I agree. Until this sit, we’ve always been made to feel welcome and appreciated. We’ve made many friends and met a host of people leading fascinating lives. This is why I posed the question. In theory, there is a symbiosis between host and sitter. Not to dwell, but this experience was decidedly in one direction, food staples aside.
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In retrospect, were there any signals of that ahead of the sit? I ask, because various sitters might benefit from avoiding such a HO.
Not ahead of time. No red flags. I bring up the issue, not as a criticism of these hosts, but as a practice in self reflection. Are my expectations unreasonable. As to this particular sit, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. They are young. This was only their 2nd hosting. I cooked for them so there’d be something to eat upon their return. Maybe this will be a learning experience for them as well.
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Hello, having been wanting to be a part of the THS community for some time now, and finally joined – this issue is intriguing to me.
My partner and I eat a very unique diet, partly due to intolerances/health issues, and partly because we love to eat almost everything from scratch. We would not want the HO to supply us with anything, except perhaps just S&P or something. We have stayed in remote locations many time and figured out how to take the basic supplies and still enjoy cooking – it’s possible!
Turning the tables to the other side, if/when we open our place as HO’s, who on earth would want to eat the fresh stuff WE love and adore? You know? And even now, when we go somewhere, we spend several days to “cook down through the fridge” and eat everything up. Oh, what a dilemma…
I think as others have indicated, that a sitter as well as an HO ought to make food/supplies a basic subject to talk about prior to final arrangements. The list that Piet gave as an example (in a previous post, above) contains foods that would simply NEVER be in our home or our shopping cart. For one, we don’t even eat processed foods.
I think this all speaks to how very different each individual’s/couple’s dietary choices and preferences are, and would benefit from being mentioned in a meeting prior to decision making time. Kitchens are a personal place, for some, much more than their bedroom is.
Anyhow, you raise a great issue – how to manage our expectations, and it bears some thought on the end of both parties, doesn’t it? It CAN be resolved without folks posting and implying that they’ve had fabulous sits and been welcomed as guests as if it was routine – I believe it’s more like luck or magic, LOL!
Thanks for starting a really useful thread!
LJ
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Thanks for your insight. My partner and I have been living the nomadic life for the past year and a half. Six or seven months ago, we decided to incorporate an “after action” report for future reference. Not only did this help defuse potential conflict between the two of us, but it helped us map out future plans while avoiding potential hazards. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this AAR.
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If a host barely ever cooks at home or gets a meal service like Blue Apron, I can understand why they would hardly have anything in their pantry and fridge.
Maybe these people eat fruit and yogurt for breakfast, or coffee and a granola bar?? And maybe they eat out every day near where they work in an office. Who knows? And then come home and cook a Blue Apron meal.
If this is the case, I think they should let the Sitter know that the Sitter should be prepared to bring everything if they plan to cook, including very basic things like oil, salt, pepper.
It is all about communication, and none of us are mind readers. These people should have enough life experience to know that their kitchen situation is unusual.
As a sitter, I love a clean fridge to fill with my own things and I am disgusted by a fridge packed with too much or rotting food. If a place was remote and inconvenient, I’d feel frustrated that the owner didn’t leave anything, but I also wouldn’t show up expecting them to. It’s really impossible to guess people’s food preferences, so it needs to be discussed in advance. I simply say “Let me know where to shop for food before I arrive” and the homeowner will either say “I’ll leave you XYZ” and/or they’ll provide recommendations.
I once kept a rental across the country from my home, for work. Every meal of the day, and unlimited drinks and snacks, were provided for all employees who worked in the office.
If you wanted food after hours at work, we all had a company-paid delivery account. At some point, our catering team even started making dinner boxes that employees could grab on the way home. It was a convenient perk, especially for single folks.
Because of that, in my rental, all I had were liquor and snacks (if I hadn’t eaten them all). My husband came to visit and said I lived like a frat boy, LOL.
If I wanted a meal in the apartment, I’d get takeout.
I let friends stay when I wasn’t there, but I told them there’d be no food. Just alcohol and maybe some snacks, LOL.
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Sounds like you have the basics covered! Alcohol and snacks.
In response to this, I’m interested to know if anyone thinks that it would be nice for a HO to return back home to find basics in the fridge for them perhaps?
I ask because we left a reasonable amount of basics plus fresh bread, milk, butter juice, etc for recent sitters which they used (all fine) but now we return and we have nothing.
Just seems like it should be a two way street.
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Absolutely should be. If we are hosted or left a meal we leave a meal to return to. If we are left basics then we leave the same basics for the HO return. Only good manners and consideration really. We have never been in the situation (yet) where we have been left nothing and although I kinda feel we would do the same but I am not sure I have it in me and would probably still leave them at least some milk, bread and eggs, although hard to know what they eat without asking if they leave an empty fridge 
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I’m gluten intolerant so I bring most food that we eat. It would be a waste of money (and time) to buy specific food for us.
I’d rather have a couple of empty shelves in the fridge and some freezer space.
I wouldn’t expect anything from a sitter in terms of food, but if I did, I would 100% leave money for it, not expect them to get you fresh items for your return home out of their pocket . When you left on holidays, if anything in the fridge was going to perish, you would have lost it if there was no sitter in the house. If you left it, it could have been something the sitter didn’t want to eat, wasn’t part of their diets, etc
If it was clear that you had left them food, there is no reason for them to get anything for you, especially if it was half consumed, it was a kind gesture from you to welcome them into your home. They might bake you something for your return (that’s what we do) but it shouldn’t be expected for them to buy groceries, just like you shouldn’t feel like you need to get them anything.
No money should be exchanged and food is part of it.
We have done 45 + sits and at the beginning we always felt like we needed to buy new cartons of milk (even though we don’t drink milk so we’re throwing their rotting milk out), bread, etc but realized all we did was purchase whatever they enjoyed eating and cost us quite a bit as we were doing sits after sits quite frequently.
When we come home from our holiday, our fridge is empty. It is a disadvantage of returning from our vacation, but at the same time, one trip to our local supermarket and we have our basics.
Again, this depends on each sitter and home owner, but please don’t leave food for your sitter expecting them to return the favor: leave food if you want to, as you know the area better than them and you know their first priority will be to get comfortable with your pets and your home, upon their arrival, especially if you are located in a more rural location where accessing the supermarket is difficult and a bit of an adventure. If they get things for you, amazing! But the quality of a sitter doesn’t rest in how much food they got for you on your arrival day, when they cleaned your home, got ready to fly, drive, etc and go to their next destination.
In other word, don’t expect anything else than a clean house and happy pets, but enjoy being pleasantly surprised by a cake or a dinner! 
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Depends on where you live or sit, but I sit in the U.S. and U.K. and can easily order delivery of groceries or meals. I never come home to no food, either, because I can schedule a delivery ahead of time or just as I touch down at the airport. Sometimes I time it so my meal is at my doorstep as soon as I arrive.
I texted my current host, because they’re returning late at night. Asked whether they want me to DoorDash them something or they order and I take delivery and put stuff in the fridge for them. No need to guess, to feel slighted or whatever.
That’s what I was saying. I don’t buy anything except we can use it when we come back.
Good point. True, some employers feed their people very well at the office.
Perhaps that was the situation referenced above and certainly would explain the lack of food in the home.
Many people seem to get a little uptight about this ’ leaving food’ issue, I can’t see why! As a HO I simply treat sitters as I would a family member or friend arriving to stay. There is food and drink available, quite normal! In the course of their stay food is eaten, or thrown away! Quite normal!
When we leave the sitter has the full run of whatever there is to either eat or throw away? In addition I always show the sitter where the nearest supermarket is as every sitter who has ever ‘sat’ wants to do some shopping, again quite normal. Why the problems and anxiety some appear to encounter about empty fridges, no basics left etc; utterly bemuses me.
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I have been on house sits where I have had multiple amounts of food and drinks left in the fridge (some items past their use by date) and absolutely no room for the sitter to put their stuff.
I have been on house sits where the kind host left food and drinks for us as a kind gesture. Milk and bread don’t cost much.
Having a fridge that is so stocked that it is impossible to put any more in is a concept completely alien to me! I can’t even imagine a completely full fridge! The waste must be tremendous! Our fridge is, on average; about half full at any one time and it isn’t one of those grotesque things you could park the family car in!!! Anyone staying would find sufficient space for a ‘normal’ shop. In addition there is a freezer which is the lower half of the fridge and a large box freezer is in the garage. If a sitter were not happy with that arrangement I would be dumbfounded! As I have said, treating sitters as you would family and friends is, in my view, good enough.
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That’s right Ken! I had to go through it and tidy up and get rid of mouldy cheese, etc.
Yuck!