I must admit that I didn’t quite expect the clear distinction that most people are making between tidying and cleaning, which everyone (at least hosts) agrees they don’t mind.
I am not sure if perhaps we are considering two different scenarios here. I don’t think I was clear enough in my original post that I have never disrespected the owner’s choice of organization even if that seems lack of organization.
Being an overthinker, I have been revising in my mind the two sits that I gave as examples of me doing a bit of tidying.
The kitchen drawer got jammed when I opened it to get a tea towel, there was no way I could have closed it again without emptying it and catching the grater that had got stuck at the back, blocking two drawers. After reading @Felinelover and @Lassie clear answers, I am seriously considering to change my approach and if it it happened again, try and leave it as close to the original state as possible, without risking it to get jammed again.
The other sit I was referring to was a case where a hostess said that she was very tired, still had things to do and they had an early morning start. I offered my help. That meant that I had to hang up to dry a washing machine load and wash another load. The load that was running when we went to bed was beyond anything I had seen before (or after, luckily) there was a mixture of all colors, types of fabric and, what’s worse, type of items. They included underwear, dresses, kitchen cloths and pets stuff, including cloths they used to wipe dogs’ pee from the floor. I didn’t know where anything was supposed to be placed and I had no intention to start opening drawers or doors. There were items scattered all around everywhere except my room. I folded neatly all the items that had been washed and, at the end of my stay I left everything on top of my bed.
In the review, they said that I left everything clean and tidy but that could only apply to my room. There rest was beyond hope.
Thanks for clarifying, @Newpetlover . I did have some doubt about how this thread was going to go when I saw it (and have thus kept my nose out, up to this point!)
I think this is such a subjective and personal case-by-case question, it would be hard to definitively set any general rules over it. I use my best judgement based on how the house is when I found it, what I need to be able to find/access/use while I’m on site, and how well I feel I’ve “clicked” with the host. I would say that if I do err, it’s probably on the side of over-cleaning/tidying, with an occasional bit of “organizing” if I can’t find things I need and it’s clear they don’t have a system of any kind. In those cases it’s more a matter of neatening how things are lined up within that same cupboard, so they’re easier to locate & can be gotten to.
Whatever I do, I do it with the best of intentions; I try not to be critical of the homeowner just because they don’t do things “my way,” and I don’t dock them stars for cleanliness in those cases. I hope they see it as a kindness or a bonus that saves them some time or makes their life a little easier in some way. So far, I’ve never received a criticism for it; most people thank me either personally or in their review for leaving things clean/cleaner than I found them, so I guess I haven’t crossed “that line” yet, and I’ll continue to try to keep it that way to the best of my ability.
I think we should just all try to remember that for the most part, people are doing things with good intentions, and maybe in this scenario at least, that’s the most important thing.
That’s a huge violation of privacy and autonomy. imagine if someone rearranged your kitchen. How would you feel? And it would create a lot of work to put it all back as you like it.
I get “she left it cleaner than she found it” reviews but I have had HOs a little annoyed that I misplaced something in the kitchen while putting clean items away and they couldn’t find it. And that’s just one item and it was an accident.
Well I was convinced that was my case too. Until now. But I can’t be sure.
Judging by the many posts I have read written by @Felinelover, I really don’t think I would find a situation in her home that can be compared to the ones I have described but, let’s imagine I had sat for her and I had folded her imaginary jumbled tea towels, I would have never known but I would have caused her some irritation, even if minor. I I would like to prevent that.
That’s why I decided to open this thread, because there are all kinds of opinions and it helps to explore other angles that might not occur to me.
I learned here to ask if they would mind if I washed the linen before I left. To date, I have always done so even though most hosts say “you don’t have to”. I always thought they were just being helpful and polite but I thought they would not mind. Someone in the forum said they prefer to do the laundry themselves because they are very particular about it. So now I have reformulated my question.
It wouldn’t bother me if you reorganized one drawer in my kitchen. It would bother me if you reorganized every drawer and switched things from one drawer to another. I don’t mean if you put the garlic press in a different drawer to the one I use. I don’t expect sitters to remember where everything goes. I mean if you put all my cutlery in the drawer where I normally keep the dish towels, for example.
In your scenario, I wouldn’t worry about folding tea towels that were all crumpled.
Your concern is really admirable. But I wouldn’t really let it trouble you too much - if your instinct is to fold the towels and you do so, and forget to crumple them again (LOL) I may have a half a minute of mmmm, wish they hadn’t done that but really I’m a big girls and can handle it What you describe is so minor, as are the cases where a spatula gets put in the wrong drawer by mistake. It happens and it’s part of life, really. Mo one can go through life without unintentionally ruffling some feathers on occasion. I would be mildly irritated but then the rational side of my brain would kick in and say well it wasn’t unreasonable to fold them and the sitter was probably trying to be helpful. We are all just doing the best we can
That’s great. So am I. At least, generally speaking.
When feedback is judgmental or regarding some private matters that nobody has mentioned, then that is inappropriate.
My husband is always trying to reorganise our food cupboards- it drives me nuts as he files everything according to some weird ‘retired engineer’ system only he understands also
as it’s mostly me that does the cooking it makes no sense. I find it irritating and akin to my favourite supermarket re organising their aisles…..
Might be useful to remind him: A good engineer optimizes for the user, not for the engineer or some theoretical “best.” If a consumer system or product is not optimized for the user, it’s by definition not optimized.
Yes that’s my response every time he does it. It’s usually whilst I’m away and is obviously a secret pleasure of his, he’s always hopeful I think that I’ll ‘appreciate’ his improvements, but now it just leads to some yelling (that’s me) sulking (on his part) then we make a pot of tea because we’re English and I re arrange the cupboards to how I want them (lots of sighing).
We’ve met a few pet parents, often those less organized, that observed that prior housesitters re-organized their home. Mostly kitchen. Regardless, this strikes us as a boundary breach. Arguably similar to a housesitter trying to train a pet. In our view, both are simply beyond scope of housesitter responsibilities.
When we face a pet parent that expresses related concern in early conversations, we take direct approach and state that our role is limited to maintenance.
We do the American/US version of this dance each time I get back from a trip: coffee instead of tea. (But the loud sighs translate in any language, I think.)
I keep trying to explain that my ‘system’ is the “I’m 5’4” so things I use a lot go in front & on the lowest shelves!” system. (He’s 6’5”!)
Hubby has fixed: taps, squeaking doors, toilet roll holders, light switches, oven lights, sinks, drain holes, and various other minor DIY. He finds it unbearable to ignore these things….
I could go for some of the stuff but please don’t let take all the pets away. My sister and BIL would be delighted, though. They have installed curtains, door bell, ceiling fan and lights and all sort of stuff in my new flat. Despite having it covered by my home insurance, they wanted to do it, so I’ve asked my agent to downgrade my insurance.
What you describe is so minor, as are the cases where a spatula gets put in the wrong drawer by mistake. It happens and it’s part of life, really. Mo one can go through life without unintentionally ruffling some feathers on occasion. I would be mildly irritated but then the rational side of my brain would kick in and say well it wasn’t unreasonable to fold them and the sitter was probably trying to be helpful. We are all just doing the best we can 