Conflict with 3rd party and privacy

Currently on a sit that for the most part has been great!! Wonderful dog, lovely house and the owners let me use their car and got me groceries which I appreciate.

The conflict I ran into was other people visiting during the sit. When we agreed to the sit the only person who they mentioned would be coming over weekly was there organizer/cleaner. When I arrived to the sit they told me their daughter would be popping over once to pick something up, construction would be working for a few days outside and their cleaner would actually be coming over twice a week. They also mentioned their hunter friends would be coming by at some point for deer hunting on the property. They are new to THS and they didn’t realize the 3rd party rules so I gave them grace and said I’m okay with everything as long as people aren’t here excessively and that absolutely no hunters come by (gunshots scare me!)

Unfortunately the cleaner is really more their organizer so for the most part she’s just in the owners room rearranging their closet and bathroom. While she does give me somewhat of an advance notice when she’s coming her schedule is different than what was agreed upon with the owners. She also told me point blank she’d help clean up after the dog but I would be on my own for everything else which is different from what the owners told me both verbally and in writing. I absolutely understand where she’s coming from though, I’m not the one paying her so why should she clean up after me!

My biggest issue is that today I’m sick and texted her that I don’t feel well and need my space because I also have a telehealth appointment that I need privacy for. This request was denied and now she’s here and won’t even agree to leave by the time of my appointment. She’s also gonna be here tomorrow to help prepare for the homeowners arrival friday. I truly don’t know what to do at this point since my issue isn’t really with the HO but with their organizer. I know THS takes privacy very seriously (at least with HO’s) but it sucks that I feel my privacy has been kinda violated during this sit. I’m debating calling the HO and asking them to tell her to leave by my appointment time but I really don’t want to escalate the situation especially when the sit is almost over.

I’m sorry you’re being made to feel uncomfortable, if I were you I would absolutely be contacting the HO’s to make them aware of the situation and asking she gives you the privacy you need for your appointment.

You may not be the one paying her, but you are staying in the home of the people who are, it’s not really for her to decide she won’t clean your spaces, especially if that’s what has been agreed between you and the HO.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon :slight_smile:

1 Like

Hello
I’m sorry to hear all that, especially since you aren’t feeling well. I have never had a sit where the cleaner did not clean the entire house, and I was responsible for my own areas. That is strange they wouldn’t be cleaning the areas that most need it because people are using those spaces. If the HOs specifically said otherwise, I would maybe mention that to them after the sit was finished. Wouldn’t want to get anyone in trouble, but I think they would probably want to know if the person wasn’t doing her job properly.

As for the other dilemma, if I were you, I honestly probably would just leave it alone since the sit is only for a couple of more days. You have every right to say something, but you want to decide if it is worth it to create any tension between you and the HOs or you and the cleaning person. If you are already experiencing a lot of emotional discomfort, you may end up with even more depending on how the situation goes.

I am always looking at things through the lens of keeping my ego in check and picking my ‘battles’ wisely because I like to make my life as easy as possible. And if it were me, because the sit is so close to being finished, whatever issues could potentially arise by bringing that all up, and doing what my ego mind perceives to be the ‘right’ thing, would not be worth it to me. Everyone is different though and that is just my opinion.

This experience is a good learning one and can help you in accepting future sits because you will know to ask certain questions and let HOs know certain things that would not be okay, like work being done on the home while you are there,etc.

Good luck and feel better!

1 Like

Sorry to hear this. I was recently in similar situations and I know how upsetting it is.

I don’t think there is much you can do, but you could try to report it. Try to have written proof of what’s happening, if you have text messages from the cleaner or the owner. It’s against THS policies (and the rules of common human decency as well), and I hope someone will do something, even if it’s just to warn them. You could wait until your sit is over.

1 Like

I was in a similar situation but with a nosy, intrusive neighbor. I don’t know if she assigned herself as a spy, or if the HOs had given her some indication to do so. Regardless, when she stepped over a high boundary, I let the HOs know and that I would not tolerate such treatment. They agreed and I didn’t hear from her again.

2 Likes

I also had interfering neighbours on one sit, but the owner sided totally with them.

It doesn’t sound like the HO is aware of how their cleaner/organiser is affecting your stay, and I don’t think they would want that. you need to make the HO aware of what’s going on, and how it differs from what you had discussed with them, but tell them you’ve tried to be accommodating with their cleaner but you feel like you can not relax in their home with their dog, which is ultimately the reason you are there. you need to mention something to them, im sure they don’t want their dog with someone who is always on-edge.

Here’s the update:

I verbally talked to her and told her that her leaving by my appointment time was non negotiable. She pushed back and said it was really strange that I want her to leave since she’s in the basement and I’ll be upstairs but even if she’s not intentionally listening in the house is echoy and I feel within my right to have certain boundaries when it comes to my medical privacy. I even offered to buy her lunch and that she could come back after my appointment if she really needed too. She’s preparing to leave now and I can tell she’s a bit upset with me.

I know that she’s not aware of the THS policies so I might briefly explain it tomorrow when she comes back. I’m someone who’s does her best to avoid conflict and now I feel guilty asking her to go. I might leave her a gift card or something tomorrow as a thanks for sorta helping me clean up! I’m also still debating whether to mention any of this to the HO

I would definitely mention it, the reason being is that the HO is closest to the her, not you, and the HO is bound to ask her if you seemed to get on okay with the dog, and other things could come out, that make you look difficult to get along with, rather than you just wanting to dog-sit in your own space. You don’t have to put anything in a bad way, you just need to mention it to prevent yourself from getting hit with a bad review for no real reason.

1 Like

TBH she probably just see’s you like any other paid person… but you aren’t a paid person, you are a guest in their home, not an employee. She probably doesn’t realise that either.

She does know I’m doing this for free because her daughter was interested in doing it too. She definitely isn’t fully aware of all the policies though so I’ll try to better explain tomorrow…maybe offer to buy her coffee or something when I go out to appease her.

I agree that I need to say something to the HO! I’m just trying to find the balance of not getting her in trouble but also protecting myself. I’m probably just gonna thank them again for everything and briefly remind them of the 3rd party policy for future sitters and how at the end of the sit there were minor issues regarding it. At the end of the day she watched me play with the dog in the yard, take him to the dog park weekly and overall shower with affection so at the very least she can’t say I was a bad petsitter…even if I’m not a people person

I would simply move on. It has happened to me before and probably to many others. Not every sit is wine and roses unfortunately.

You must look at this as unknowing ignorance on the part of the cleaner. I do find that when cleaners have been looking after someone’s home for a long time, they become protective of their “territory”, like cats and dogs do, and sometimes act like they are “watching out” for the HO’s, even when they don’t need protecting. This is normal human behaviour. A sit that I had was exactly the same and it became quite edgy between us at times but I knew what she was doing, protecting her territory so to speak. Though I hated it, I understood it, gritted my teeth and kept out of her way. She was only there a short time so there was no point escalating the issue. I simply let her do her thing which I knew she was there to do, and she left. Don’t allow a few hours a day shift your focus from the big picture of a great sit. I guarantee you, the HO will side with the cleaner and if you take the discussion with her back and forth, it really could end up affecting your review. Is it worth that? I DO understand and empathise that the cleaner is a right royal pain in the butt but human nature being what it is? :person_shrugging:

Overall it has been a great sit for you, wonderful dog, great house, use of a car, sounds pretty good! You need to take the good with the bad, accept this is quite a minor issue with the sit in the overall picture, nothing to do with the HO’s obvious kindness, and move on.

2 Likes

I recommend that you get your feelings off your chest with the owner before you leave the sit. Maybe the night before you leave or in the morning. I did that before I left my last bad pet sit, and it helped me so much. It felt like I was leaving the negativity behind instead of taking it with me.

No way would I just let it go if I were in your position. The cleaner’s behaviour is not OK and you can’t be expected to silently swallow it when people don’t treat you right. If you speak up, it might make the owner aware and be kinder/more respectful towards future sitters.

2 Likes

I did that halfway through a sit (offering to be replaced and to leave), and it got me three stars and a review that does not reflect reality.

In the case of this thread, it seems clear that the cleaner could tell the HO all kinds of things and that the sitter is not likely to be treated fairly. A horrible situation.

Please make sure you mention all the 3rd party visitors in your sit feedback so other sitters are aware