HO unhappy that i didn’t leave house as i found it

It was I who got marked down for not running an empty dishwasher I didn’t even know existed. (Just after (for the first time ever) being marked down for not cleaning rooms I didn´t even set my foot in). I find a system where reviews are used as a weapon way too stressful to enjoy the sit, and I even began to dread the end of it.
What’s the solution? Well, I’m working on growing a thicker skin (clearly, I missed that memo) and adding a disclaimer to my profile: If you’re looking for a cleaner, I’m not your person

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@CuriousCat sounds like you’ve decided what is best for you and yours.

And that’s what we all do when “applying” or “screening” for sits as well.

To me, it’s not binary — I sit and often piggyback stays at hotels so I can be entirely free. But anyone who wants all their time free should’ve never signed up for THS to begin with. That’s already a dealbreaker from the start, so all else about cleaning, reviews, etc., doesn’t even matter.

If cleaning is the hangup, you could hire a cleaner for less than most hotel stays.

Anyone who signs up to care for pets should expect to give up some time and enjoy spending time with them.

Sounds like maybe you were just looking for free accommodations. For folks like that, maybe do just house swapping. There are sites for that, if you have a place that others would want to swap for. But even those have reviews, as does Airbnb.

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I’ve thought about having the discussion and adding to my profile. But my guess is, in the environment now created by the site, this would be frowned upon, and in general would create a negative impression. So we would then waste our time applying for sits and not getting accepted.

It really doesn’t matter if most HOs are fine. Of course we would clean up after ourselves. Because the few that could ruin whatever length of time you put into this site – actually ruin the experience for every sit. The site could control that by having more fairness to HSs built into the system, and emphasizing pets not house cleaning. The focus should be the pets

Let’s put it another way – you aren’t just watching pets. You are dealing with random humans. That will include a few who are totally unreasonable (many of those you can tell just by reading truly incredible expectations in their listings, of course those can be avoided – but some will not be clear by listings).

I have a friend who had a friend years ago who did pet sitting for very nice houses, around the world. She made a lot of money doing that work. He was offended when he realized that HOs on this site expected free. And she did nothing but pet sitting. Pet sitters have undermined their own value.

Would you clean a really nice house in exchange for living there for free? Like board but no salary? No, I don’t think most people would.

So pet sitting should be the only expectation.

I truly hope pet sitters will at least avoid the listings where the listed expectations are crazy. I read one yesterday saying one of 3 pets (2 dogs, one cat) needs home cooked meals every night, special treats at special times, the other needs a 1-3 mile walk twice a day, and truly a bunch of other stuff I can’t even remember. Like are you kidding??!! We do a lot of things for our cats. But I wouldn’t expect a pet sitter to spend that amount of time. My biggest concern is that they get food and water and someone making sure they don’t have a medical or safety issue. It would be a bonus if they would also like the person, and vice versa, and therefore get some kind of attention.

Another favorite are those people who say that they don’t want you to leave the house, or only leave for 4 hours. Like do you think just sitting in your beautiful house is enough to make me want to come there? Like no thanks.

Anyway, some people clearly love it. I’m sure we will not be renewing our HS side membership. I’m on the fence about whether to become a HO because I don’t like the way this site, overall, would make a HS feel.

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I just had a sit where I thought the expectation about cleaning was over the top. I got 4 stars because - I think that was the reason - I didn’t empty the hoover bags and 2 rooms were not hoovered. There might have been a forgotten plate in the fridge too. Otherwise it was totally spotless when we left. It was 2 of us sitting and cleaning and I’m usually on my own. Still I mostly get 5 stars. I find clean freaks a bit scary and pet owners who expect cleaning perfection are not my cup of tea. With that sit, I accepted quickly without a video call because I loved the location. It was still a great sit and I had a wonderful time.

For me, the good still outweighs the bad by far.

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@CuriousCat - I have all 5-star ratings as a sitter. And all HOs have mentioned how clean I have left their home etc. However, for very similar reasons to yourself, I am seriously considering letting my membership lapse. I am getting fed up of it feeling like a job that no longer seems like an equal exchange. And the pressure to keep up the 5-star reviews is something that is getting tedious for me - despite the fact I love spending time with the pets. (Someone earlier talked about reviews getting used as a weapon.)

My membership is up for renewal in October. I would like to have a sit in December. However, it will have to be an amazing assignment for me to even consider taking another one on.

If I see nothing that appeals to me, by the time my membership is up for renewal, I will let my membership lapse - and take a break from THS. I believe we can be inactive for around 2 years, and still have our reviews reactivated.

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It makes sense to leave the site because of how it makes YOU feel. But when it comes to other sitters’ feelings, you aren’t in a place to judge that.

Logically, all of us who stick with sitting wouldn’t do that if we felt as you do. THS is entirely voluntary and if someone doesn’t get what they want from the exchanges, it would only be rational to leave THS.

And all of us sitters are looking at listings — more so with those who sit the most. We screen hosts as well. Some folks are simply better at doing that than others.

Personally, I’ve had no sits involving jerks. If I even get a hint of one while looking at listings or while communicating, it’s easy to say, best wishes, this isn’t a fit for me. Move on. Simple.

If someone gave me a bad review, oh well. I trust that reasonable hosts will take everything — including my other reviews — into consideration. Most hosts aren’t stupid. Unless they’ve lived under rocks, everyone knows people have different expectations and some are unreasonable. Shrug. That’s life.

With sitting, I decide what I’m willing to do vs. not before a sit and wouldn’t put up with awful surprises. If necessary, if that ever happened, I’d give them 24 hours to find someone else and then leave. Like you, I can afford to stay at hotels, so I have options.

To me, it’s common sense to have backup plans, whether someone is a host or sitter. Even with hired sitters, things aren’t necessarily going to go well.

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A possibility: Consider that maybe the pressure you’re feeling is internalized and you might be able to sit without it. Like imagine if you said, I’m going to do whatever I think reasonable and no more and just let reviews unfold as they will. If it turns out you still get good reviews, then you’re golden. If it turns out you get bad reviews, you could still leave the site, which you’re considering anyway.

Personally, I don’t sweat reviews — I clean after myself and no more. I think that’s reasonable of any guest, sitter or otherwise. Yet I keep getting strong reviews from reasonable hosts. One recent review said they’d never seen the house as clean, which I found funny, because they turned it over to me after their cleaning service had been through it. And I didn’t clean anything I didn’t use and dirty, beyond cleaning after the pets.

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@Maggie8K ​Thanks, Maggie. I do appreciate what you are saying here. . . . The cleaning aspect is just one of the reasons I feel jaded with THS: A huge issue for me is the 5-application rule which, from my perspective, has done a lot of damage to sitters and HOs alike. And now, of course, there is a new THS ‘survey’ doing the rounds, with more changes afoot. I, like many members, have not even received this survey. However, based on the information coming from the ‘lucky’ minority on this forum who have been allowed to contribute, I can see where things are headed.

Like many other sitters, I can always book a hotel if I really want to visit an area. However, were I to leave THS, I would certainly miss hanging out with the pets, and spending a longer period of time in a place I have been keen to visit (assuming I have submitted my carefully crafted application on time. Hah!)

One solution would be that if an owner wants to leave anything other than a 5 star review, they be required to provide before and after photos regarding cleaning. And other documentation or photos regarding pet care, then like volunteer moderators, if they could find them, with house sitter and home owner, make the decision. I realize that would take a lot more time, but my guess is that random BS less than 5 star reviews would greatly decline.

Then they also should eliminate cleaning as a separate review category and only focus on pet well-being and care, as far as review categories.

Something like that.

Should go both ways too – in fairness to homeowners – something similar.

Then every review left by the HO or HS should be listed on their profile.

But I appreciate the suggestions. For those who enjoy the site, that’s great. I think speaking out is important so that everyone realizes that not everyone thinks this is paradise.

That all being said, I hope we can find someone trustworthy to watch our pets when the time comes.

The problem with just trying is that you would feel invested and therefore worse if, at whatever point, you were blasted by a bad review.

I disagree. I think you’ve been getting lucky and, at least from what I’ve read on this forum, one bad review and you’ve got problems. That’s especially true for those of us who would never do this full-time anyway.

And it’s not voluntary in the sense that we pay to participate. It’s an expense. So other people considering joining this site need to be aware.

The fact that my extremely chill and very hard-working without ever complaining husband felt the same way, to me speaks volumes. He has no interest in ever doing this again.

Right now, we are literally counting the days for this sit to end. This is no sense whatsoever feels like a vacation.

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@CuriousCat . . . I think your comment here may have been meant for someone else??

Why on earth did you take a sit that didn’t let you be away from the house as much as you wanted and expected you to clean up after yourself.
@CuriousCat

No the pets would be fine. Everything else I think is unreasonable.

I have a question. How would you end a sit with 24 hours notice with let’s say undisclosed responsibilities or other major issues, without risking a bad review? I assume they could still leave a review.

The other thing is that all reviews and replies should be visible to all parties, and I would say even any appeal documentation.

No one could fear needing to provide documentation if they are being fair and reasonable, applying to both HOs and HSs.

And just to take that dishwasher as an example, sometimes we don’t use a dishwasher. Like if we don’t have many dishes. We just wash by hand. The HS wouldn’t be familiar with the normal smell of the home – so very easily might not notice that any “musty” smell was caused by not running the dishwasher. And even if it was – I mean if someone spent a week or two or more watching your home, you would think common courtesy if there were no major issues – would be to let something like that go.

Now if you arrive home and your pet has lost 5-10 pounds or other injury, is lost or gone, or the house is a true mess, then that’s when bad reviews would be justified.

As far as the time, as I said – being locked into the schedule is something we don’t like. But obviously that would come with anything. That would be tolerable if these reviews weren’t sort of our mental focus and concern for the entire stay.

@CuriousCat

There are many ,many , many sits that give you plenty of free time. Most HOs list how long the pets can be left alone.
Pick the ones that work for you.

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We have never done a sit for a review. Not before we joined THS and did house sitting or since joining . We do the sit because we want to be in the location and the responsibilities listed seem like a fair exchange and good match for us . We thoroughly read previous reviews . Then we have a video call to chat over the responsibilities and get to know the owners. We clearly state we’re not gardeners or cleaners and if things don’t seem a good match for us we don’t accept the sit .

We will put up with small issues but do not put up with major issues just for the sake avoiding a negative review . For example we had a situation during a sit where the owners announced that a third party would be arriving to stay over just for one night and we’d hardly see them. We said that if they wanted that person to stay we would leave . We weren’t willing to compromise just for the sake of a good review .

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We are sitting mainly in order to be with the pets because we no longer have our own, also I love the responsibility of a house and garden again (since downsizing)…. it’s actually very enjoyable to stay in a home that requires respect and being taken care of. We’re retired so it’s simply fun for us. I’m not on a sit specifically to please the HOs but I do want to please the pets and ourselves in the bargain. It’s an interesting experience to step into somebody’s homelife for a short while……and gives me time to reflect on life I think and to live differently to normal.
We’re currently on a sit living in a type of property in a location that we very nearly might have bought …. I won’t say more but it’s very interesting seeing what our life might’ve been like if we’d moved here.
There’s so many layers to this house and pet sitting ‘thing’…. I think it’s what you make of it.

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Yes, this is a delicate dilemma: how to deliver a message without offending potential hosts, or coming off as rude. I’ve been contemplating it lately quite a bit, and the picture (hopefully) is getting clearer.

My starting points are:

It’s not what you say but how you say it.

In business, especially in tech, people often assume that higher charges reflect higher quality.

Whatever the “guru” asks for, the “guru” gets.

So, my approach is to present myself as an experienced, confident individual who understands the pros and cons of the business, knows what she is talking about, and therefore knows what to request, and expects hosts to respect those wishes. The intention is to guide, educate, and perhaps even receive some gratitude :smiley: for the “tips and tricks.”

All of this should be communicated in a way that helps hosts understand the intentions rather than perceiving them as demands from a know-it-all.

If all else fails… oh well, so be it. Quite frankly, I don’t care anymore. I’d rather not get accepted, which would be a blessing in disguise as we are not a good match anyway, than have a host leave me stranded on the street because I arrived an hour early to drop off my bags. And then respond nonsensically to my review about not running an empty dishwasher I never used or was asked to run.

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