“Appropriate” is in the eye of the beholder in these circumstances. To me, there’s no harm done in asking nicely and without entitlement.
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I prefer to put good energy into the universe and care not to ask strangers to judge on what is ‘appropriate’ - if you’re in a position to help out then do so if not then don’t.
If she asked kindly and you were able to allow her to stay 2 nights instead of 1 then that would be great. She is coming to your home and looking after everything for you with little expectation. I’m sure she will be a lovely person because you chose her to take care of your precious animals and home in the first place.
When you’re away just remember that you might need help or a little extra and you might find yourself needing to message your sitter if she will do you a favour. It works both ways and that is supposed to be what is wonderful about THS, we are all helping each other out where needed.
Every petsit is unique and we always say depends on the situation. It is difficult to compare every sit and flexibility, communication and a general good attitude are the best way forward. Maybe try not to view everything with such scepticism - that is bound to end in difficulty with a no payment housesitting exchange. Assume the best, extend generosity where possible and everything should go well.
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Hi @DET - welcome to the Forum!
I just thought I’d check in and see if the help you’ve received from our members has helped ease your mind a bit.
Big thanks to @Enjaybee, @Peonie19, @Pawtastic, @Chrissie, @Colin, @Smiley, @Shannon, @pietkuip, @Twitcher, @Maggie8K, @cat.tails @Stmarys, @MiqueFrançois, @Crosswords_and_puzzles, @HappyDeb @KC1102, @cawosey, and @1self for popping on to share your thoughts.
Jenny
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I don’t know if it’s exactly appropriate or inappropriate…
But in my mind, it’s a big favor to ask.
As a HO it’s unlikely that I would feel comfortable with it. I have my own thing going on (packing, organizing), and the last thing I want is a guest in my home for more time than necessary.
And as a sitter, I can’t imagine ever asking this. (Though HO’s have often offered to have me come early or stay late.)
If a HO askes me to come early and stay overnight for scheduling reasons (eg. they’re leaving very early the next morning), I either pay to stay somewhere nearby, or if it’s not going to be awkward or cramped, I (rarely) stay one night in the HO’s house.
Maybe this sitter is used to HO’s offering to them the option of arriving early, and therefore they think it’s not weird to ask?
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Clearly there are different views on this and it may be partly cultural- some cultures are more “don’t ask, don’t get” and some are more “you should know not to ask such a thing!” Personally as a homeowner this is a big no for me. The few days before leaving are usually very stressful and I would hope sitters would understand that. Of course if a sitter wants to come the night before that’s fine and I welcome them warmly and cook them a nice meal. And if someone were coming a long way I would absolutely try to accommodate an extra night. End of sit is different too- our last sitter had a night betwen us and her next sit so we offered her to stay on and she did and it was no trouble. But in the case of someone who lives nearby, it would really throw me as to why they would think it ok to put me to extra trouble at a stressful time?
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This is exactly how I feel about it. It is a big favour and as a HO I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. Maybe if my house was bigger, but my house is really small, and I definitely don’t want a guest staying here while I’m getting ready to go on a trip. Wearing my sitter hat, I would never ask this of my host either.
It depends on the circumstances. If your sitter is arriving from an entirely different time zone, and considering all of the problems with flight delays and such, it’s not a bad plan. But the evening before is adequate for a sitter coming in from the surrounding area.
My last HO had to cancel two weeks in advance of the sit. I had a non-refundable airfare. She actually offered to have me stay the entire time I had planned to be there. I declined. She was starting chemo and didn’t need a stranger in the kitchen when she came in to make her coffee.
You are not being paranoid. I don’t know how often sitters make that request. Nobody has ever made that request to me. I’ve been a member one year, and have used the site 9 times as a pet parent with number 10 coming up. It’s possible a “full time” sitter or sitter who is visiting your area might want to avoid staying in an airbnb. That’s what is known as their problem, not yours. Some hosts might make an offer.
Sometimes pet parents invite sitters a day or two early. This could be to meet the pets, especially dogs, or to make travel arrangements easier. You didn’t offer and it sounds like this would be stressful for you. One time when a couple was coming to sit I offered to let them stay over the night before. This was a last minute sit because the previous sitter has cancelled. They were coming to my town anyway and would be arriving late and had planned to stay at a hotel. They declined my invitation which would have involved our staying on the pull out and giving them the bed. I was kind of relieved they declined. As I was leaving early the next morning, they picked up keys from a neighbor and I left a lot of detailed instructions.
In your shoes, I’d decline the request and move on to another applicant. If there were no other applicants, I’d do a gut check and only consider the sitter and the request if I felt 100% comfortable.
We personally agree. For us we always book accommodations in between sits as it is a time to decompress for us as well. We will offer to go over and stay close by but in a hotel or Airbnb to find out the routine if it is more complex, or to meet a shy or scared animal so they get familiar with us. But completely agreed, it is stressful to have another person in your house especially as you are getting ready to go on a trip. It is just not a good match.
We have stayed for one night in advance when someone was leaving very early the next day But in general if there is a choice we would prefer to find other accommodations. Especially if it is not a remote area.
I’m a sitter who sits within 2-3 hours of my home, as a digital nomad and while I understand the pinch time between sits can be uncomfortable, I would never ask for 2 days. That is a long time.
I typically have been invited to come - at most - the day before, which I appreciate. Once I asked an HO if I could stay over the final nite - she was arriving late anyway and I’d be arriving already the day before on my next sit, so that worked out just fine too.
But I would never be like - hey, I have 2 days unbooked, so can I stay at your place early? That feels icky to me. I also have a few local friends who have said if I ever need a nite here or there, I can pop in, so in that way, I rarely have to book a room or hotel elsewhere. But if I had the means abundantly, I would definitely do that instead too!
My overall advice on TH is to trust your gut. With who you pick and the decisions you make. If this feels weird to you and you don’t want to deal with it, bye bye!
But at the same time, as many have said, (and I think depending on what part of the world you’re in, as housesitting is less mainstream in USA) - for many folks this type of thing is super normal. So you do you!
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I’ve had the most wonderful dinners and made the most wonderful friends in the days before and after the official ‘sit’.
When I first joined THS 5 years ago it was a well-defined ‘airbnb for pet lovers’ and the marketing positioning was very much about it being a high-trust, high-value holiday experience with a strong focus on guest experience.
I was invited a few days before the sit to get acquainted with my hosts and the pets — and in fact the pets settle in really quickly when they see you with the sitter before their parents leave — and they would take me to the super market and buy my food, or stock the fridge in advance with things I like to eat, no joke!
HOs were so grateful that their pets would be loved and cared for in their own home, and this was reflected in their hospitality. In fact I STILL sit in a 7-bedroom skylit mansion in my hometown for a month every year, enjoying dinners and laughs with the family a WEEK before they leave! True friendships have been formed.
I feel that the culture of THS has changed a lot, and while I still meet wonderful people, HOs are less aware that this is not only free pet sitting, but also holiday accommodation, and the guest sitter is looking forward to a holiday experience.
This might be a marketing/positioning move on THS’s part, or it might be that the membership base is now so big, and the platform so transactional, that HOs forget.
I agree that there’s no harm in asking, and saying yes or no depending on what feels good for you. It’s not unusual, it can be wonderful, and you can make true friends (and learn great new recipes!) — once the HOs took me for a pub dinner to meet their friends!
It might also give you a sense of comfort getting to know someone before you leave them alone in your house.
Go with your gut and I know you’ll get a sense of THS and how you’d like to benefit from it as you do more exchanges on the platform.
Best wishes 
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I love your response! and it’s so true. It’s no harm asking to arrive early, and it’s no harm saying no. To me tho, if I feel sceptical about a sitter arriving before the actual sit date I’d have to challenge my mentality, because this sitter is coming to my home and will be there when I am not for a significant amount of time. I would want to be able to get to really know this sitter spending time talking and going over the responsibilities, and it will be a less stressful handover. To be honest I think it would give the sitter a chance to really get to know the Ho. I think being open to this option will set the tone for better communication and confidence between the sitter & home owner. But that’s just me .
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