Yes we both did the sit, we were on the same page as in we both felt privacy boundaries crossed by the HO and her son, but we were not on the same page about mentioning it in the review, I only found out after leaving the review and he got triggered by HO’s text message. HO does not know who left the review.
Thanks for sharing, I want to ask, did you get retaliated by HO after pointing out that she violated the rule?
My main concern looking forward is:
How to protect ourselves when starting a sit and finding out the sit has elements that violates the THS rule and preferably not cause drama ?
I thought about contacting THS service during the sit, but not sure if that’d help ?
No, the HO did not retaliate.
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- Be matter-of-fact, non-judgemental, and non-emotive in your communications. For example, if you find a third party is at the property unexpectedly, you could send a message saying something like “so sorry- do you realise third parties are against THS Ts&C’s? We aren’t able to stay here while your son is here, are there alternative arrangements he could make?”
- If it escalates in an emotive way, make sure you take a step back and manage your own feelings before responding. You don’t need to respond to anything immediately*
- Know you have the power to leave if T&Cs are being violated, you’re not being respected, or the exchange is unequal in some major way. Having the finances to pay for short-term accommodation if need be gives you confidence in this power.
- If it comes to this, again, matter-of-fact communication is key. Let them know you’re not going to enter into a discussion but will be flexible about specifics, E.g. “We will be leaving by X time. Please let us know what alternative arrangements you make for [pet] and we will support with handover so they are safe and happy”
- Contacting membership services for support is worthwhile, mostly just as a “cover your own back” exercise.
- After the sit, once the pet is safely back in the owners care and all keys etc. are handed over there is NO need for further communication. If there’s drama, you don’t need to participate! Block and move on.
*As a related story, quite some years ago I had a flatmate who was, let’s say, not the best. At the point when another flatmate and I had arranged we were going to move out, she started sending us a lot of not-great emails. We both set up filters so they weren’t at the top of our inbox, and I set aside time every day to check when I was in good head space. Then I could tell my other flatmate “you can read that one, she’s just talking about finalising the electricity bill” or “don’t read that one, she’s gone on a long rant calling us names, just delete it”. Doing it this way meant we could tie up all the loose ends practically and financially, and preserve a bit of sanity by not engaging with her emotions.
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One of the best pet sits we experienced was with a homeowner who had previously received a four-star review from a fellow sitter. However, this homeowner genuinely embraced the feedback provided, making significant adjustments to their pet care routine, enhancing communication practices, and promptly addressing any concerns raised by previous sitters. It’s important to recognize that feedback is a valuable tool for improvement, and what truly matters is how one responds to it, demonstrating a commitment to providing optimal care for the pets involved.
I appreciate your honesty and bravery in awarding this homeowner a four-star rating in a specific sub-category. However, I must respectfully disagree with the overall five-star rating, especially when its “just to be nice”. In reality, this sit definitely does not meet the criteria for a five-star rating and like a lot of members have pointed out it violates the THS’s T&C. It seems we may still be influenced by the traditional mindset of automatically awarding five stars, regardless of the actual experience. Hopefully, this perspective will evolve over time, though it still remains prevalent.
This reminds me that recently, there was a discussion in a forum where a sitter voiced concerns about certain aspects of a sit, receiving considerable support and compassion from the community ( over 80+ posts) What many members overlooked was that the same sitter had rated the problematic sit with five stars. It’s essential to move away from fixating on minor discrepancies in star ratings and instead prioritize what’s truly beneficial for both the pets wellbeing and the community as a whole.
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You did the right thing. Would you have felt better lying and causing future sitters suffering and stress? Don’t feel bad succumbing to what amounts to emotional blackmail.
I know a sitter who faced with a fraction of what you put up with gave the HO notice that they were leaving the sit, and told them to return home or get a replacement sitter.
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ooof, that’s hard. I can understand your husband being upset at being the recipient of flack from the HO for a review he didn’t write and would have chosen to write differently - but that’s really something for the two of you to manage in future sits, and kind of a separate issue than THS.
I’m glad you left an honest review about what happened - it’s unfortunate that the HO can’t see the benefit of real feedback.
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I agree with your approach. 5 stars loses its meaning when everyone gives and expects it. 5 = outstanding, 4= great, 3= average, 2= bad, 1 = horrible. It’s like how so many people rate hotels and restaurants as 5 stars, and then there’s no way to recognize truly exceptional services. That’s why I don’t trust Yelp. TH could help people move to a more realistic rating system by putting these definitions on stars, so if you hover over a star, the definition pops up. 5 should not be the norm. Not everyone deserves an “A”.
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Omg! I am glad you did what you did! I just did a sit, that was overall fine, that the HO did not communicate some of the issues the pet had, the feeding times, the amount of walks required, and the 3 flights of stairs to carry the dog up and down. I knew about the carry thing. Just not how many times a day or how dangerously steep the steps were.
Also her house wasn’t exactly as clean and today as pictured. I left it better!
I did tell her I thought she could improve her “responsibility “ section of her profile to include these things. But like you, gave 5 stars. She agreed and thanked me for letting her know.
We definitely need to be honest. We need to look out for other sitters. I may have passed on this had I been aware.
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You did the right thing. You were honest and respectful and that is the only way to go if the review system is to have any meaning. Well done,
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As a homeowner I feel the most important part of the relationship we build with our sitters is trust. I would say the HO broke that trust and you were right to point it out.
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You should have never given that sit a 5! As sitters and HOs, we need to be honest and not get upset if we don’t get a 5. Being truthful is the best.
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I think you did the right thing to warn future sitters, and if anything were overly kind in giving 5* but I understand since I’m currently in the same position—struggling over a review that was our first miserable experience. Please don’t feel badly. The HO should take your advice to heart and be grateful you didn’t give 2-3*.
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If we as sitters do not provide honest feedback, the behavior of home owners will get worse.
Over the last year I’m seeing a trend going on here. Folks are afraid of hurting HOs with honest reviews; probably for fear of getting a bad review in retaliation. I depend on honest reviews before I ever accept a sit. Please, please do your very best to provide honest and constructive reviews.
Regarding the way you handled your situation, I thought it was done very eloquently. The HO was irresponsible and rude. Too bad if she doesn’t like being called out on her behavior.
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It’s our whole 5-star rating culture that’s the problem, unfortunately. Having worked in the gig industry for a bit, you are just living in fear of that 4-star review. People start to assume that 4.8 or 4.9 means something is off when your profile is floating in a sea of other 5-stars. I wish there was a way to give extra kudos to the housesits that really deserve it.
Interestingly, we recently traveled to Japan, and the reviews there are vicious, like in a delightfully honest way. It’s understood that anything above 4 stars is a recommended place and 3-4 stars is still decent.
Maybe THS could change the labeling to “disappointing/okay/good/great/stellar” and subdivide into “our experience” and “how we think it might be for others” …but that all starts to get overly complicated. At the end of the day, without a major change in ratings culture, I think the written words of the review (and reading between the lines) are realistically going to be the most meaningful.
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You totally did the right thing. If anything I would be more annoyed at having to clear up an incontinent animal if I hadn’t been forewarned and this needs mentioning in the HO listing unless it was a one off. This HO is clearly not right. Speaking from personal experience about having adult relatives in the house when you get there, it’s really stressful. Lots of people advised me to just leave the sit when I posted on here but it’s not straightforward is it. I feel your stress 
. I think your husband is being a little harsh on you. You have very nicely days that other sitters should check with her. It sounded like you have it far many more stars than it really should have got.
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It’s true, I never wanted astar system. It’s really difficult on a number of levels. As you say anything but 5 is seen as inadequate and so people feel pressured to leave 5 and as a sitter you don’t know what is fantastic and what is average or on this case well below par. I must admit if it’s a sit I want to go back to I would probably always rate it 5 on everything as people do get peeved at you if you don’t 
.
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@kikitomato of course you ate right but HOs can read previous revies and if you write something is average they may be less inclined to have you plus if you want to go back somewhere it always has to be 5 stars (which is often the case to be fair :-). It’s difficult as I had a great sit recently but the owner was crap at communicating and despite lots of texts etc my end I still didn’t know where I was going quite close to the date and I had to figure a lot of things out once I was there. I did give this a 4 star and I do wonder if that will influence if I am invited back…
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I have been sitting on THS for about a year now and have completed over 20, and have left 20 very detailed reviews. From my experience reviewing reviews by both HO and sitters, detailed reviews are very rare, which is one gripe I have with THS. Many reviews are basic, generic, and not based on honesty. My belief is that most approach reviews, like your spouse and stray away from being honest, which is often misleading for both parties. If we’re all like great sit and great sitter, there’s no reason to improve, as both will continue believing that what they’re doing is the standard.
As a sitter, I stay away from HO profiles with too many sits that don’t leave a review, as I interpret this as the sitter having nothing nice to say. I also read what the sitter has written regarding their previous HO, so I can compare.
Also, related to your #1 issue, I’m noticing that many HO prefer the sitter to arrive a day prior for several reasons: ensuring that the sitter is present before they depart and gives the HO an opportunity to meet the sitter in person. I’m fine with this as long as it is communicated beforehand and accommodations are provided. Related to your #2 issue, that’s a no go for me and grounds to end the sit early, which I would also report to THS. Both issues would be mentioned in the review. Issues #3 and #4 are very common and correlated, which is probably why the prior sitters didn’t mention many issues in the prior reviews. I once had a HO chat with me for over an hour about issues with prior sitters, I had a sit were a fostered puppy refused to do their doggy business outside, and have sat for senior dogs who needed diapers - all went in the review and was worded professionally.
Good luck!
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I would give an honest review and discribe the situation as to warn other sitters what to expect