How many days early do you think is reasonable for a HO to ask sitters to arrive before a sit?
The homeowner has just asked my partner and I to arrive a week in advance of the petsit to help their dog adjust (she did mention when we applied over a month ago that the dog has been dealing with anxiety lately). When we applied, we discussed having some overlap but we don’t remember committing to a specific dates or amount of time – the arrival date in their listing is the day before their trip, so that’s what we were expecting. Their recent message is saying that they did discuss this with us.
While I appreciate the HOs offer for us to stay in their guest room, I feel uncomfortable sharing such close living space with people I don’t know for a whole week. And we only have 10 days in between housesits and have been planning on taking time off from work to go camping and visit other areas in the state before we arrive.
They mentioned in their recent message that they will be busy running errands the day before their trip but my preference would be to arrive on that day to meet them and spend the day together and at the home with their dog. As a HO myself, I make sure I have all of my errands and prep done before the petsitter arrives.
The homeowner departs on a Wednesday – to accommodate their day of errands on Tuesday, I am thinking we could offer to arrive on Monday to spend time with them and then we would prefer to spend Tuesday working, remotely from their guest room, or exploring the new location since they’ll be busy preparing for their trip. Does this sound reasonable? I am anticipating they might say they need to work on Monday but we are also employed and taking time off from work.
Do you have any suggestions for how to approach this situation? Thank you.
@walksandcuddles Welcome! You and the owners have agreed on set dates as posted in their listing which includes the day before they go away. Arriving the day before is very normal for some sitters, including myself, and I would be sticking with that. I’m perhaps assuming they are new owners and as anxious as their dog is!
Just politely reply that the agreement is for the dates listed and that you already have plans made for before the sit. You are not at their beck and call where this is an equal exchange. They need to understand that what is booked is what it is. Good luck!
A week before??? They won’t realise how much they are putting you out, you can’t fully relax until you have the place to yourselves.
More importantly, from our experience, anxious dogs relax quicker when their owners aren’t around, we wouldn’t say that directly to an owner that asked us to stay 1 or 2 nights prior because their dog was anxious… but it’s true. We just stay beforehand so the owner is less anxious .
The longest we’ve stayed is 2 nights prior. Although there have been other times when we have popped in beforehand with anxious dogs, just so when we arrive it’s a familiar face.
I’d say 2 nights max, but if you’re planning on being in the area, what about suggesting you pop in for a cuppa instead a week or 2 beforehand. I would make it as soon as your last sit ends, and then you’re not thinking about it too much, and they can switch off too because they’ll be able to see their dog is fine with you.
Just be clear and stay firm. It is very unusual - many sitters would avoid even a day overlap. Personally I avoid such inhouse overlaps altogether (for my last sit I was offered but chose a hotel and free time).
Unfortunately, we are not able to arrive before…
What is a worry is what is this really about. Two things that would worry me and that could influence the lenght of the sit:
Is this a pet with an anxiety that should have been a paid petsit and not an equal exchange?
Is this an owner with anxiety of sorts regarding the pet that could be an issue during the sit?
It could be good to do this loop one more time, whether this sit is a good match. Before it is too late. Even if you decide to go forward with the sit it could make you better prepared.
The only reason to arrive before the day of the sit is if the home owners have a very early start time on the day of the sit. A request to arrive a whole week early is overkill and then some. This sounds like a huge red flag to me.
So they want you to give up an extra week of your life ( 168 hours ) but they can’t be organised enough to be available for a few hours on the day of the handover ???
Remember you are not being paid and THS is about mutual exchange .A reasonable host understands this.
When a host doesn’t understand ( or chooses to ignore ) the mutual exchange ethos of THS , things can go horribly wrong for the sitter.
Set your boundaries now , it’s about a mutual exchange.
“ We can arrive on the date we’ve agreed and confirmed on THS which is day before you leave - we are not available to arrive any earlier . “ and stick to that (whatever they say in reply)
I have arrived two nights before the HO departure on a couple of occasions - both of which involved very large properties, with lots of things to get to know - pool, tennis court, home cinema etc, or lots of animals (a ‘hobby farm’ with cows, sheep, pigs, poultry etc).
A week sounds excessive and awkward in any context.
I personally would pass as I anticipate the PP will be the problem. Constant correspondence from them while I am on the sit and may even ask, how long did you leave Rover alone yesterday and can you not leave him for that long or take him with you. I anticipate too much babysitting the nerves of the PP which I personally have no patience for. The dog can be anxious because they live with an anxious person. You know your tolerance level and it may be better than mine.
Arriving a week before the sit is too much! A night or two before should be more than enough. Even if you don’t remember exactly what was discussed during your video chat, I am sure you would remember if they asked you to arrive a week before as that would have likely seemed excessive, given their posted dates.
Send a polite reply that your schedule does not allow for that, but that you would be able to arrive on Monday (2 days before they leave). Them having to work shouldn’t be an issue because I am sure they would have to work that whole week they are asking you to arrive early. Set your boundaries now or you will be taken advantage of the whole sit!
This is a huge red flag for me. I have never canceled a confirmed sit, but in this case I probably would. Your wording betrays a certain perspective: “While I appreciate the HOs offering for us to stay in their guest room”.
This is not an OFFER. This is a PRESSURE. There is nothing to appreciate here except the fact that the homeowners seem to think you are “the help” and not independent adults with your own lives.
An offer could have been: “We’re so worried about Fluffy that we’d prefer to be nearby in case she has issues. We’ve found a nearby hotel for ourselves for a week prior to the agreed upon dates. If it would be workable for your schedules, we’d love to have you for an additional week. We’ll be nearby for the first part but will stay out of your hair - promise! But if Fluffy has any anxiety etc. that time will allow us to come up with a mutual plan to ensure she’s okay the rest of the time. We understand completely if this doesn’t work out for you…” etc. etc.
Expecting you to just be in their house, while they’re there, for an extra seven days - YIKES. Walk away.
Thank you for such important reminders about what something looks and feels like when it’s a mutual exchange. I appreciate the validation that they should be capable or getting organized enough to make time for the handover the day before their trip. I was trying so hard in my mind to be accommodating and not realizing that it didn’t feel like the HO was trying to consider my needs. I did respond politely that I’ll be available the day before her departure for the handover. Waiting to hear back.
Yes, they are brand new to THS. I think this is a contributing factor. Thank you for taking the time to provide your perspective and experience! I’m on my second petsit through THS but I’ve hosted several sitters in the past and I remember the first time I left I was nervous too and wanted to meet the sitter and show them around before my departure. Now I just share the guide and communicate over THS or text to see if they have questions. I’m hoping for the best with this HO new to THS!
You’re right, their message was not an offer it was a reminder that felt more like pressure. I’m choosing to see it as an offer. I replied politely that we are able to arrive on the agreed upon date that is listed in the post. It’s also in our messages on THS that she’d like for us to arrive at least a day early. She did offer during the phone call for us to arrive and stay in the guest room beforehand but I don’t remember confirming to that and it’s not reflected in the confirmed post. I’m hoping things work out. Waiting for her reply.
Agreed, need to next time have in writing a confirmation of the arrival date and departure date. Is third party also about handovers? The only thing I could find on the website is that it’s normal for them to happen and they’re usually anywhere from around an hour to an overnight, if mutually agreed upon.
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