It’s fine for you to prefer X, as it is for the OP to prefer hosts who honor their agreements without trying to walk them back.
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I wasn’t asking for your feedback and what you prefer is of no interest to me.
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What a coincidence @idocsteve!! I feel the same!!!
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It’s not an either or. Everybody prefers dealing with those who do not “try to walk back” what has been agreed to. I don’t disagree with @Synchronicity being annoyed. But there are a lot of truly outrageous behaviors and sense of entitlement by hosts and sitters regularly reported on this forum. This issue is not close to being one of those.
What is fine is respectfully sharing different perspectives on situations described in different threads on this forum. @Synchronicity is pointlessly pushing the boundary on the respectful bit. But that too is fine. NBD.
Hey guys, thanks so much for participating…..it’s been gaslighting…..errr……I mean enlightening! 
I really must go now. As you all know lol the hosts return tomorrow! And as a rave reviewed, 5 -star Sitter, I want to make sure to tidy up their home and have it as they left it!
Goodnight!
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I don’t think threads are limited to the egregious in everyone’s eyes, since so much is subjective. And we discuss lots of issues from minor to major.
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They certainly are not and I did not insinuate they were. My entire perspective has been that the issue in this thread is minor. You and the OP have a different perspective. That’s fine. NBD.
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I’d takd that bet and win.
If I saw a sitter leave a factual review to the extent of “The host wanted to come back a day early and overlap my sit but they changed their mind after I objected” and a star was docked I would see this sitter as rigid, inflexible, and way too critical, and the application would be declined.
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You might not have intended that, but this sort of comment comes across that way:
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Wise words @ziggy . I’m quite baffled by the attitude too
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Nobody likes things being spoiled for them, and the HOs definitely in their initial decision making spoilt your peaceful experience of this sit. Things being spoilt in the past creates a different internal context for each of us. It triggers a wide range of reactions…. some have a high resilience to being not so much simply inconvenienced but others are really disappointed to the point of anger. As a retired therapist I’d see this a lot in clients. When there’s a big reaction I’d search for past disappointments and unresolved ‘spoilings’. This is often where the answer lies…. acknowledging how horrible a present day spoiling is healing but denial that it’s anything more than a bit inconvenient reinforces past unresolved spoiling and confirms prior hurt/anger.
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This, 100%.
I see this all the time, in that people react in a really overblown way to a very minor transgression. It’s not about what’s happening now, it’s about what happened in the past and was triggered.
The response of the author of this thread is a perfect example of such.
“How dare they try to join me on the last night of my sit! Even though they understood my objections and didn’t do it, I’m gonna dock them a STAR so everyone knows!”
It’s a reaction versus a response.
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Do report when the hosts return at 5am… “we agreed the date”.
If I was in your situation, I would be ok with what the host did. I would have already asked if they can host us for the gab night before the next sit, so we would have already gone to be roomies.
I suppose a lot of sitters would not be ok with it, but would stay silent. So it is great that you held your ground - you definetly have the general “agreements should be held”-morals behind you, as well as the official rules of THS.
If I saw a review that host came early, I would like to know why. I dont want them to Walz in mid-dinner without announcing (because I am messy and need time to hide that). In this situation, where I know when their flights are, I would expect them to come any minute after the flight lands - but not before that.
For me, the dates and other things are an on-going negotiation. I recognize that the host has the upper hand, so it is not a fair negotiation. But I still view it that way. I think it makes sense to leave a factual review, but I also think that if a host has only had pushover/constant negotiation -sitters, they genuinely have had the change to keep their “my home my rules”-attitude, and again genuinely thought that the host has the right to return early: and that is a kind thing to offer the sitter the extra night. So maybe go easy on the star docking - but not on describing the situation. There isn’t really THS-course for the nitty gritties of nuances of situations. So it is easy for a host to think “my way is the right way”, without malice.
In general I dont like to talk bout THS in terms of a job contract. But to clarify this situation, I would say. The host have hired you to take care of their home. The payment for that is certain number of days of accomodation. The job is for you to be in their disposal for certain amount of days. If they paid by cash, they could come home any time, release you, and just pay the whole sum. But when the payment is the housing, they need to pay it full, because you have provided your availability full. The mistake the host makes is to think that as the need for care ends, so does the need to pay for that care, which is obviously false when one looks at it from payment in money perspective.
It’s not overblown (judgemental) it’s different (acceptance of everyone’s life experience).
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We had a similar situation two weeks into a three week sit , out of the blue the host told us that they were returning 3 or 4 days early because they had got tickets for a high society social event which they were very excited about attending . Although we did have more than 2 hours notice, there was no consideration at all about the impact their early return would have on us .
The host really didn’t get that this was a major impact and change to our plans . We politely pushed back pointing out that we were committed to stay until the agreed end date and had made plans to be in the area until that time . They replied that you’re welcome to stay on with me for as long as you want when I get back. This, in their minds, was a perfectly acceptable solution .
We too were taken by surprise when this happened and that’s when we first posted on the forum
https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/home-owner-curtails-sit-by-coming-back-several-days-early
We did comment factually in our review to warn future sitters .
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A very interesting read via your link, fascinating too to see comments from sitters who we no longer see in the forum, gosh that was 3 years ago now!
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Interesting stance for a forum
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There is a saying about this “if it’s hysterical, it’s historical”.
I am not a therapist, but very interested in psychology.
The author of the thread is asking for help (unless they’re just looking to complain or to get validation for their prior or intended actions).
Those who reply offer their opinions, suggestions and advice. Not the other way around.
Forums are for discussion. Both directions. It isn’t all about having the final word
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