Is it ok to eat the hosts food?

When I’ve been left half-eaten stuff in the fridge I tend to leave it there unless it’s going to affect whatever else is in there or if (as has happened) there is no room for my stuff even after I’ve asked for it. It’s not my role to clear this. Most times I can’t eat what they’ve left due to allergies.
I have noticed that this is more of an issue in homes with huge “American style” fridge freezers - I’m not sure the HO even knows what is in the fridge half the time.
I was left the remains of Christmas when I sat for New Year, and I’m not sure any of it had seen the inside of the fridge - I did, however, finish off the half empty bottles of wine :blush:

2 Likes

On my last sit, the lady host had stocked up on fresh food for me, loads of it. On her return she was disappointed I had hardly touched it. She sent me home with some treats from her trip away, food from the fridge and two bottles of wine. I have never had such generous things left for me before and I actually found it overwhelming. My husband told me to start eating things which had use by dates on them, so I did. He also said that as she had gone to the trouble and expense of buying it, to not touch it would just be plain rude.

8 Likes

How about “help yourself to tap water” or “the use of the toilet is free of charge (even if you flush)”?

5 Likes

That is frightening!
It is a good job that these sitters did not do our recent sitting. The hosts have a wine cellar with about 600 bottles of good quality wine. He invited us to help ourselves during our 2 week sit. We took 2 of the inexpensive bottles.

Can you imagine them returning home to an empty cellar!!??

8 Likes

They would probably post here and add another horror post to the forum.

4 Likes

We always say help yourself but I would be shocked if someone cleaned out most of our food. Was the sitter young? Wonder if they just didn’t understand that helping yourself didn’t mean eat all my food.

Then, why would you say it? :smiley: People not from the UK might not understand British etiquette. And the same goes for any other mix of people. One of the first things you learn when designing software products for users is not to use icons because they just aren’t universally understandable. It’s essentially the same thing here. The message received is what the sender says, not necessarily what the sender means. Moreover, we still don’t know how long the sit was. If it was several weeks or months, then why not? Of course, you’d use a lot of stuff. And whether it was one person or a whole family, nobody knows, so why speculate when someone doesn’t give all the details?

8 Likes

HO should not say “Help yourself” with large food or liquor stocks in the pantry, fridge and freezer. Liquor cabinets with any exotic drinks, special Anniversary wines or top shelf whiskey, etc should be off limits in the Welcome Guide. When in doubt, lock it up.

“Finish off perishables” should not include expensive imported cheese, truffle, or aged meats.

After 5 years of full time sitting, I always shop and cook my own meals, with my own spices I like. I keep up with my own traditional holiday feasts at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Food may be a Sitters biggest expense. It is on them and their budget, cooking, and meal preferences.

@Peg why should the sitter being young make any difference? We are all capable adults on this site

3 Likes

The amount of people who try to justify the unreasonable behaviour in these sorts of posts makes me wonder how many of us can actually be trusted to make common sense judgments. It feels like home owners are expected to stipulate that the sitters cannot rifle through their underwear drawers or dress up in their clothes or get keys cut for future use. And if they don’t spell out all the many things sitters should/shouldn’t do in a welcome guide then any sitter behaviour is the fault of the owner’s poor communication. And then sitters complain that the handovers are too lengthy. Some people really need to grow up and THS it seems needs to be much more stringent about vetting and then booting people off the platform.

14 Likes

In my opinion, it all boils down to cultural and personality differences. I have said this a few times: we cannot expect people from different cultures and/or countries to think and behave like us, understand the possible different meanings of certain phrases, or cultural behaviours. In certain cultures a guest in your house is to be treated like a king (mi casa es su casa), in other cultures they say things like “be my guests”, but they don’t really mean “all the way”. So, it’s better not to be ambiguous.

I, for one, am a person who take everything very literally, so if a HO told me “help yourself” I might’ve done the same as these sitters.

7 Likes

Given the ridiculous level of items cleared out, I wouldn’t be surprised if the sitters didn’t actually eat everything during the sit, but decided to “help themselves” to items either for their next sit or for home.

Every sit provides something new to incorporate into the next one - I also am a bit more specific about (non-perishable) food that is available for sitters after one went to town during a relatively short sit - but we can never know what someone else will assume and cover every last detail. It’s a balance, and even though OP is likely going to be more specific next time, I find it hard to believe anyone would think this was a reasonable conclusion of their saying “help yourself”.

And yes, next time a sitter is bored and frustrated by the lengthy handover instructions, or finds a million post it notes, maybe think what might have made the host think it was necessary to do so :grimacing: :wink:

11 Likes

Is it just me but i interpret “help yourself” as take what you need.
If i had a packet of biscuits or a bar of chocolate and i said help yourself, it would mean “I’m happy to share, please take some.”
To eat everything i would expect the HO to say specifically, everything in the house is just for you.
I dont think HOs should be blamed for not being specific, some people just take advantage. Hopefully its a minority.

7 Likes

On a recent sit the host said help yourself to anything (and that included wine and spirits which almost filled a room)!
I said that is very generous but you really need to be careful who you say that to as I would hate you to be taken advantage of. She said you are my guest.
Even so we used our own supplies during the stay and arrived with a bottle of wine to enjoy with our host who kindly provided a meal.

6 Likes

If you didn’t mean “help yourself” why did you tell them that? How long was the sit? If they only ate half of everything you mentioned, would you have still posted this? As you can see from the responses, everyone has their own opinions of how much and what sitters should eat when a pet parent says this. If it were me, I would use it as a learning lesson for the next time and be more clear and specific in your welcome guide or just not say anything at all. Personally, I like to buy my own groceries and bring all of my own cooking spices and ingredients but that doesn’t mean every sitter does. And some people will literally take you at your word. You said help themselves and they did.

3 Likes

@IHeartAnimals
She said help yourself, not please take everything and no need to replace
Most people would draw a line ar using food from the freezer and i can’t see youd need 3 large butters unless it was an extremely long sit.

2 Likes

Sitter here and sounds extremely extreme to me and also terrible manners. I’d say they were taking the proverbial and would make the excuse " but you said we could ". Also astounded by the forum members who think this would be normal because you weren’t totally specific but a number of those just post to stir the pot. I’d mention it politely in your review. As a sitter you should be aware that a kind generous owner definitely doesn’t mean clean out the place.

8 Likes

Nobody knows what was exactly going on and the person who started the topic refuses to answer, so I decide to not believe it and won’t participate here anymore unless there is a clear answer from her.

Of course, I wouldn’t “help myself”, I just try to make people aware that people are people, not magicians who can read minds.

@Gina Where in my post did I mentioned that it was okay? Yes, you’re right, most people would draw a line. You and myself included. But their sitter didn’t hence my statement that some people will literally take them at their word. Not sure how this helps posting on this forum after the fact. Moral support? Prove that their feelings are right? Just learn and move on. Isn’t that what we all do?

1 Like