A sitter recently stayed at my place for a week. Communication during the sit was fine, though nothing of substance. Just cute pet pics. I asked specifically how things were going and if anything could be improved, and the answer was always that everything was perfect.
She left a few hours before I returned, as planned. I found a couple of things in the house not working, though it was obvious that it wasn’t her fault. I messaged once about the first thing, then the second thing when I discovered it the next day. Both responses from her were positive, like “oh it’s okay, I was fine without it”.
Then the third day after she left, I notice an issue with one of the pets. So I messaged her, “hey was everything okay with the pets’ poop while you were here” in a very friendly way, and no response, that was a week ago. What I didn’t tell her was that I made changes to their food after she left, so I just wanted to know if they were having issues from the new food, or if it was just a coincidence.
I figured she didn’t want to communicate until I locked in her review, so I left a 5-star review, and still no response.
I understand from the sitter’s point of view she doesn’t want to keep messaging, but I also don’t think it’s too much to ask about things that should have been communicated during the sit in the first place.
@AllTheFerretsDied it’s not clear from your post what are the things that the sitter should have communicated during the sit ?
Somethings not working in the home that the sitter said she was fine without using ( so likely did not know we’re not working ) and your pets poo after the sit ( doesn’t seem to have been an issue until after you returned and changed the food )
Most owners are appreciative of a sitter who sends updates that all is ok and doesn’t interrupt their holiday with any small issues that they can sort out themselves / or things not working that they can do without .
It sounds like your sitter’s 5 star review was well deserved . I do respond to texts pre / during and post sit promptly. However, if am working / travelling or moving onto another sit I might not reply quickly especially if the answer is there were no issues and I had already repeatedly reassured you of this during the stay .
Unless the sitter has written your review she won’t have seen yours yet as they aren’t published until 14 days from the day after the sit finishes .
@AllTheFerretsDied In reading your post, it seems like your main complaint about the sitter is her lackluster communication during the sit and no communication after the sit.
However, you state,
Why wouldn’t you tell the sitter that you had made changes to your pets’ food either prior to the sit or during the sit? Why wait until the sit is over to mention that?
Asking the sitter “how things are going?” is a broad question. More specific things to say / questions would have been to say / ask, “I changed the pets’ food…Are they eating? Are they pooping ok?”
You are asking for “reasonable post-sit communication”, but It sounds like communication could have been better on both sides—before, during, and after the sit.
Not sure what more communications wise you were looking for during the sit, but it probably would’ve helped to be specific, rather than vague. And if there were items she didn’t break and didn’t need, maybe she saw no need to communicate.
Post sit, if you’d changed food and wanted to see whether anything was wrong during the sit, it would make sense to say that in your msg. But FWIW, I don’t check my WhatsApp most of the time, unless I’m sitting or my hosts and I’ve agreed to communicate there pre-sit. Maybe your sitter does likewise, or she thinks the sit is wrapped up and she’s moved on.
BTW, pets often have iffier stools and such when switching foods, which is why vets often recommend easing them in. If you didn’t change till days after the sit and the poops in between were fine, I wouldn’t be asking the sitter at all. In the future, best to not change your pets’ food quickly after a sit. Give them time to readjust to your return and for you to see whether all’s well first.
The sitter can’t possibly have any input regarding your changing the pets food after she had left the sit, so I don’t really understand why you would feel she should make response on that?
What exactly do you feel should have been communicated during the sit, but wasn’t?
It’s evident you are feeling that the sitter should continue a dialogue with you after the sit has ended, but she has already let you know that things were fine for her perspective - she didn’t worry about the items which were not working etc. What more do you want her to say?
It sounds as if the sitter did a good job in looking after your home and pets, and has communicated well with you, both during and following the sit. There’s really not a lot more you can expect. Once the sit has ended, with happy pets and a clean home, it’s generally time for both sitters and home owners to move on. We do still occasionally hear from - and respond to - some hosts, but only where the sit has been exceptional and we’ve formed good relationships which we all opt to maintain.
From one HO to another, I think you are being a bit unreasonable.
The sit is over. I don’t feel the need for the sitter to communicate anymore with you about it. She probably feels the same way.
You asked how things were…She said great. She sent pic updates. The sit was completed. You already communicated with her twice after the sit. She probably thinks the 3rd time is too much as she isn’t trying to have some acquaintance with you.
Especially since your 3rd text had absolutely nothing to do with anything on her watch.
You stated that the communication during the sit was fine. I don’t think she owes you anything else. Now you know to ask specific questions DURING the sit, not afterward.
I also agree with @Happypets. Unless I really clicked with a sitter and we both agreed, it’s not necessary to communicate after a sit. Otherwise, it can be seen as an annoyance.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I’m both sitter and host, and when I sit I provide extremely specific updates about how things are going, probably TMI.
In the future I’ll have a list of extremely specific questions to ask during the sit.
I’m just really curious what questions these would be. What information do HOs want to know during the sit. I typically just send daily pictures of the pets, not much text because there isn’t anything to say. I assume the HOs want to enjoy their holiday and not spend a lot of time texting. If some issue comes up, I would let them know but otherwise, I’m not sure what other communication would be needed.
So, I’m very curious about what information you (or other HOs) would be looking for during the sit if everything is fine and the pets are following their typical routine.
I’m a sitter but also act as an HO for my family home when the family goes on holiday. Three follow ups (on three consecutive days) post sit would be a tad on the needy side. Where I’ve sat for someone a few times and have a good relationship we might have a bit of friendly back and forward but that’s it. Especially if someone isn’t a full time sitter they may consider themselves off the clock once they have left and checked in/said their thank yous and I think that is really fair. If you want more detailed during sit updates you can specify that before the sit but honestly it can get tedious for everyone if long and frequent check lists are required (expecially if nothing is actually noteworthy). Sitters may start considering this as a red flag or it will come up in feedback putting off future sitters.
Sometimes the host has all the up to date gadgets and thingymabobers that they use daily. Sitters, especially full time nomads or self sufficient travellers, have no need to use or even try out these things. Don’t take it personally . We live very simple lives.
I realize everyone is different, but as a HO, I tell my sitters that I’m fine with an update once a day or every other day.
I don’t need multiple pics and updates during the day. You are right that when I’m away, I’m not trying to be on my phone. However, I tell my sitters that if they have any questions/requests about my pets, apt or, neighborhood to contact me right away. I let them know that they aren’t imposing if they are reaching out.
I think it’s important to make sure that sitters and HOs are on the same page about communication before the sit. I’m completely transparent about everything so sitters don’t feel there is a bait and switch going on. I always bring up my laid back approach during a video chat before I confirm the sit.
I’ll give you a flip side - one sitter said that I didn’t communicate enough with her. Any questions that sitter asked, I answered promptly via WhatsApp. However, I didn’t respond to pic updates about the pets. I didn’t see the need to respond as she was just telling me my pets were fine. The next day, my sitter asked if I was OK bc I didn’t respond to the pic update. I guess she felt like I should have checked-in? That raised my eyebrow a little. The sitter knew that the purpose of my wellness retreat was because it was my father’s death anniversary.
A week after the sit, she sent a text asking how me and my pets are doing. Honestly, I felt her expectations for communication was intrusive and a bit too much. So maybe it’s also not just about communication, maybe also making sure that personalities & expectations align.
If someone is uptight or intrusive, that’s not a good fit for me in general. Now I know to be transparent about this during the video chat as well.
When I sit, I usually tell my hosts that there’s no need to reply to my updates about their pets unless they feel like it. I figure they might be busy or want to enjoy themselves. I need replies only if I have questions. I’m explicit about this, because good communications can save everyone needless worry, stress or such.
I also tell them no need to reply ( we all get overloaded with what’s app) but they usually do, sometimes with lots of holiday pics which I then feel the need to reply to but do so briefly with emoticons etc. I think it’s difficult for some people to not slip into a ‘friend’ mode and automatically exchange pics and info. It’s a strange position afterall, someone living in their home is often a friend or family member rather than a stranger!
@Catin88 it sounds like you and I would be on the same page regarding communications. I don’t care if HOs respond to the daily pictures I send. They usually do, but sometimes it’s just a thumbs up or heart emoji. Occasionally, HOs will send me picture of some beautiful place that they are, which is nice. But if it was daily, I would find it to be a bit much. I wouldn’t send a text to say something like the toaster doesn’t work. I assume it’s their house and they know it doesn’t work and probably just forgot to tell me.
I agree the texting after the sit to see how you were was intrusive. And I don’t like if an HO asks specifics about what I’m doing with my time during the sit, to me that’s intrusive. I’m pretty chill and assume that the HO trusts me or they would not have chosen me as their sitter. So, I’m unclear as to what an HO, such as the OP, who says they want detailed, substantive communications means by that.
Most owners just send heart or thumbs up replies when I send them photos. I think that’s perfectly fine. I don’t send huge messages with lots of text because I don’t feel that’s necessary or even appreciated in most cases.
@Catin88 We generally send a daily update - pics & text. I don’t expect the host to respond in kind- i e writing as much as we’ve written- in fact they rarely do. What I do appreciate is an acknowledgement of an update sent. Even if just an emoji. Most hosts will write a little too e.g Thanks for the update etc. & very occasionally a pic of where they are.
If I sent daily messages and see they get read but are not acknowledged - perhaps for days- i wouldn’t like that & I would start messaging less often as it seems the HO is not that interested.
It rarely happens that we have a mismatch on communication but I do think its important to clarify expectations before the sit starts.
@AllTheFerretsDied I think your expectations for contact post sit are a little too much. Especially the question about the poop when you, yourself, have changed the food post sit! It is just not relevent to the sitter at all. I would find that irritating. If I’d noticed anything off with the pets poop during the sit I’d have notified you. And re-appliances- if something is not working then I just adapt. I would not bother you on holiday unless it broke down on my watch or was something more essential like a washing machine.
You mention in future preparing an ‘extremely specific set of questions’ This sounds a little intimidating!!
Most sitters are pretty self sufficient and don’t like to be micro managed!!
Clarify your expectations but try not to overdo it- you’ll put people off!
or thumbs up replies when I send them photos. I think that’s perfectly fine. I don’t send huge messages with lots of text because I don’t feel that’s necessary or even appreciated in most cases.