I wanted to share an experience I’m currently going through that has really tested my patience — and I’d love to hear how others might handle something like this.
To begin with, the homeowners were a kind, retired couple who went out of their way to collect me from the station the night before the sit started, made me dinner, and even brought me a cup of tea in the morning. I appreciated that warm welcome, and I do feel mean for what I’m about to say — but I also don’t think what’s happened since is fair.
From the start, there have been repeated interruptions. The homeowner has continued to contact me with requests that go far beyond caring for their animals and home. I’ve been asked to check the garage, find poles, locate walking leaflets, and give solar panel and gas meter readings — all with long-winded instructions.
I put my foot down when I was asked to look under a bed in another room for things in boxes. I replied that I wasn’t comfortable going through other people’s belongings and suggested they send a friend instead. They understood and arranged for someone to come today. But now I’ve received another text saying that person didn’t find what was needed — and that they’ll be coming back again tomorrow.
The message ended with, “Hope you are having a good stay apart from all my interruptions,” which honestly didn’t land well — because no, I’m not having a good stay. The animals are adorable, and they’re the only thing keeping me grounded, but this constant contact and the expectation to keep accommodating their disorganisation has left me feeling taken advantage of.
So where do we draw the line? I value being respectful, helpful to a point, and responsible — but I also value boundaries and peace, which I feel have been pushed too far here. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing, and if so, how did you handle it?
We had something similar on a recent sit when a house sale was held up and the docs the HO needed were probably with us in the house in a different country plus they were on a cruise in the middle of an ocean. We had to rifle boxes and send lots of pics, ditto meter readings and payments for electric and water whilst they were gone. One of the HOs is a worrier, they’re also older and he always has a list to go through but hey, that’s his style. Our take on it is that they must really trust & like you to ask you for these extra bits and like @oztravels they’re small inconveniences that take a few minutes. Would rather help solve it ourselves than have a neighbour come in the home. #itsyourcall
I agree, solve it yourself without a neighbor coming in. Now it’s going to be our neighbor needs to come in again on Thursday, when will you be home to let him in.
I’d see those all of those things as quite normal requests, but it depends on how long you are there for, and what the position of the owners is.
We sit for a number of people who have multiple homes, rather than those just holiday-ing for 2 weeks, and so quite often they have responsibilities that need to be taken care of, so if that’s the case in your situation, in future only accept sits where you know they owners are off on holiday only.
None of things you’ve mentioned would be out-of-ordinary from our experiences, but that could just be down to the type of people we typically sit for.
They sound like a lovely couple, and it sounds like you appreciate how kind they are, so that’s the main thing.
Thank you all — I am coming to the end of a 3 week sit and I do see where you’re coming from, and I truly appreciate your thoughtful responses. I always go out of my way to help wherever I can on every sit, and maybe I am being a little over-sensitive this time. I think I just hit a limit I didn’t expect, and needed to air it out. Hearing other perspectives definitely helps put things in balance.
During both the application process and handoff, I state that I will send all of my updates and non emergency questions during 6-9pm local time and that is also the time I will be looking for their messages and questions as well. It goes something like “I want you to truly enjoy your vacation instead of checking your phone all day for my messages. All of my updates and questions to you will come between 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. local time and that’s when I will also be looking for your messages because frankly during the day I’m very busy homeschooling my children and taking care of your pets”.
I see how that is annoying on a 3 week sit. I think sometimes owners believe that sitters are literally “surrogate owners” in their absence and should be willing to pretty much do any task that the owner would have done if they were home.
We have done 30-40 sits (many of them not on THS) and have never had this happen. I try to avoid owners who seem disorganized or entitled in any way.
Thank you and @PVGemini for your thoughtful replies — I really appreciate the understanding. Yes, it’s the build-up of small things and the feeling of being treated more like a P.A. than a sitter that got to me. I always want to be helpful and accommodating, but I think I just hit my limit this time. Your words helped me feel less alone with it, so thank you.
If it helps, it is probably NOT personal. The homeowner is older, maybe a little disorganized and for some reason needs stuff. I live in a community with a lot of helpful neighbors and retired people. I try to do my part. During a recent housesit, I was on vacation but noticed a message in my building google group that someone needed a handtruck. I have a handtruck. I know that several people in the group know I have a handtruck. I know the person who needed the handtruck. She once cat sat for me and might remember that I have a handtruck as it is kept in the corner on my terrace. So I felt a need to own up to the handtruck and let my sitter know that someone would work out with her a good time to pick up the handtruck. I debated whether I should ignore the request since it might disturb the sitter, but I realized the neighbor could get it at the sitter’s convenience and wouldn’t be returning it till after we got home.
I would do it, but like you it would eventually get on my nerves. I did a sit that was 4 days last year, and every day they had packages delivered that were left on the doorstep and needed bringing in. Might not sound like much but it was a flat so up and down some stairs, then one package said it had been delivered when it hadn’t so I had to investigate. I felt like their personal package person getting constant texts from them about package after package and wondered why they couldn’t have ordered them for when they were there.
I think we’re there to look after the pets and if something else pops up, fair enough. But we’re not an on call personal assistant. I have ADHD though, and wonder if you’re also neurodivergent? these things probably stress us out a bit more than neurotypicals because interruptions can be more stressful and throw you off your day easier
Honestly and I am going to be brutally honest here - the problem I see is regular sitters and those that rely on THS or do this regularly are adding to the weight of other sitters by being willing to oblige any little “extra” favour for a five-star review. Do not listen to them. The contract is clear: you get a great time at a lovely clean home without visitors allowed and no requirement to do free work beyond pet sitting and some light garden care (meaning no mowing the lawn for free or any of the tasks you list!). The rest is not your business and should not be your responsibility unless you don’t set that boundary before confirming the sit. Whatever they asked you to do can be and should be done when they are not on holiday. I have a form every owner must fill in now and it clearly states what their do-to-list is and what is my agreed task list, including a statement that we are not in a employment relationship and all tasks outside free pet care, light garden care and what is openly discussed prior to the sit - is to be paid for. This occurred after way too many sits of the nature you describe where you end up being the “hired help” for additional work - without pay. I said no more to that. The great owners get it. The entitled ones just move on to find someone willing to be their free slave. It is your responsibility where you draw that line. You are well within your right to advise them - albeit kindly - these are not tasks within the contract with THS and perhaps it’s best to attend to them after the sit, but you are more than happy to continue to provide free pet care, included in your agreement.
This is such a great idea! I just had a sit where the HOs were in a very different time zone and I ended up not sending many updates because I didn’t want to wake them in the middle of the night (and they didn’t want to turn off the phone in case there was a true emergency). I will definitely set “messaging times” for my next sit.
