We’re fairly new to THS and thoroughly enjoying our experiences and petsits so far. However we’ve just received a message about a newly confirmed sit that we’re not sure how to respond to.
The HO would like us to arrive the day before they leave so that they can meet us and show us around. Absolutely okay with an in person show round, but we really don’t feel comfortable with staying for a meal or a sleepover while the HO are still there. We would rather stay in a nearby hotel.
Is it okay to decline an offer like that and say we’ll stay nearby and come to the house early the next morning instead? And if so, how would you word it so it doesn’t sound funny?
It is not unusual to meet the HO and pet(s) the day prior and have a sleepover. However, if you are not comfortable with a sleepover, you certainly are not obligated to do so. I have had sits where I arrived the day prior, but I elected to stay at an Airbnb. I would tell the HO, “Although I appreciate your offer to stay at your home, I will make arrangements to stay at an Airbnb.” You could say something similar.
And I also have had sits where I arrived a day prior and had a sleepover. In addition to meeting you and showing you around, the HO may want you to see how you interact with the pet(s) and that the pet(s) are comfortable with you. Or they may have an early flight the next day.
If it was never requested & spoken about before you accepted the sit, then it’s totally fine to explain that you don’t do overnight stays. You can just explain that you are happy to do a handover the day before but don’t do overnight stays. Did you have a video call with the HO before accepting the sit? Always best to do so, to ensure everything is communicated properly before accepting; communication is key to a smooth sit. It might be a good idea for you to write on your profile that you don’t do overnight stays for a handover, as many owners do request this.
It’s completely up to you of course, but we have had nothing but fantastic experiences doing a meal together or sleeping over. It’s especially helpful for long sits, complicated houses or pets.
Honestly, we now feel disappointed when we don’t have overlapping time together because then the handover feels so rushed.
In almost all occasions the homeowners are also busy with packing so we have a lot of time on our own, but then meals allow more relaxed conversations about emergency pet care, we get to observe how the pets behave with meals and owners, etc.
I think for the homeowners it allows them to also feel much more relaxed when they leave because they know you as a person. Often during these times we get bonuses like “I don’t normally allow people to use my car…the wine cellar, etc.”
Getting to know the owners as well as the pets has been one the unexpected perks of sitting for us!
I feel the same. For me, it improves the whole experience. Especially if it’s an international sit. I really have to make an effort to count those overlappings as extra and not take them as the norm when assessing hospitality.
I appreciate many people do like the social aspect of this, but we’re not really about that. We’re both introverts and find it awkward sometimes even going for meals/staying over at a friends house - spending that amount of time socialising with and talking to people we don’t know and potentially have nothing in common with is extremely daunting. We can’t talk about their pets all evening
No we didn’t, we were about to arrange a video call but asked for the welcome guide and travel times first so that if we had any questions we could discuss during our call. Will try and get video calls arranged prior to agreeing a sit in future!
We haven’t had anyone else ask for an overnight crossover yet (on our first sit and have 3 more confirmed) so this is the first time we’ve come across it.
Does the HO have an early flight the next day?
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They do have an early flight the next day.
The sit were currently on also left early but we did the handover via video chat and then we arrived later in the morning, and that was perfect for us.
Actually having gone back over their message they don’t say that they’re expecting us to stay over, they don’t mention sleeping arrangements that night at all. I presume they’d expect us to stay over but maybe not
We did an overnight on our first sit to both handover and because they were leaving very early the next morning. I felt uncomfortable about it & it was definitely outside our comfort zone but I’m glad we did stay - it gave us time to walk the dog together, have a proper briefing of arrangements & build a good rapport & confidence with the HOs. It wasn’t in the slightest bit awkward but it was a big house and we had our own bathroom. Another situation maybe I would have felt differently.
@Littlewhitedog Ah okay - yeah, for future sits, always have a video call before accepting sits, especially as you prefer not to spend the night with a HO. Instead of asking for the WG first (by which the HO has to confirm you as the sitter), ensure you have a list of questions ready to ask in a video call, so you can smooth out all the basics and decide if you’re a good match.
The WG is simply a HO’s detailed instructions of where to find things in the home, the feeding instructions, and emergency contact numbers, etc. It’s not a dialogue between you and the HO.
Here are some important things to consider discussing in a video call before accepting any sit;
Your general expectations of a sit (particularly if it’s a new HO who’s never had a sitter - if they’re new, walk them through what they should provide a sitter (e.g: space in the fridge & wardrobe, pet supplies, ensure they know THS policies & guidelines).
The HO’s expectations
Doorbell cameras (if that’s something that you want to clarify/talk about).
The timings of when you would arrive and what the HO’s departure & arrival times are
Anything that isn’t clear in the listing that you want to know about
The pet’s personality, health, behaviours & needs
How long the pet can be left for and where they sleep (if it wasn’t already mentioned in the listing).
It’s completely up to you, but I have done several sits (both via THS and independently of THS) which have involved an overnight stay at handover and departure. All have been enjoyable and positive experiences, as well as making it easier in practical terms, as home owners are actually able to show you the animals’ routine, rather than just tell you about it.
I usually sit alone, and am drawn to remote locations that often mean no human interaction for several days. I would describe myself as a ‘sociable introvert’ - I enjoy the company of others, but find it tiring even if it’s friends or family, and need time alone afterwards to recharge my batteries. Probably part of the reason why I love the easy company that animals provide.
Based on my experiences, I would suggest you throw caution to the wind and give it a try. But (and it’s a big but) worth noting that I only sit for home owners with whom I feel I would have some common ground, and get on with. This may not matter to some people, since the home owners will be away for the duration of the sit anyway, but it’s important to me. I’ve only ever done one video call prior to meeting home owners, but I have always exchanged enough messages to have built a rapport, and have that ‘gut feeling’ that things will be ok.
I completely understand what you’re saying. I also prefer not to stay overnight with the HO. I did it once due to their very early flight but I would not do it again unless it was very inconvenient or expensive to stay elsewhere. As you said, we are all different and important to know your limitations. Also therefore important to be able to confidently communicate this. It is ok to decline an invitation to stay over with them. It would have been better to have discussed this in advance if it is a deal breaker for you or in fact for them but as this is already confirmed then I suggest just tell them what you have told us. Though I wouldn’t say it makes to you uncomfortable, just that you prefer to organise your own accommodation. It may be that they just want the reassurance that you are actually there before they leave so offering to arrive before they go despite the early hour might help.
It would be totally fine to sleep elsewhere one would think, the important part is to meet, build trust and to have a proper walk-through. Many questions can arise during a handover that you haven’t thought about before.
Being introvert and not comfortable with strangers can potentially be a risk if you for instance avoid video calls, meet ups etc. A good match is based on trust, but also that you find out things that not necessarily are mentioned in profile and would have meant a «no» from you had you known. You will find a lot of those examples on forum (both ways, sitters and HO). So sleep elsewhere if you’d like, but use these opportunities. It will be a great win for the sits.
Of course it’s okay.
Just be honest with how you feel. No need to pretend to be comfortable when you’re not.
No one here will ever “convince you” when you are not comfortable.
Just thank them and state your preference.
Keep it simple.
If staying overnight while the host is still there is an absolute deal-breaker for a sitter no matter how big the house or private the sleeping area, I think they should mention it in their profile and list the various acceptable options for doing the handover. As a host, I would be really annoyed if I got as far as confirming someone and then had to negotiate all that.
Personally, i think its a great idea.
Experienced it multiple times, not only does it give more time for the pet to get used to you, it must give the HO so much more reassurance that you are actually there.
The flip side of it is; you turn up a few hours after they have gone, and enter as a complete stranger. The pet is in for a big shock! The HO will be leaving early in the morning wondering “wonder if the sitter has arrived, are they stuck in traffic etc?”
Its not like you have been asked on arrival,
but especially for the HO and pets sake, its certainly the way to go.
By the way, we are quite a pair of introverts too.
Have a great sit.
