People come to THS from worldwide and we all have different backgrounds. My native culture for instance gives cash for all sorts of occasions. We’ve even had family stay as guests and then secretly leave us gift cash, presumably because we spent money hosting them.
I’ve also been given cash in totally friendly instances, when white people were trying to signal that they understood my native culture.
Personally, I context-switch or adapt, but like with everyone else, subjectivity is involved.
You have a very different perspective than I do. Out of 60 sits, I’ve only have 2 where I felt like I was being treated like staff. The vast majority of my sits have been for wonderful people who truly appreciate this exchange. They appreciate the service I’m providing and I appreciate the accommodations they are providing. Leaving me a small gift at the beginning of the sit doesn’t change anything, it’s just a kind gesture.
@kittysitter I’ve never left or received a tip when housesitting. I always leave a handwritten welcome home card. I may or may not leave a small gift. For example, at one sit I went to a local Christmas market and they had an ornament that looked exactly like their cat, so I bought one for them. I also bought one for my sister since they had one that looked like her cat. On another sit I went to a city about an hour away that was known for a specific type of candy that the HO had mentioned I should try if I went there. I picked up a bag for her since I knew she liked them. I’ve occasionally left homemade bread or muffins depending on the HO. I might do that even if they didn’t leave me anything. These are just gestures.
You certainly don’t have to accept any gifts of any kind if you feel it changes the relationship in a way that makes you uncomfortable. I only accept sits where I feel the HOs understand the friendly exchange nature of THS and it has worked out well for me so far.
I almost always leave small, thoughtful gifts for my hosts, and treasure the ones they have left for me. The ones you mentioned sound charming. It is the handing over of cold, hard cash (or cold, hard Visa card or similar) that I find inappropriate.
Goodness! You’ve got me in a tither, kitty sitter… I’ve twice left $$ for homeowners… once in London when it was so darn cold I had the heat on a lot, and once just last week in the San Juans when I’d inadvertently left the gas fireplace on all night. Both cases were where gas is exorbitantly expensive, and both homeowners said it was generous and even though wasn’t necessary, they appreciated it. I felt good about not taking advantage of their hospitality, as I really did use a lot of their heating gas. I feel it’s only right to be responsible for my excessive use of expensive utilities, and hope there was no insult or offense taken. Both gave me excellent reviews, as I did them… such lovely sits and experiences. I’ll happily return to either of those sits, and fully expect invites from them too in the future.
That is a completely different thing! You are paying them back for something excessive, above and beyond normal sitting “use”. Going back to signals, what you are signaling by leaving money for excessive gas use is, “I realize I used more fuel than you customarily would. THS is a platform of mutual exchange, not of taking advantage. To “restore mutuality”, I am covering my excess fuel expenses.”
I have zero problem with that. This is a reimbursement, not a tip. I broke a dish during my current sit and left cash to cover the cost of replacing the dish. That is still mutual.
Leaving cash as a tip is a completely different signal altogether. If a homeowner does it for a sitter, it signals, "You are a service provider, I am in a position of authority/power, I deem you worthy of acknowledgment ". It is not a reimbursement, it is a transaction. There are plenty of transactional ways to get a sitter - Rover, local professional sitters, etc. The difference between a transaction and an exchange is subtle but important. An exchange is reciprocal, mutual, and based on trust. A transaction changes the relational dynamics entirely.
If a sitter leaves a tip for a homeowner (not a reimbursement, but a cash “reward”), it signals, “I feel like I got the better end of this deal and I want to even things out”. If I were the homeowner on the receiving end of this, I would feel - crushed. What was meant to be a shared experience suddenly feels like - a business.
Over time, exchanging cash as a “reward” (not a reimbursement) will gradually erode the foundation on which THS was built. I don’t want to see that happen. Preserving the spirit of trust and community on which this platform is is based will go a long way toward ensuring the longevity of what is, at root, a beautiful thing. A unique thing. And conversations like this are part of it; inquiring into all of these points of view with an open heart is - beautiful.
Oh asking for money or grocerys or anything else, we would never do.
We don’t expect more from the HO than what they mentioned in their listing and what we discussed in the video-call.
That being said: we always give/ leave a little present of something typical from our home country.
Or some dog toy.
Or a little toy for the kids (if present).
Or fresh picked field flowers.
Al depends of what kind of HO they are.
But we don’t expect them to give us something in return.
It is just because we can and because we love to give.
We are happy with the idea that they trust us with their pets and home.
generous and even though wasn’t necessary, they appreciated it. I felt good about not taking advantage of their hospitality, as I really did use a lot of their heating gas. I feel it’s only right to be responsible for my excessive use of expensive utilities, and hope there was no insult or offense taken. Both gave me excellent reviews, as I did them… such lovely sits and experiences. I’ll happily return to either of those sits, and fully expect invites from them too in the future.