I are both white. But as for the couple aspect, we have been sitting for a decade, and we have an extremely high acceptance rate. This isn’t to brag, but to suggest that being a couple has not seemed to be a problem at all for us, so I don’t think it will be for you either.

You are right that fewer or no reviews can work against people initially, but every sitter at one time had no reviews. So while it may take more applications to get accepted compared to someone who has a lot of experience, just keep at it.

Also, not all people value experience and lots of reviews above all else. They may be drawn to people for a number of reasons, and intuitively feel like they would be the best sitter even if they aren’t the most experienced.

I remember having a conversation once with a host whom we sat for very frequently over a number of years and she said she liked to give new sitters a try. She traveled very frequently for work and used the service a lot. I recall one host choosing us because she said I had kind eyes–she was a very spiritual type person. At this point we had been sitting for a bit, and did have some reviews, but that clearly had nothing to do with her decision.

Every so often I will browse through profiles on the site just to see what other sitters are up to, what type of stuff they post in their profile, etc… and I have seen plenty of ‘non-white’ people with loads of reviews.

I see a lot of sitters on the forum speculating about why they aren’t chosen for sits, and I think it is natural for the mind to come up with some sort of story; if a sitter believes there is an aspect of themselves that would possibly make them less attractive to hosts, it is easy for the mind to jump in and assume it must be because of that quality, whether it be their age, race, gender, relationship status,etc…

Now it is quite possible that sometimes a sitter may be correct in their assumptions, but ultimately, short of asking a host directly why they weren’t chosen, they can never know for sure.

And just because some people have based their decision on this criteria doesn’t mean that everyone is like that and will do the same.

I know it can be discouraging at first, but I assure you that if you keep at it, you will start booking sits and it will just get easier and easier.

9 Likes
9

@KC1102
Great words.

2 Likes
10

And with that, everything is said :heart:[quote=“TravelMan, post:4, topic:53652”]
Please don’t spend your time, energy or sanity worrying about unconscious biases that people may or may not have. You can’t control that. You and your wife seem too good for that. What you and your wife can control is how well you come across in words and in pictures.
[/quote]

5 Likes
11

Hi @Bobsta

I meant to write “your husband” wherever I wrote your wife instead! My apology…at least I consistently mis-typed!

12

Funnily enough, someone posted on Reddit recently that they were having trouble getting sits because they thought being single was the issue! Commented that all the sits they were interested in only wanted couples.

So what I am saying is, I very much doubt there is any bias or racial discrimination at all, it just happens sometimes that the sits we are actually looking at are the ones that require either a single or a couple with no intent meant. I look at many I like but have to move on because they want a couple and I guess many couples move on because the HO is looking for a single. It’s the luck of the draw as to when and what we are looking at.

I really REALLY hate that this race thing has to come into this discussion. I believe the Forum and Trusted Housesitters are way beyond better than that and shouldn’t come into the equation.

6 Likes
13

My mantra is, there’s a sitter for every sit and a sit for every sitter. Filter sits based on your requirements and strengths. Dont waste your time and energy applying to sits that dont meet those. Make sure your profile and applications highlight what you bring to the exchange ie. Benefits for the homeowner. And as others have said, post your profile and you’ll get many insights from the many experienced members here.

2 Likes
14

Welcome to the forum. When you are someone who has been discriminated against, of course you are going to wonder. How much it happens on THS is not something anyone will know. But who choses you is definitely something that is out of your control. When we get rejected, no need to look back at the sits you didn’t get. Don’t subject yourself to doubt. Increase your odds in all of the ways that may help. Then do a really great job so you get good reviews. The more reviews, the easier it gets.

Like many on THS, I’ve lived in many places and I travel a lot. To me, cities offer more sits and have the most diversity. If you can secure one sit in a city, maybe a last minute sit where you’ll have a higher chance to be accepted. Then apply for more there. Let the hosts know that when you apply that you’ll be close by. This will help because some hosts worry about a sitter being delayed coming in from afar.

It may also help to look at sitter profiles in various cities. Look for people who are similar to you, read their profiles, see if you want to make any modifications. Soon, your experience will speak for itself, your reviews will speak for themselves, and you are on your way to more sits.

Very good luck.

5 Likes
15

I usually sit alone and I am female.
What I sometimes do is read reviews from previous sitters, and/or check out their profile.
If all the reviews talk about “we” or “us”, I might not bother applying, unless I really want that sit, or there is an option that my partner might be free to join.
You could do something similar, look who the previous sitters were and see if you might have things in common with them.

1 Like
16

We sit as a couple, and I always think homeowners are lucky as there are two of us for duties, one is better at mechanical problems and cleaning, the other is the caregiver and player.
However we do sit for singles sometimes and I realize how different we are from the owners- we use the kitchen more, wash more clothes, maybe make more noise.
When I’m sitting on my own I cook less and read more. But I prefer to sit in apartments when I’m on my own, houses when we are together.
Like everyone said, I’ve realized through the years that every one is looking for something different, so you can’t take it personally.
Similar hobbies could be the key, a picture of a sitter that reminded them of themselves, or their family…. Who knows! But keep trying and sit for less than ideal dates or location to get your reviews up!

2 Likes
17

I don’t mean to dispute your concerns about racism or prejudice against couple. I am sure that there is as much racism on THS as anywhere in the world. However, if someone were to look at my prior sitters, they would see a pattern of single women, mostly white. That is a reflection of the applicants I get, not a bias on my part (I am a single white woman). The vast majority of my applicants are single women. I recently added this to my listing to encourage others to apply “Couples and singles of all genders welcome.”

6 Likes
18

@Bobsta getting sits can be very competitive especially when the other applicants have more flexibility, experience, speak the local language etc. I don’t deep dive into the inter workings of why I’ve been rejected for a sit as there are over 8,000 sits on THS to choose from. I just apply to the next sit of interest and move on. This is from someone who has completed sits on 4 continents in various countries. You mentioned you’ve been with THS for 2 years (since 2022) have you gained a fair amount of 5* reviews during this time that can speak to your experience?

19

Whilst we wouldn’t exclude anyone of the basis of being single or couple, we think couples work a little better for where we are as it’s a quieter place. As for the number of reviews, everyone has to start somewhere so worth giving people a go and having a chat!

20

We are a mixed couple white and bi racial. While I’ve never believed race has been an impedement on THS, I sometimes suspect us not being retired professionals plays a part in rejections.

Having said that, we get plenty of sits, so we dont care.

3 Likes