Challenging sit: missing cat, repeated dog escapes — how would you handle this?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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Hi everyone,

I’m currently on a sit and would really appreciate some perspective from the community. This is the homeowners’ first experience with a petsitter.

We are in Bali, Indonesia, in a jungle area with a tropical climate and rainy season. All the animals here are used to having free outdoor access and have GPS trackers at the collar.

One of the cats has been missing for two days now. He normally stays close to the house, but unfortunately he didn’t return to recharge his GPS tracker, so the battery ran out and we can’t see a current location. We’ve already searched the house, nearby areas, and surroundings multiple times.

To add some context, earlier during the sit one of the dogs ran away twice. The first time he ran into the mountains directly behind the house, and I was able to track and find him fairly quickly using the GPS. A few days later, he ran off again and this time traveled around 11 km into the mountains. He spent the night at mountains and was eventually found the next morning, again thanks to the tracker.

The house is located right next to the mountains, there is active construction nearby (including a newly built wall that wasn’t there before), monkeys in the area, and occasionally fireworks going off. Until recently, construction workers were also bringing a dog, which may have scared the cat away — I’ve since asked them not to bring the dog anymore.

I’m doing regular checks, calling the cat, and staying observant, but the homeowners are understandably very anxious and are asking for frequent searches, including at night in unfinished neighboring buildings, which I don’t feel is safe or reasonable. When the dog went missing for the second time, the homeowners asked me to go at night by scooter into the mountain area to search for him in the dark. I explained that this would not be safe for me — I’m not a confident scooter driver, the terrain is difficult, and visibility at night is very limited — and I clearly said that I was not comfortable doing this.

I’d also like to add that the cat who is currently missing is only around 1–2 years old and had never run away before. From the very beginning of the sit, I had a good relationship with all of the animals (5 in total - 3 cats and 2 dogs). The missing cat was very affectionate with me — he slept with me in my bed, slept on my belongings, and was comfortable being touched and petted. The dog is also very friendly, and we spent nice time together on walks and during the day.

This is an unpaid sit (exchange for accommodation), and I want to be supportive while also maintaining realistic and safe boundaries.

How would you react in a situation like this while on a sit? What would you consider reasonable expectations from a sitter in these circumstances, and where would you personally draw the line?

Thank you in advance for any advice or shared experiences.

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Different culture. I think that what the PP is asking does not sound unreasonable to them. I believe if they were there they would be doing what they asked of you. I would also not feel comfortable and would never put my safety in danger paid or not paid as you mentioned it is not a paid sit. When you let animals roam free as they do they are taking the risk of not seeing their pet again. If there is no negligence on your part like forgetting to charge the tracker then only do what you are comfortable with. Does the area use a certain social media platform you can post the cat missing or a local store to put up a flyer? Cats can stay away for days and will return when hungry if it is not in harm’s way.

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I’d suggest getting in touch with THS for advice and not expect much help, but do that as more of a CYA measure, so it’s on record that you’re sitting escapees.

I also wouldn’t put myself in danger to hunt for the pets and agree that it’s not a matter of paid or unpaid.

Personally, I wouldn’t sit in such settings as you describe, especially not with pets that roam free. I prefer fewer risks and complications with sitting. And if they have indoor/outdoor cats, I ask during video chatting at the outset about what happens if they don’t return. I would pursue such a sit further only if the hosts acknowledge the risks and seem reasonable, meaning that they understand that their cat(s) could end up not returning and be hurt or killed on their wanderings. I wouldn’t accept a sit where I could be routinely having to hunt for pets that are allowed to roam.

With sitting, you never know how pets will react to a stranger, and it’s important to make sure that the hosts are aware that that’s the case.

I happen to repeat sit for one household that offered me airfare, because they know that their indoor/outdoor cats love me and will return every night for me, which they wouldn’t do for some previous sitters.

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Hi Anveroggi,

I live in Koh Samui and have lived in Bali before. Unfortunately all the things you describe are very common where animals live more ‘freely’ even if they are pets.

It must be such a stressful situation for you and I very much sympathise. If I was you I’d set the boundaries going forward of what you are happy with for the duration of the sit - calling for the animals and maybe going into the mountains/unfinished buildings in the day, if you’re ok with that.

You absolutely shouldn’t do anything you feel is unsafe and I’d just articulate that in a compassionate way to the owners. And, of course, we can understand why they are worried but I bet this has happened to them before, hence the trackers.

When construction is happening it can also be an issue - noise and people like workers they are not used to. I bet they all come back eventually (they often find things to eat which lessens that need). Is it possible to keep the dog at home in some way until the owners return? Then at least it’s one less issue.

Some other posters have chimed in with their advice but sometimes animals just go off for a while whatever bond you’ve built with them - in fact it happened to my own dog who I’d had for 7 years in London. His recall (and love for me) was great but one night he took off after a scent on a regular walk and was missing for 10 hours. It’s absolutely nothing you’re done or lack of connection you’ve established.

Sending virtual hugs and keeping positive thoughts for you and hopefully the ‘returnees’. x

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Others, and in particular @BJane , gives good advice.

It is an exchange and the boundaries should be reasonable. First I think it would be good was that you think through what you find reasonable (and it seems you already have some thoughts on that) . You are allowed to and should have an opinion on what you think is ok for you, being an unpaid equal exhange partner.

I find some things unsafe

Driving a scooter under conditions you are not comfortable with (or at all) if you do not have experience/ skills

Roaming mountains alone at night

Construction sites. These are prohibited to enter in my country if you are not on site staff, and one should have helmet, hard shoes etc. It might not be requirements (or enforced) in Bali, but no matter rules or not - the rules are there because it is considered a risk - even for paid professionals. The risk is there also if there aren’t requirements.

I note that all have trackers, and that is surely because they are known to or have a possibility to roam. When owners are away and they have a sitter, they might wander more.

My very much indoor or else on a leash dog took a wander once. I put out his little house by the door, and one time I came home I found him waiting in the house. :blush:

I think an option is to figure out what YOU is comfortable with, and based on that you can, if you want, also suggest some measures that you find reasonable. It could ease the PP that you have suggestions.

ChatGPT suggest a message for inspiration:

«I completely understand how worried you must feel right now, and I want to reassure you that I’m doing what I can to help :pet: return safely. I’ve been checking the house and nearby areas multiple times a day, calling for him, and keeping food and familiar items (like his blanket/litter box) near the house to encourage him back.

Cats often hide for a few days when they’re startled by changes in their environment — the recent construction, fireworks, and the visiting dog may have unsettled him. It’s very possible he will return once he feels safe again.

I’ll continue to monitor closely and keep you updated. For safety reasons, I won’t be able to search at night in unfinished buildings or drive into the mountains in the dark, but I’ll make sure to cover the safe areas thoroughly during daylight. If you’d like, I can also ask neighbors and workers to keep an eye out.

I’m committed to caring for all the animals responsibly and keeping them safe, while also ensuring I don’t put myself at risk. I’ll keep you posted with any developments.»

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After seeing CYA in a few posts I had no idea what it meant until I read your post :+1:

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When cats are frightened and go missing they are typically hiding very close to the house and are wary of coming out for any number of reasons, give it a little time, they may show up. Or, conversely, they may have fallen victim to any number of jungle predators. I “lost” a cat on a sit 15 years ago, the HO told me he was free to come and go through the cat flap anytime he wanted and he went out at 5 am one morning and never returned, I’m pretty certain he was eaten by a coyote. She BERATED me when she returned, even though it was she who told me that he was free to come and go, and she also berated me for not washing her car even though I barely drove it, if I drove it all. The dog - two weeks ago I finished a sit where the HO’s two dogs took off chasing wildlife and were gone for 90 minutes, she told me they were good off lead and had good recall and URGED me to take them off lead, so I did. They were off and running within 5 or 10 minutes of being let off, thankfully they eventually came back but one got himself very turned around and if people didn’t set off to look for him he may have never come back. The HO of course said “they never do that!” and apologised for the stress blah blah blah, then left me a passive aggressive 5 star review, which she’s done to other sitters as well. The dogs didn’t have trackers but they will now. Sooo, you can only do what you can do and shouldn’t be expected to devote so much time to searching for their pets that keep taking off, they are free range and that’s what happens in that environment.

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Note: In countries or cultures where pets aren’t necessarily doted on the same way by lots of people, getting help looking might come down to you potentially paying for help, if that’s something you want to consider.

To me, it’s pointless to say whether someone did “right” or “wrong” in such circumstances. The only thing we can do as sitters is decide whether we can do better by ourselves and pets when choosing sits and asking relevant questions, so we can try to avoid needless stress or worse.

That’s what I mean by my avoiding such circumstances — in countries and cultures I understand, and where I can speak the language, I can take better care of pets. So I don’t sit where that’s not the case. Like if something happened to a pet and they needed a vet, I would want to be able to communicate fluently with the vet. And I could talk to neighbors or others and get help if a pet goes astray.

That kind thing is within our control, as is say choosing to sit or not for pets who are regularly allowed to wander free. That’s entirely different from any pet that normally stays indoors or is walked by someone on a leash. Of course, those pets can randomly wander away, but that would be a one-off. By the description that OP shared, these are not those kind of pets. By taking such sits, the risk is inherently higher.

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I would ask the construction men if they saw the cat. You said it is young and they might of thought it is a stray and took it home. Once I was staying at a friend’s house on an Island where people have acres of land mostly used for gardening. One day a young stray cat shows up outside where I was staying in the guest house. Being a cat lover I started taking care of it while my friend posted on Nextdoor.com to see if anyone was missing a cat. The owner came three days later after she saw the post and it was concluded that the outdoors cat jumped on the back of the truck that had the back open as workers loaded it. The truck was packed so wouldn’t see a cat hiding. The truck had a delivery miles away next to the property my friend had. Cat must of jumped off while they were bringing things in. The cat was too young to roam that far in such a short time as when it went missing and arrived at the property I was on. So many things can happen with cats. Hopefully it will find its way home.

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This is such a stressful situation, I’m so sorry!

Maybe the owners have a local friend that could go searching, someone who is more familiar with the area. Did they leave an emergency contact?

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Er… Aren’t ALL sits on here unpaid?

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I am really sorry to hear about this. One of our first sits was in Bali–that we ended up doing for 6 months– that had a number of cats and dogs. On our second day of the sit one of the cats didn’t come home and never did unfortunately.

They had a walled property but they were easily able to jump over it, and I don’t think the owner realized how often they left. We had to round them up every night around sunset–snakes and other hazards made it less than ideal for them to stay out all night– and it was a bit stressful, especially since one was deaf and I know for a fact she sometimes wandered quite far as we saw her out one day while we were walking around the neighborhood.

I don’t know if I would do a sit with outdoor cats or even dogs in such areas again unless hosts made it very clear we would not be responsible for their whereabouts, spending extensive time looking for them if they run off,etc….

I understand that they probably put all that effort into searching for their animals, especially the dog when he runs off into the mountains and understandably so. But I don’t think it is reasonable to ask you to be going into construction sites and riding around the mountains in the dark.

Ultimately I don’t know exactly how I would handle the situation.

You say you have expressed your discomfort with asking you to look for the dog. How did they respond exactly? It wasn’t clear if you expressed the same discomfort with looking for the cat. You can’t know how they will respond until you do.

If you have said something and they are still insisting on you doing this, you really only have two choices.

You can emphatically say that you cannot and perhaps it might result in some conflict, it could potentially result in ending the sit early.

You don’t give any more pushback and keep doing what they ask, feeling like it is unreasonable and unfair. But you take ownership of this choice and realize you value something else more than putting your foot down, whether it is avoiding conflict, avoiding a bad review,etc… And with that ownership, even though you are doing something you don’t want to do, it won’t bother you as much.

Hosts know the risks of letting their animals out, especially in areas like that where they can be bitten by snakes, run over by erratic motorbikes drivers and such. I remember one of the issues when I was there was people stealing animals and selling them. I always wonder if that is what happened to that cat…snow white with bright blue eyes.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and sorry you are experiencing something so stressful.

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@Cuttlefish didn’t you do a sit in Bali? Any advice here?

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I recently, in September and October, did a sit in Bali with three cats. I go to Bali often as quite a lot of Australians do as it is “relatively” close to Oz, so I have a fairly good understanding of how things are over there.

Animals in Bali are a very sad sight usually, unless they are kept indoors or under a very strict secure and safe environment. Unfortunately there are stray cats and dogs literally everywhere and they are very malnourished, timid, flea ridden, and hungry. I spend a good deal of my time when there buying food and feeding them, usually there are kittens and the dogs have pups so it’s very sad to see. There are welfare groups that do their best to save them but the numbers are overwhelming so it’s sometimes a fruitless exercise no matter how hard they try. So my point to this is…

On my recent stay, the three cats stayed within the grounds but it didn’t stop other cats from coming in and causing all out mayham. One of my charges was left with deep wounds to his paws and a bad limp from trying to fight off the other cat. The surrounding streets were full of strays, both cats and dogs, normal in outlying areas of Bali. So I am sadly wondering if, with this particular cat being so young, it did what most kids do and decided to go exploring one day, only to be met by one of the more experienced strays that are literally everywhere looking for food and shelter.

Monkeys in Bali have also become a major problem because tourists look upon them as an attraction and try to feed and interact with them, bad move. They carry rabies in Indonesia. Wild dogs with pups are common, they do whatever they have to to protect their pups and themselves and to find food. So they will attack anything that is a possible food source or a threat. Also, riding scooters in Bali is a very, very dangerous activity. The number of visitors injured or killed on scooters there is huge. Locals know how to navigate a scooter and traffic etc, tourists don’t, no matter how experienced one may think they are - Bali is very different. Not unlike Vietnam where you wouldn’t even attempt it. It’s a huge risk so I wouldn’t feel comfortable searching at night, or on those roads, if you can call half of them roads. You need to look out for your own safety.

I think this sitter has been put in a very bad situation and the homeowners would know everything I have said and would have to be aware of the possibilities of something like this happening (99% of the time it is expats who have sitters, not Indonesians). From what the OP has said, they have done everything they can within the boundaries of safety for themselves and done their utmost to locate the cat. If both the dog and cat have run into the jungle, I would put my life savings on them doing so on a regular basis, hence why they are wearing tracking collars. Why else would they have them? So the owners ARE aware of them going walkabout, they fitted them with collars for that exact reason. So as devastating as it is for a sitter, and I understand as it happened to me once but the cat eventually came home, @Anveroggi there appears very little else you can do apart from hope and pray it finds its way home. If not, regrettably the onus falls on the HO as they were aware this might happen and need to take responsibility for it. It breaks my heart even thinking about it all as what I witness each visit to Bali really is heartbreaking, I’ve seen it in India, Egypt, everywhere, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

Long post but I’m trying to help you understand that it isn’t your fault, you have done everything you can by the sounds of it, the cat now has to find it’s way home or the HO has to take responsibility for the loss. Either way, it’s a terrible, horrible and distressing situation and I feel for you x

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Not Bali but a few in Thailand and remote Türkiye with animals that wandered freely or were runners. The best advice is to try not to stress, simply wait for them to come back, look for them in daylight hours but don’t put yourself at risk. I think the OP is being asked too much by the hosts TBH. If they have free rein then that’s their lifestyle & totally fine. Scooters in mountains at night and negotiating scouting construction sites is a big ask. How long is the sit? Could someone who knows the local area better help out? #staycalm

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Hi, @Anveroggi . I don’t have much to offer on top of the excellent advice already given by others, but wanted to say I feel for you & hope things work out OK.

This situation sucks for everyone, and no less so for sitters. Definitely in the top 3 list of things I’m afraid of happening. It always makes me nervous when pet owners ask me (or even insist) that their pets be allowed off leash or let to wander.

It won’t help in this case, but a suggestion for future: I’ve started carrying Airtags with me on my sits, which get clipped on pet collars the minute they’re on my watch. They’re not faultless but they work pretty darn well, and the battery doesn’t wear out for months, & doesn’t require recharging. I bought a pack of 4 from Apple, and then leather holders & nice solid keychain clips on Amazon…very economical. I also attach an extra one to the PO’s keys (and have had cause to be glad of it!)

Good luck — and as others have said, please be sure to prioritize your own safety, as hard as it feels sometimes. You can’t help or take care of any of their pets if you’re out of commission!

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That’s a great point and suggestion

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Thank you for your reply. Yes, we will start putting up flyers in the area soon and they made a post in local FB group. There is no issue with cultural differences here – both the homeowners and I are Europeans, not locals.

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Yes, if I had known there was such a risk, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to this either. When we discussed the sit with the owners, they didn’t mention anything like this. In fact, the cat has never wandered off that long before. Only the dog ran away once, several months ago, back in July.

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Thank you for your comment. Yes, if you’ve lived in Bali, you know what the situation here can be like. We are in quite a wild part of the island. The house is basically in the middle of the jungle, and right behind it there is a large mountain — literally immediately behind the property. So at any moment the animals can wander up there. The mountain rises several hundred meters.

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