I’m relatively new to the website. I tried searching the forums and couldn’t find this topic discussed already. If you can refer me to previous discussions please do so.
I’m a homesitter with a dog that is very anxious about being alone at home. This is mentioned both on the page and was mentioned to each sitter always.
We write that he cannot be alone for more than 3 hours straight and even that should be on a rare scenario. We understand this is not for everyone and that makes perfect sense. No one is forcing anyone to do a sit.
After our last sit (which concluded almost two weeks ago) my downstairs neighbour contacted me and mentioned my dog was left alone at night two times until approx. midnight. He can’t say from when exactly the barking started but he estimates from around 20:00.
I verified that there’s no case he misheard and maybe it was a case where the sitter was at home but my dog was just barking a bit, and he said that for sure the dog was alone.
Now. I know how my dog barks when he’s alone, and it’s unmistakable from just his regular barking when someone rings the doorbell. It’s non-stop heart-breaking whining. We used to record this and it would go on like this for hours. So I’m sure my neighbour heard exactly that from what he described.
And also, and I understand this is just my pure subjective judgement, what incentive does he has to lie?
In any case - when I confronted the sitter he denied this.
My thought was “ok I cannot change the reality of what happened but I can at least give my account of things to prevent this from happening to other pet owners”
But it seems that I cannot include my neighbour’s account since it’s technically hearsay.
So here are my questions for the community:
Is it possible to protect yourself from such scenarios? If I put recording devices at my home I think I need to tell the sitters those exist, and I’m pretty sure some will not take a sit due to this.
What would you write in the review in such a scenario?
Thank you all for the help for whatever answer you provide.
Hi Jim,
THS does not allow the use of any indoor recording devices. You can read about this in the THS guidelines. You are allowed outdoor security cameras, but this should be for home security purposes only and definitely should not be installed just so you can monitor future sitter’s comings and goings. This site is built on mutual trust and respect, not spying and invading privacy.
Expecting that sitters do not leave your dog alone for more than 3 hours at a time is really not a realistic expectation to have from an unpaid sitter who is here for a mutually beneficial exchange. Of course, in this instance if a sitter has agreed to your requests when they accepted the sit, they should certainly uphold your requirements (as long as they are all fully disclosed before they accept the sit). However, in future be aware that you may not find many sitters on THS that are willing to take on such a sit, as it’s just not a particularly fair exchange and should really be the job of a paid local sitter.
In this instance, I would leave an honest and factual review. Neither you or your neighbour actually know why the dog was barking during the night, and this doesn’t necessarily mean the sitter wasn’t there, despite what your neighbour thinks. I would base your review off of fact and what you know, not what you don’t know
Personally I think you should be very careful and mindful about using the word ‘abuse.’ This is a strong word which implies awful things, which in your description, has certainly not taken place here.
You are upset that the sitter potentially left your dog unattended from roughly 8-12am on several nights they sat for you?
You are upset enough that you have mentally equated their absence on those evenings to animal abuse?
I’m unsure that a sitter going out to dinner or a night in the town equates to abuse here.
I know when I look for a sitter I try to make sure that it is a fair and equitable exchange. Sounds to me like you are asking an awfully lot in exchange for not much. Do you think your exchange is equitable and fair?
Internal cameras are strictly against THS rules.
If I were you I would be greatly concerned about coming across as ungrateful and demanding and getting a very bad review myself!
Please remind yourself of the THS policy on recording devices .
If your listing states that the dogs cannot be left for more 3 hours . Then sitters should respect this .
Going forward when selecting sitters , choose someone who has done dog sits before and has several previous 5 reviews . Pay particular attention to any comments about the care of the pets . Discuss with potential sitters this requirement to emphasise it again . You could ask “what do you plan to do while you are staying here ?” If they indicate that they will be taking your dog with them to visit places or mostly staying home ( eg if they work from home ) then you can be reassured that they are a good fit .
I think the sitter was probably too eager to accept your sit thinking that 3 hours was do-able. In the end , on two occasions he stretched the time by an hour so your dog was barking for 4 hours instead of 3.
The sitter was in the wrong but I don’t think it is the crime of the century, definitely not abuse! so I would let it go.
As others have said, it is difficult to see what the sitter is getting out of the exchange when the time your dog can be left is so strict. Having said that, there are sitters for everyone so the next time you need a sitter be very clear about your requirements , over-emphasising their importance.
If your sitter took your sit agreeing to leaving your dog for no more than three hours, they should have lived up to that.
The fact that you described this as “abuse,” even if the sitter did leave your dog for more than three hours, would warn off sitters about your sits, because you’re liable to exaggerate or have unreasonable judgment.
That you’d consider to resorting to recording should surely warn off many sitters about your sits.
Makes much more approx. upholding your requirements than approx. abusing your dog. Not to mention that the ability of a neighbour to keep track of time if the dog is barking nonstop could be a bit biased.
You have no proof that the sitter left the dogs for more than 3 hours since the neighbour said he doesn’t know when the barking started
The neighbour didn’t say that the dog was left more than 3 hours - just that the sitter came back around midnight.
If you comment negatively about something that you have no proof of you are unlikely to get sitters in future -
I would consider abuse to be hitting or starving the dog not leaving It alone for a few hours which is perfectly normal and something that you told the sitter could be done.
Another question is why on earth is it any of the neighbour’s business or concern in the first place, and why should they know about what a sitter has been instructed to do or not?
@Nagy26 I fully understand your sentiment here, but also keep in mind how annoying it can be when a neighbour’s dog is barking incessantly. It can drive one bonkers when it goes on an on and on, especially if you want to go to bed earlier than midnight.
Im an owner and would not call that abuse. The sitter may have come home after 3 hrs but it took the dog more time to settle back down. Or maybe they pushed it and it ended up at 4 hrs.
My dog can be left for 7-8 hrs on occasion, but I say 6 in my listing. I also ask for sisters to be home by 9 pm as my pup is used to going to bed early and waking up early. I wouldn’t care if they ended up coming home at 9:30 or 10 pm, but I don’t want someone who will be out clubbing all night either. So in my listing I make it clear that it’s not suitable for those seeking an active nightlife.
3 hrs is a tough requirement and if the sitter signed up for it they may have tried their best but time got away from them. 3 hrs would even be tough for a paid sitter as people do need to go out for errands, food, and, um, life stuff (many paid sitters also work other jobs too). If it really is a strict 3 hrs then boarding in a home may be a better option.
Or if 3 hrs, at least offer the sitter the option to invite guests over (if your pup can tolerate that). That would at least alleviate cabin fever on the Sitter’s part.
Is your pup happy now that your home? If so I would leave it alone and not mention it in the review.
Yes, unless it was a noise complaint, but it doesn’t appear like a noise complaint in the OP’s description - rather a relay of info about when & for how long the dog barked, and that they suspect the sitter wasn’t there etc, which seems a bit odd / off-putting to me, but I could be wrong
Not fair or nice for anyone though - for the neighbour, the sitter, or the dog. This problem starts and ends with the owner, not the neighbour or sitter. There are ways to train & manage your dog’s anxiety & behaviours and resorting to just ‘not leaving them’, ever, or for minimal time, isn’t an effective or realistic way to solve the issue and maintain your dog’s happiness.
Where did you write that the dog could not be left for more than three hours? In the listing? Or in the Welcome Guide after confirmation? If it wasn’t in the listing prior to confirmation then you were hiding the facts.
Hello @absw11 . You’re clearly already aware that your dog suffers from severe separation anxiety. Did you mention this behavioural issue in the listing, or simply that he/she can’t be left alone for more than 3 hours at a time? What I mean is, did you inform the sitter about the separation anxiety problem and symptoms before he/she arrived at the sit? Obviously, the sitter might not have heard or been aware of the racket and just thought you meant the dog needs potential toilet breaks / leg stretches every 3 hours (with you living in an apartment).
It sounds like it was more a neighbour-abuse situation than animal/pet-abuse.
To answer your questions:
Be totally up-front about your dog having severe separation anxiety, in future listings. As has already been said, it is against the T&Cs to use any recording devices inside your home (and why would you need any, when your neighbour is letting you know every time your dog demonstrates these behaviours?). Please don’t just mention that he/she cannot be left for more than 3 hours, as that’s only half the story. Sitters need to be aware of exactly what to expect, before they apply for sits.
There’s a 14 day deadline for writing reviews, so you’re almost out of time.
You’ve left this review quite late, why is that? What was your experience of returning home? Was your dog healthy and happy and well presented? Was your home clean and tidy? Did the sitter arrive and leave at agreed times? Was communication clear, with updates as ageed? Did you have any concerns about this sitter’s behaviour, until hearing complaints from your neighbour?
I’d urge you to consider the bigger picture here. It sounds like, on two occasions, the sitter POTENTIALLY stayed out for an hour longer than agreed. You have no real proof of that,and when ‘confronted’, he denied it.
It’s a shame you’ve condensed this down to terms such as ‘pet abuse’ and attributed this to the sitter. Separation anxiety can be exascerbated by times of transition, so possibly leaving him with someone he doesn’t know might have actually triggered his disorder.
Having re-read your post carefully You state that you live in a flat above your neighbour- you are aware from your own experience that when you leave your dog he barks and …… to quote your own words “It’s non-stop heart-breaking whining”
You knew that this is how your pet behaves when left alone and yet you advised the sitter that the dog could be left for 3 hours. Despite already knowing that your dog would be upset and the neighbours living underneath your flat would be disturbed .
You are now blaming the sitter for the outcome which you already knew would be the case.
This is unfair on your dog, your neighbour and your sitter.
Going forward you will need to disclose this pet behaviour in your listing . A paid sitter who can stay with your dog 24 hours a day may be more suitable solution if you need to travel again in future.
I am sorry this happened to you. But as you’ve been told here recording devices would certainly be unacceptable. It sounds like your dog barks whenever he is alone. This is probably something you should talk to a behaviorist, trainor or vet about. It must be very difficult for you and your neighbors.
I honestly don’t think you should be using free sitters on this site. As others have said, it is an exchange and unless you live in a stunning estate where it isn’t necessary to leave the properties, most people will want to go shopping, or out to dinner. Even experienced devoted sitters who understand your guidelines might not always be able to follow them, or might do their best but still not be able to live up to your expectations or your neighbors’.
Not following your guidelines and abusing an animal are two very different things. I understand your feelings, but accusing someone of “animal abuse” is a serious charge. Personally, if someone accused me of anything like that especially based on hearsay, and publicly in a review on a site like this, they would be hearing from my attorney.
We had an anxious dog who actually did best at a kennel. She liked being near other dogs but safely. She never had a problem with the staff there. She was better with people when she wasn’t defending us or her territory. She also took medications (fluexetine) which helped a lot. Also really long walks (2 miles or more) were helpful until she was older, and even after she slowed down, we’d try to keep her out for a while even if she wasn’t moving much.
When owners specify a limit on the number of hours that their dog can be left alone, I tend to assume that that is for avoiding “accidents” in the home. If barking/whining is not mentioned as the reason, that is hiding information.
In this case it seems to be for avoiding noise to the neighbours. And then late evenings are of course worse.
I am mostly home in the evenings, but I don’t take sits with such conditions. Dogs can go to sleep whether I am there or not.
reviews . Pay particular attention to any comments about the care of the pets . Discuss with potential sitters this requirement to emphasise it again . You could ask “what do you plan to do while you are staying here ?” If they indicate that they will be taking your dog with them to visit places or mostly staying home ( eg if they work from home ) then you can be reassured that they are a good fit .