It’s not wrong it’s ’being self sufficient’ to get clarification for important discrepancies. What’s not self sufficient is asking questions where the answer is already outlined in the WG or listing.
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Agreed. And out of all the sitters through THS, I’ve only had one who was asking me questions I felt they should have known the answers to by reading the instructions or watching the videos. That was annoying. But without a further explanation as to how to interpret self-sufficiency my fear is that even great sitters will interpret it as “don’t bother the homeowner by asking” and I prefer too many questions to not asking critical ones.
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I don’t have any problem asking Qs if I can’t figure things out on my own. My reviews include specific references to hosts appreciating how self-sufficient I am.
I don’t focus on whether I’ll be dinged on reviews. I trust my judgment and hosts have done that as well.
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If we need info or want to ask questions after 40 sits then we will. Maybe we’re in a new location, a new country, a new culture, with a new breed of dog, who knows. You only find out useful & pertinent stuff if you ask questions, being inquisitive and interested is a good thing! Like @Maggie8K if that means the HO wants to ding a star as that’s not self sufficient enough then so be it. Equally, if someone thinks using loo roll or the pepper pot means we’re not self sufficient (having come from another country with only hand luggage to live in their home and care for their pets) then they’re really not very open minded hosts. #fillyourboots
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Perhaps it’s about the timing and context for questions/actions within an adult relationship…… I think it’s hard to pinpoint the specifics of when another person isn’t demonstrating self- sufficiency. I can pinpoint how it makes me feel though, that I’m not having an adult to adult relationship and that somehow their behaviour has pushed me into rescuer or parent mode… (NLP if anyone spots the reference here).
Self sufficiency to me means that I feel no additional burdens being loaded onto me, and feel that the other person is capable of ‘reasonable’ decision making. It’s all about how it makes me feel. Now what does ‘reasonable’ mean, a famous Judge once said that It meant what most people might think it to mean on a normal day 
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It is a very subjective term and chances are you’ll get many different - and likely all correct - definitions. Perhaps contacting the HO WITHOUT getting into a debate and simply listening to their reasoning would be helpful. Asking out of interest rather than defensiveness can be enlightening !
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Greetings!
Very simple! Just ask! Whatever they say, just thank them for the additional feedback and move on!
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Far too pragmatic 
we prefer philosophical debates in this forum! 
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Greetings @BonnyinBrighton,
LOL!!! I suppose that is true!
Yes, that’s the sort of situation that brings out ‘weird behavioral traits’ in many of us!
Just a thought, but of how much value is a star system anyway? It seems to cause a lot of angst and the ratings are subjective. The words written in a review are of far more value - more specific and less open to interpretation. THS could still provide prompts such as ‘how self-sufficient was your sitter?’, which would probably produce a more informative response than simply seeing a star rating. Without stars as an ‘at a glance’, people might spend a bit longer reading reviews and gain a better insight into their prospective sitter/home owner.
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Thats a great call, maybe do away with star ratings which would force people to actually read.
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The stars are probably a marketing gimmick for THS. It suggests that there is lots and lots of five-star accommodation here, and that there is an enormous pool of perfect sitters.
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Said this on another thread way back. Didn’t get much traction. I’m sure people would still complain they weren’t sufficiently praised (on both sides) but I think this would help. Maybe if you were forced to write a line or two about the categories? I’ve long suggested private feedback but I think for something like self-sufficiency it could sound like a personal criticism, and I doubt many people would say anything.
When staying in the RV, I did not want to have any problems and only used to showers in the community center and facilities for any serious bathroom use. So used very little TP, water etc. I thought I was very self sufficient dealing with a new situation. Getting better sits now.
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I would send a simple message, some thing like, I would like feed back on the 4 stars for self sufficient, so I know how I can improvee next time.
I had a sit before where I was contacted several times daily about things that we had already reviewed- verbally, in videos I left, and in the manual. They preferred to just text me instead of look back through the info to find where something might be or when to take trash out etc. It usually wasn’t a big issue but was slightly irritating and took me out of vacation mode. This is an example of where someone might mark down with the “self-sufficient” category.
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I have now contacted her saying it was fine I just wanted feedback so I could improve. She has explained it was a mistake but couldn’t edit it afterwards. I agree with one suggestion here that the star system isn’t helpful as nothing is explained - nit even what the category covers and I agree that it could stop you actually reading the review. Perhaps just an overall star is needed? Or does that make us all obsessed with getting 5 stars!! I have been a member of other groups which just gave written reviews. It so less stressful!
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Well that’s good if it were a mistake, at least you can screen shot that, and if you find the 4* has had a negative impact you could potentially include it in your message when you apply for sits, but if you still got 5* overall it may not matter anyway, and once you’ve done a few more 5* sits it’ll be washed away into the background.
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Screenshot this and ask member services to correct the mistake .
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