OK, I am just rattled and need to know this too shall pass…
We’ve done more than 20 sits but not all on THS, so 15 on here, all 5 star and not all perfect but nothing that has shaken me like this.
Now I really understand why people are so afraid to leave truthful reviews/feedback!
Thankfully, because of the blind review system I was able to be more truthful than I ordinarily would have been (I’m sorry to say, but now this experience has reinforced why that was even more true before).
There was no way this last sit was a 5 star, though their previous 4 reviews were. TBH, in some ways this was a 3 star but the dog was stellar so it made up for a lot.
What’s really rattling was that we were very gracious and diplomatic in our reason for the less than 5 star review. We even left out the worst of it, Simply stating that if tidiness was important to you, perhaps this isn’t the right sit for you. But that was gentle. I won’t go into detail but ordinarily this would have been a hard pass had we seen the place before applying (the few photos did not show reality). We had many good things to say - 2 paragraphs of good things.
What we received in response was a very angry text insisting we remove our review! And making insinuations of crazy accusations that are fabricated and skewed. We are shocked. We had had a really good rapport with the HO.
When I say we left out some details, I mean we’re talking something that warrants 3 stars (flea bites and not just a few). But again, the dog was awesome and the HO seemed chill and generous (just very untidy and zero written information). Now the HO is freaking out over the 4 star review and sending very angry texts.
I expect a rebuttal to our review - and a nasty one.
I hate conflict!! We are extremely conscientious people - we left the place way way cleaner than we found it (I spent a day cleaning, mopping and doing laundry - including the HOs dirty laundry left on the floor when we arrived and then it was very clean at the end of the sit - HO even commented on it).
I struggled to be truthful in our review because I was nervous for exactly this reason but it would be entirely unfair to leave a 5 star review and mislead future applicants.
The HO has the audacity to call our review fake!! The only fake thing about it is we left out more negative details (like all the laundry that had to be done bc of fleas)!
In the end, we tried to explain that this will weed out potential applicants that expect a tidy home. The goal, after all, is the right match. They need someone who doesn’t really care about tidiness. No matter, HO continues sending angry, accusatory and off topic messages. Like, scary.
This has me so unnerved that I’m nervous about what kind of retaliation they are ticked off enough to try.
For once that I was actually brave enough to leave an honest review (polite and gentle at that). So frustrating.
In the future, we will be taking photos of anything we encounter that would warrant a less than 5 star review to protect ourselves.
I hate the idea of the battle of “he said, she said” when there’s no way to prove much of anything. How would anyone know whose story is accurate?
So sad that it has come to this. Am hoping this is an anomaly as we go forward.
This is going to rattle me for a long while.
@carpediem16 I feel your pain, and your anger. But honestly, with 15 5* reviews and just one negative being from this person, I’m almost certain any future HO’s will clearly see who is telling porkie pies (slang for lies). It won’t be you.
I had a recent incident with a HO, not about a review and not on TH, but she also sent not so nice messages. I completely ignored her messages and felt good for it. Actually felt sorry for her and her ignorance of the issue.
At the end of the day, you know the facts and anyone reading your review will no doubt see them to, so I would simply ignore any further messages and move forward. You never win in these situations and nor should you involve yourself in such a game. Don’t worry, you will come out smelling like roses and the other party will end up smelling like
Ignore and hold your head high for taking a stand with an honest review. If you hadn’t, this same situation would happen for the next unsuspecting sitter
@ziggy
Well, thankfully because the reviews are now blind, the HO left us a 5 star review - which was indeed fair (not meaning to gloat).
It is the response to our 4 star review that has me shaken. The HO hasn’t posted a rebuttal yet but am bracing myself.
Thank you for your encouragement.
These kinds of things unsettle me bc we strive for integrity and trustworthiness.
But I also hate conflict.
I have blocked the HO from messaging me but the last few messages were very unkind and name-calling. Shouldn’t sting so much but it does.
I’ve had this a couple of times, where I’ve arrived to an untidy and dirty house. On both occasions it was couples with young children and I think the parents just don’t see the mess because they’re so used to it. I didn’t give either a review but tend to avoid homes with young children now.
That’s so sad that you are going thru this—deep down the HO doesn’t seem to have any genuine appreciation of your efforts in taking good care of their dog and picking up their dirty laundry (yuck!).
If I were to check out their listing and read their positive review to you, your honest feedback and the possible nasty rebuttal response they might write, it’d be blatantly clear to me that they have written the latter for revenge. It’d be clear as day that they had a high opinion on how well you did, and it’s only after reading yours that they felt they needed to defend themselves. This is a perfect example as of why the blind review system is a positive thing.
Smart people reading all of this would understand the dynamics and would realize that, thankfully, you were able to be diplomatically sincere, and that they simply can’t stand that someone exposed their poor house keeping practices.
You also did the right thing blocking them.
I’m wondering if their sending you nasty messages should be reported to THS.
@Elsa1
We tried having a calm, mature exchange bc we were shocked by the reaction - when it just escalated we did block. It was just sad bc there had been a good rapport until that point. The 4 star review just pushed this person over the edge into a different person.
If the msgs were abusive, I’d suggest contacting membership services and seeing whether they can warn the host and/or note in their file. That way, if a pattern emerges, maybe they can be kicked off THS. It helps to have written msgs to point to.
I am very sorry that this happened to you. If owners are unreasonable and send nasty messages after a sit, the best thing is to block them. Yes, things can get very ugly when one party leaves a less than 5 star review.
It happened to me once. I blocked them. They left me a 3 star review and a horrible reply to my review on their profile. One person I applied to afterwards, rejected my application and said it was because of this. (Others still accept me though, because all my other reviews are 5 stars.) Sadly there seems to be very little protection from THS against this kind of thing.
I had three other less than good experiences and didn’t leave a review for them. Anyone who thinks badly of me for this, please feel free to disapprove, but the battle I went through once impacted my mental health and I don’t need that in my life.
I’m so sorry you went through that.
It’s so bizarre and uncomfortable when someone’s behavior towards you suddenly changes radically.
It sounds like you handled the whole thing with gentleness and integrity. Good for you!
I am sorry that this happened. I would be upset as well.
I understand that in many ways, cleanliness is subjective. But in many other ways, it kind of isn’t and I think some houses clearly cross that line into objectively dirty no matter the standard someone may have. Leaving dirty laundry on the floor when someone else is coming to stay in your home is objectively ‘unclean’ to me. And it sounds like there were other elements that were on par with that.
I know it must be hard to review sits where the home is really not clean. Even now with the ability to leave reviews without worrying how your feedback will affect what the other party will say about you, I think there is still that issue of feeling badly saying anything negative about the experience.
I think it can be harder to leave this unbiased feedback in the realm of housesitting compared to AirBnB where you might not ever even meet the person from whom you are renting, where there is no personal relationship of any kind. That is a pure transaction between a customer and a service provider.
But when you have a home that most reasonable people would find very unclean, it really does need to be mentioned. If the HO is truly unaware of how their house looks, then they should know that and they can improve for the future.
And if they are aware but just think it doesn’t matter and feel no need to create a clean space for the sitter, they have to know that it is important. And if they have no interest in improving on that, they shouldn’t be hosting people.
While someone doesn’t need to have a home worthy of being on the cover of Architectural Digest to list it on the site, I do think that some homes are not appropriate for this service because regardless of someone else’s standard of cleanliness, they probably don’t want to deal with someone else’s dirt and grime.
But your experience is an example of how ultimately, this review system is probably best though I am sure it will cause plenty of problems in its own right–no perfect system. You got a good review because you deserved it and what the HO said should not be influenced by anything other than their true opinion of your service.
Did you not receive a Welcome Guide or its equivalent at all? This has become my requirement, after being burned in the past. If I don’t receive the Welcome Guide in a timely manner, well ahead of the sit, I will cancel the sit, and I tell them that upfront. I am a homeowner as well, and I send my very detailed Welcome Guide immediately after they agree to my confirmation of the sit.
@KC1102 thank you for that.
I agree it is subjective indeed and am pretty forgiving to a certain level. I’m not OCD (and I know because I have family who are!) but we do want a clean kitchen for preparing meals and a comfortable place to sit and eat those meals.
I think it’s important the HO is upfront bc ultimately if you don’t really care, that’s fine but what is needed is a sitter who doesn’t care either. And that’s the point, right? Finding the right match. Just like a super ultra tidy HO should expect that from a sitter and vice versa. Someone super chill and unbothered by clutter and old food in a fridge that hasn’t been cleaned out in months needs someone like that as well. There’s no right or wrong if you’re good with it - it’s about appropriate expectations.
We were told a housekeeper would be coming before we arrived. Clearly this did not take place (and the dishtowel I used on the makeshift mop I made showed this as well as the vacuum canister after I vacuumed)
So, at the end of the day, it’s OK if you aren’t a tidy person, it’s your home and your right - your match for your sit is out there somewhere! It just isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
What is sad is I think the fear of a truly honest review will continue still. Granted, it’s much better with the blind review, but after this experience I’ll definitely be more timid.
And we were as diplomatic as we could be.
It just sucks that it was met with this over-the-top hostility.
Sorry this happened to you! I take pics of every room and any outside space as soon as I get to a sit…then I do the same as I am leaving…I’ve never had an issue but I’d rather be ready, just in case! (Taking pics when I get there also helps me to return things, like furniture and kitchen cupboards, to their original places before I leave.)
I did a sit a few months back which I have to say, overall went fairly well. Ticks in most of the right boxes!
When the HO arrived back home, she complained to me that her bathroom tiles looked different and not in a good way.
I explained that I always take photographs before leaving the property as evidence of how clean and tidy I’ve left it. I sent her the picture of the bathroom that I’d taken right before I left where the tiles were clearly visible and looking perfectly fine. I messaged and asked her to specify the exact issue with them.
I saw that she’d read my message on WhatsApp but she took quite a long time to get back to me. When she did finally get back, it was suddenly a complete tune change of, “oh don’t worry. It’s no big deal.”
I don’t think she’d expected me to have taken photographs and she backed right off. I always always make sure I cover myself with photographs of each room just in case of an unjust accusation.
@btee@Chatsetchiens - thanks, we’ll be doing that from now on. I, too, take photos of cupboards and any space I need to remember where things were when we arrived for longer sits. Now we’ll be taking other kinds of photos for issues like this one.
That’s a great strategy going forwards. Whilst it might be something else to think about doing along with all the other tasks we have to do, I do find it really is worth it. Mainly even just for the peace of mind of knowing that the photographic evidence always speaks for itself.
