There was no mention of the use of their car. My husband asked if we bring out e-bikes with, could we store them in their garage. He said yes they could leave their vehicle outside. That’s all that was mentioned about their vehicle.
I’m needing a polite way to respond to him!
There was no mention of the use of the car. Just basically what I said.
I need a polite way to respond!
Their vehicle was only mentioned when my husband asked if we brought our e-bikes with, can we store them in the garage. He said yes he could move his vehicle outside. No mention of use of their vehicle.
I also said we would like to come back ahead of sit to get a full tour of house, since we didn’t at all when there. He said sure and could even give us a boat ride that day. So it’s desirable but yet felt he was rude.
Looking for a polite way to answer.
Agree. It’s desirable for sure. I guess I’m looking for a polite way to ask if we are using their vehicle or ours. Idk I’m on the fence on this one on what to do!!
Even if you are willing to proceed with the sit you can say so but you are uncomfortable about the airport transfers and they should feel free to carry on the search for a sitter who is willing.
If you accept the sit after that I personally would feel there is a tension. I would rather withdraw my interest but you should do what you feel is best for your circumstances.
Do come back and let us know how it goes.
Why don’t you message them and say something like “Thanks for your driving request. Are we to assume that lending us a car is part of the sit as it would not be normal for a sitter to drive hosts to the airport otherwise? Please confirm and we can decide if we are able to proceed. Many thanks.” You take back a bit of control that way and politely restate this is a mutual exchange. You can always cancel after that if you don’t like the response. #itsgoodtotalk
No mention of whose vehicle, I’m assuming ours!
Just decide what you’d like the final outcome of the correspondence to be and work backwards from there! Or ask AI to craft a response for you. Sometimes just being straightforward about things is the best way to approach the situation - and I say this as a (mostly) polite Brit!
Another thing to consider @Ybrik where is the dog walked ? Some of the sitters on this forum found out unexpectedly (when already on the sit )that the host expected them to transport the dog to a dog park daily in their own vehicle at their own expense .
Many times, when the HO is allowing me to use their car - often do airport swaps at the end of the sit and occasionally at the beginning. Park the car, hide the keys, send a picture of the location. Once did the swap at the ferry landing for a sit on 1 of the islands near Seattle.
A word of caution for end of sit swaps. The first time I did that was at LAX and there were absolutely no spaces at the on-airport or even near airport lots. I was able to persuade someone to let me into one of the off-airport lots by assuring the attendant that the car would only be there for 4 hours. I had to give him the phone number of the HO so if she was late, he could call her. Current sit is school spring break time in Minnesota so airport lots are very full. The HO made and prepaid a reservation at the lot she normally uses.
When I got to my current sit, she asked me to take her to the airport, in my car, no compensation. I got there the night before, early flight. I felt awkward, was already on the sit, it was 3 weeks, while I was heading from LA to Toronto, so I did it, but I was annoyed. It wasn’t a far trip, but just felt used. In over 40 sits, never has an HO asked me to drive her to the airport in my car, or in their car. They make their own arrangements. But, on my last sit, I got to Orange County for a sit and realized I had my daughter’s wallet in my purse. The HOs offered to drive out of their way to drop it off, since they were heading in that direction. She is at USC in central LA. I was so appreciative. Didn’t ask, they offered. It turned out to be easy peasy for them, they went to basketball games on campus, she was on the street corner waiting and they got back on the expressway. So I guess I could have looked upon it as karma going forward, but I was annoyed.
Also, I was travelling cross country with all my stuff, winter stuff, summer stuff, my household items that I carry, plus a few cases I wine I was taking back from deals in CA. I had to unload in order for her to put her suitcases in,
That happened to me on my second sit. Never discussed in the video chat. Second sit. Luckily I had room. Now, I have no room.
I think you’re over thinking how to ask politely. Just say you need clarification as to whose car you’d be driving before you can agree to their request. No need at all to wrap it up or pussyfoot around. You need to be direct.
Does this answer (your car or theirs) actually make a difference on if you continue with confirmation? If not, and you will accept either way then move forward. If their is a “right answer” in your mind on what it takes for you to confirm the sit, then I would be polite and direct, something like:
(you WANT it to be their car, period, non negotiable) “We are happy to take you to the airport if you’re kind enough to let us use your car. Does that work for you?”
(you WANT it to be your car, period, non negotiable) “We are happy to take you to the airport using our car, does that work for you?”
If you do not want to handle the return airport trip ALSO, best get that out of the way NOW rather than later, this HO sounds super entitled, its mind boggling (I am a HO).
“While we are happy to get you to the airport as part of caring for your amazing doggo and house, we would really appreciate you making alternate plans for the return home from the airport. Let me know if that sounds fair”.
I will add that I TOO would already have resentment for these peeps, but if you want the sit, work out a plan to make it happen. Once they are out of your hair and gone on their trip, forget about it and enjoy the sit! (of course sticking to the agreed upon updates).
Let us know what you decide and Good Luck!
@Ybrik From your responses, it sounds like you are bringing your own car to the sit and not using the HOs car during the sit. So, I expect you would be using your car for the airport runs since use of their car is not part of the sit.
Personally, I would withdraw. Airport dropoff/pickup is something that can be discussed, not dictated. As others have mentioned, it’s more common if the HO is allowing use of their car for the duration of the sit. Since you will have your own car, you don’t need use of their car. The way the HO has added it on as a condition of the sit rather than a request would bother me.
Great responses! Thank you. I guess I’m just still flabbergasted at how direct he was on the airport transfers without even asking if we could do that! I want to make it clear in a nice way that ubering shouldn’t be expected from sitters!
I think I’m just too nice of a person lol
Agree but that’s hard for me lol
@Ybrik There are many variables, most already mentioned. I’ve seen that he has not offered use of his car but has offered a boat ride, which is pretty nice, yes, if he follows through. I’ve never once on any sit I’ve done in the last 25 years had anyone say that my transporting them to the airport was a necessity, every HO has either had a car pick them up or taken the train, or driven their own car to the airport and parked it there, even a month-long sit. I’d take into consideration every aspect of the sit - how labour-intensive it will be, with regard to pets and any gardening, etc, the location of the sit and how desirable that might be, and how attractive and comfortable their home is. Expecting you to travel to his home early am of his departure so you can get him to the airport on time is sounding a bit demanding, he could and should at least offer you to stay the night before, at the very least. Also to consider is the time it will take round-trip for both parts of his trip, the early morning will likely be quick and easy but the 4:45 pm pickup sounds like it could be very painful if it’s in an area that sees a lot of traffic.
A polite way of responding in order to find out if you’d be using his car and if you’ll have use of his car could be - “Regarding transporting you to and from the airport, would that be using your car to do that with, or should we plan to use our own vehicle for doing that? I ask this as we’ve never had a homeowner make this type of request so it’s unfamiliar sit-terrain!” And see how the convo goes from there. Make sure everything is in writing, I’m finding that there are some HO’s out there who prefer to discuss certain things via voice because they don’t want anything in writing!
I have only done this when loaned the owners’ car, which is fair enough. I would definitely balk if they expected me to use my own car!
If being direct is hard for you, that makes it more likely that an entitled host can push boundaries as a sit unfolds.
If you do go forward with the sit, you might want to use it as a low-stakes opportunity to build skills such as speaking directly and setting and upholding boundaries. People who have a hard time doing such tend to end up being taken advantage of in life, not just in sitting.