My personal food rules when sitting : I do not open anything and I do not use the last of anything. IF I do either of these things - because I was too stupid to bring enough food for myself or found something particularly yummy - I always replace what I ate.
Your sitters sound entitled and rude to have eaten pretty much everything in your home ! “Help yourself” is always a gracious thing to say/offer but it demands respect from the guests which was clearly outside of their “skillset”.
That applies to a lot of threads here. I don’t think we always need to know every detail though if people don’t want to share. Discussions can still be helpful.
Re topic:
I am German too and I live in Ireland. Communication here is VERY indirect. I had to learn to adjust and not take them literally any more… for example, when someone says “I don’t want to keep you”, they actually mean “I don’t want to talk to you any more” or “I need to go but I am too polite to say it”.
Even if someone did say “please eat absolutely everything in the house”, and I knew that they meant it, I still wouldn’t do it 
That’s a bit harsh, its only been a day.
She is probably out grocery shopping to restock her pantry
I always ask would you like me to use any food that may go out of date in your fridge.
If I use anything else l always replace and always leave a loaf of bread and milk at least for them to come home
To. Just common courtesy l guess.
The 1st thing i do when i get to a sit is head to the grocery store. Not even looking what the HO have. When a HO says help yourself, i feel they are trying to be kind and mean maybe some flour here, or butter, but not eat me out of house and home. Thats extreme to me. I would mention in review but subtle. I think most of us use common sense. Good luck.
Wow, there really are some rude people on this forum.
The reason I hadn’t answered (it’s been like a whole 24 hours) is because I’ve been busy with work, grocery shopping, unpacking etc.
To answer the question. The sit was for 4 weeks.
I have no problem with the sitters, they were lovely and my pets were well cared for and the house was left clean and tidy as it was when I left it and I know that my offer of “help yourself” could be taken literally. Which it clearly was. I just wasn’t expecting to be cleared out and returning home to not even a teaspoon of milk to make a coffee!!
All I was asking was if this was normal etiquette!
Thank you to those that answered in a courteous manner. I appreciate your feedback.
To the people that think that eating all HO food and leaving nothing. The cost of living affects us all. Yes we are having our homes and pets cared for, for a minimal fee but the sitters should also realise that they are able to have free accommodation with no out of pocket expenses, all their gas, electricity, water etc is also paid for them. Expecting HO to also supply food is just a bit extreme. Just my opinion.
Do you realise that I am still paying for rent, heating, electricity, internet, etc at my own place when I am taking care of someone else’s pets?
Had you really expected your cheese to survive a month in your fridge?
Honestly having just reread every one of the 66 replies to your original post, not one of them is rude. They don’t all agree with you but 90% do agree that it’s not the norm to eat so much and you were unlucky. The one overarching bit of advice to take from this (which again has been reiterated by many experienced members) is to make your instructions & parameters crystal clear to your sitter. You could be dealing with English as a second language, a cultural difference, a sitter who has had this offer from another host and they meant it (happened to us in Tuscany), the belief that the statement was literal & so on. If you come to an open forum and ask a question, then not all the answers will be the ones you want to hear. #thatsjustlife
I personally don’t ever use anything that belongs to an owner, even if they say so. For me, I like keeping things as an even exchange. I care for your home and pets, replace what I’ve used, return your home in the condition it was turned over to me. I’ve had some bad sits. Really unclean homes including bedding, pets with conditions and behaviors which were not disclosed. Those were not a mutual exchange to me. The owners received much more than I did. But I learned, as you will. You will likely be more clear the next time. Maybe stating that a sitter is free to use condiments and spices, but to replace anything they have emptied.
I do not agree with your statement above. I continue to pay for where I live, which includes utilities. They would not go away when I leave as they would not for you when you travel. I have a lot of out of pocket costs to sit. I pay for transportation to and from my sits, usually flights, which are not inexpensive. I pay to arrive and depart at my sits. I almost always arrive the day before, which means a hotel expense. The worst is when I’ve done all of this and the pet owner does not appreciate this is a mutual exchange that should benefit both parties. It sounds like you are feeling this way now. We live and learn. Do what you can to prevent this in the future, but no, this is not a free ride for the sitters.
Agree with what you say entirely, it costs sitters money to look after someone else’s pets, sometimes a lot.
Thanks for clarifying these questions. Half of it. How many people were there? I honestly think you’re making a bit more of it than it really is. 3 blocks of butter in 4 weeks. Isn’t that normal? You did say that your baking utensils were used. I can also use up 3 packs of butter in 4 weeks with another person, especially if I bake a cake. It wouldn’t be unusual for me to bake, and imagine, one of the sitters (were there also children involved?) had a birthday. Of course, you might bake then.
I think that by not mentioning the length and number initially, you wanted to get as many people on your side as possible. Surely, you also think that in 4 weeks, it’s not really that much, considering that you are actually to blame because you mentioned it and they took it literally. May I also ask if the sitters were from England? I strongly suspect not, and that’s why it was interpreted this way. I’m from Germany and just like Andrea, I had to learn many years ago that Brits don’t mean everything as they say and much is just said out of politeness, but not because it’s actually meant that way. In Germany, however, that doesn’t work like that. We mean what we say or we say nothing at all. This gives us the reputation of being unfriendly, but in reality, we are just very direct.
Never really a free ride @Love2travell My current sit involves at least 4 hours of active pet care daily. Even if I charged a very basic fee of £10/hr for my services, you’d be looking at a substantial bill over the course of a 4 week sit.
Personally I think you’ve been unfortunate in your experience, and that whatever culture people are from it’s pretty inconsiderate to take, without seeming to even consider offering something in return. But perhaps your sitters felt that they had offered something in return, in the form of pet care. Your original post gives no mention of your pets, so I’m assuming that you were relatively happy with the care given whilst you were away?
I would put it down to experience, and move on. For the future, a nice way to limit what sitters help themselves to might be to provide a ‘Welcome Hamper’ or similar - some basics such as bread and milk, plus whatever else you feel appropriate. Perhaps put salt, pepper, oil etc. in it as well, and it becomes a very clear way of letting someone know that they are welcome to whatever is in the basket, but need to buy anything else themselves.
This is turning into a ‘Who Dunnit’ with regards to the butter 
It doesn’t really matter how long the sit was for, how many people there were, or what they used the butter for. The point is, they ate it all and didn’t replace it, which - regardless of culture or what a host has said - is pretty bad manners.
… that they had been offered to help themselves to the butter.
And then the HO who said that is going out on this forum asking “Is it ok to eat the hosts food?”
And thinks that responses are rude…
It is really difficult to understand.
Nope, that’s the point. This butter situation really shows how much our backgrounds shape what we think is polite. In some places, using what’s offered and not replacing it is totally fine, especially if the host says it’s cool to use whatever you need. But in other cultures, you’d always replace what you used, just to be considerate. It’s pretty interesting how something as simple as butter can reveal all these different expectations! And, hey, speaking of manners, isn’t it a bit off to say one thing and mean another? That’s almost like lying. Then, going online to complain about it in a forum might be seen as bad manners too, right?
By the way, I was once in China and usually, I finish everything on my plate, but this time, every time I emptied my plate, I was given more food. This happened three times. While I thought it was rude not to finish the food, it was perceived as if the host had not provided enough, implying I was still hungry. When I finally left some food on the plate, they stopped serving more.
Why do you only use the word ‘free’ when you are describing the sitters part of the exchange?
Some people think it’s rude to say “hi, how are you?” and then walk on before you have answered their question.
Exactly, it’s all about reading between the lines. Even the heading tells a lot. I bet it was a family, not speaking English as their mother tongue.
@anon22438636 really? This thread is toxic enough without people now assuming who and what the sitters were. Maybe it was a single retired person who spoke perfect English, maybe it was a group of people who spoke six languages, maybe it was a deaf and dumb person who couldn’t hear or speak at all, we should ask not assume. It is not for us to assume anything, the forum is here to offer support and advice, not judge or assume. Poor form, very poor 
It said house sitters, so there must have been at least 2. Let’s speculate people, this forum specialises in speculations, right?! 