Should Sitters provide their own groceries?

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
42

Ok, often pictures say more than a thousand words.

I am just gonna share a before and after picture to give an example of what I was talking about. Since it is not shown in my profil yet, which house I am currently sitting, I don´t think, that I violate the privacy of the HO.

The first picture is taken during the process of defrosting the freezer. I had already taken out half of the food (forgot to take a picture before) and was getting to the more stucked stuff.

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The second picture is their freezer now. I made sure to preferly throw away the packages with small leftovers, like 5 brokkoli covered in layers of ice.

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Would anyone be seriously mad about it, if that would be their freezer? :thinking:

43

If I had ever let my freezer get into that kind of mess, I’d thank you for the cleanup, LOL. Personally, I’d be embarrassed to have someone stay at my house if I hadn’t prepared for their arrival as a way to extend hospitality. And that’s even to guests who aren’t doing anything to help me, like watch pets.

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44

FWIW, in my professional life, companies like ours make money and we earn our livings by problem-solving. We try to understand the whole flow before attempting solutions, to save ourselves wasted time and effort.

In the case of freezers that are packed, fridges that are dirty, etc., the problem begins with the HO, so typically it’s logical to start there. That’s exactly why THS offers guidance to HOs on prepping for sitters.

If the HOs falls short of such basic hospitality, then the sitter is left to deal with a problem the HO created. (If you’re a HO, the best way to avoid having solutions you dislike is to avoid creating the problem in the first place, as in not leaving room for a sitter to live comfortably, which can affect the care they show your pet(s) and your home. In this scenario, you have the most to gain or lose. Again, that’s logic.)

Note: People generally expect to have food storage where they’re going to live.

Meanwhile, THS says sitters are expected to feed themselves. That means logically if HO chooses to do more, it’s icing. So to expect food is above and beyond the standard.

If you’re a sitter left to deal with problems created by HOs, such as lack of space, you can always discuss ahead, plan workarounds or such. In the end, if a HO is upset that you needed food storage and dings you for it in their review, shrug. Most people will understand that you needed space and you are never obligated to eat someone else’s food just because they didn’t leave you space. If future HOs wouldn’t pick you for their sits over something like that, you’re better off, because they’re not considering your basic needs as a human.

Sitters who do whatever HOs demand are forgetting that THS is an exchange, an equal dynamic. We aren’t orphans or homeless people who should just be grateful to be picked and to accept whatever HOs offer or not.

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45

That is precisely my point - you are imposing your opinion/judgment on the HOs. Would you do the same if the HOs used “poor judgement” in where they placed their furniture?

There are ways to ask the HOs if you can make space in their freezer without starting an argument🤦‍♀️ And if the HOs say “no” (which I think is unlikely), then drop the subject. I live in a very hot climate and like ice cream, but I can live without it at home for the duration of a sit. If it is a long sit (more than a couple of weeks), it would be difficult to manage without a freezer but not impossible. A fridge is more of a necessity.

I’m a HO and sitter here and would far prefer if a sitter asked about rearranging - and possibly discarding - items of mine than to arrive home to a fait accomplis. I would be more likely to deduct a star for self-sufficiency (too much) in the latter case than the former.

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46

Of course there are ways to ask a HO without getting in an argument. But I have to consider the possibility of getting in an argument, if I certainly know, that I would not accept a “No” as an answer.

And why would I want to do the sit without comfort like eating my favourite food? I am not a homeless person, this is my vacation, too - not just the one from the HOs.

And I certainly don´t want to have a vacation with less comfort than in my own home + tasks that comes with housesitting and pet care.

I can´t understand why some people live with such an power imbalance between sitters and HOs. :flushed:

Nobody is doing me a favor with taking me in as a sitter. It is a mutual exchange. Or at least: it should be.

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47

But I have to say: Your home looks lovely and maybe that´s the reason, why you can´t put yourself in the shoes of a home owner who leave their sitter up to them with a filthy home or no storage?

And maybe as a sitter, you only had nice homes to sit, too?

Otherwise, I could just not imagine why you would have such a strong opinion on this topic and think, sitters have to accept whatever conditions they find on a sit.

48

I buy my own groceries. I’m not a guest or a pal. I’m providing a service. I’m not saying I wouldn’t use their salt or sugar, but I wouldn’t use it up. I either bring or buy what I normally use, but if for whatever reason I do use up something of theirs, I replace it with the same size, variety and brand (no reason to be hungry and not eat that Lean Cuisine in the freezer when you can replace it tomorrow!).

Same if I’m in an Airbnb in someone’s actual home. I don’t touch their food, toiletries, etc. The only exception is laundry detergent. (I recently bought some of those laundry detergent sheets so I don’t even have to do that now!) In both instances, I leave a card/gift for the host, and when sitting, treats for the pet. Only once have I ever received anything resembling a welcome gift, though. Which is fine, because it’s not expected.

It’s nice when someone leaves you a few basics to start off with, yes. Just not a requirement—or an indictment of them if they don’t. More often than not, if they’re going away for a while, they will leave behind only a few perishables that they’ll invite you to finish. But if I see expired yogurt in the fridge, for instance, I won’t take it upon myself to throw it away. They may have a purpose in mind for it, or different ideas of when food actually “expires.”

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49

I have never said that sitters need to accept whatever conditions they find. However, any time I travel, I understand that I need to compromise and that I won’t have all the comforts of home. I wouldn’t accept a dirty house or lots of other conditions, and I don’t think that sitters should defer to HOs on everything. However, throwing out the possessions of the HO to make room for your own is unacceptable to me.

I have stayed in imperfect houses. One was very dusty and the other didn’t have a functioning shower. The former was a lovely HO who just obviously had different standards of cleanliness to me. The latter was more problematic because I consider that a working shower is an essential (there was no bathtub). The HO was apologetic and suggested that i stay somewhere else, but it was just for a few days in a very expensive city, so I managed.

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50

No tub AND no shower! You are a better person than me! I probably would have made do with a sponge shower on a bath mat I guess, but I definitely would have left public feedback to warn others!

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51

I did mention it in my review

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52

Honestly, as I HO I would be scared that you didn’t keep the food frozen, and it’s been defrosted/ frozen again, which is a recipe for a food poisoning. I would not be happy with that very random ‘help’

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53

Of course, I made sure it was kept frozen by packing it in an isolated bag :blush:

54

Many folks have insulated bags in their cars or pantries for when they food shop. My last HOs left theirs for me, along with their car. You also can check if there are coolers in a home. Many folks have them for parties and camping.

Personally, I bought an insulated bag like food delivery drivers use. It’s usually in one of our cars or pantries. Amazon sells them. It makes it easier to transfer large amounts of food shopping or takeout and prevents spills from staining your car.

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55

I always say

You are welcome to anything in our fridge and cabinet. If you FINISH anything (or nearly), please replace it.

That way I don’t get a surprise when I go to make a meal and all my olive oil is gone. But they can use it while they are here and if they use it all up, they will replace.

It’s a way to be generous without having all my stuff used up.

56

We’ve done a number of longer sits now and to be real honest, yes we sometimes use something out of the freezer.

Late night munchies, forgot to get something or a small change of plan.
We would never go and use something expensive like a whole lobster (yup, we’ve seen that) But a few vegetables and fries or ice cream.

When we shop next time, we pick up bits we’ve used and replace them (whole bag for half a bag kinda thing)

Same with cupboard essentials, if we’ve used all the salt and pepper, we will just replace the whole thing.

Like i said, we’d never use anything expensive or difficult to replace and we always tend to replace it.

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57

I will always bring my own food/drink because I do not expect the home owner to provide my food and also I like a nice healthy diet and I control all my fruits/veg/meats/cereals/fish etc. However, I always use home owners salt, pepper, dried herbs, oils etc (unless unopened, or what looks like expensive olive oil or something). I never really go into detail about what I will use and what I will not and leave it up to the home owner to specify what they expect (if they do at all). They will often say ‘help yourself to anything’ (and I still do not because I want to control my diet but it is nice to know), or say use up any perishables (which means use nothing else :slight_smile: ). I sort of go with the flow and have never had a problem in 5 years of sitting. I don’t actually like using other peoples frozen stuff. You are right it is a pain if a freezer is packed full but I mainly eat fresh so don’t freeze much. If I needed freezer space I would ask for it.
My only issue is a ‘dirty fridge’ that is full of stuff gone off or going off and I have to clear this out before I use the fridge. Again, it doesn’t happen often and I just get on with it, and move on (part of life as a house sitter, the home owner and myself are not perfect I guess)
I think if you have very specific needs ask before the sit. For example , I do ask for cupboard space to put my food, some draw space, hanging space etc in bedroom (because you may not get it), and it is never a problem…
I take each sit at a time and make a judgement.

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58

I’m sorry you had an experience that caused you to feel taken advantage of. I have found that what home owners offer varies so much. When I first started sitting, I bought all my own food. Because I now do this full time, I cover this info during an interview as having some items provided is benefit. I ask is there specifically is there anything food wise that is off limits and also if I should replace specific items if used. So far this has worked well. Food prices can vary so much between locations. Also I find getting groceries when just arriving to a new location and also having to get acclimated to a new sit can be a bit much. Host asking if they can purchase a few things ahead on or behalf life fruit, juice, milk, toast, etc can be so helpful. I have had several host make food avl with no restrictions, especially during longer sits or in more remote locations. I was once in a mountain location with a 45 min drive to the closest grocery. Most times now, I have mix of buying some items and using some of what is avl as we cook on sits. Still many home owners are struggling to make any space for sitters to have food anywhere. Now that you are clear on this firmer boundary, I would just communicate to sitters that access to fruit is ok, but not freezer items and meat, etc. Hope this issue corrects itself going forward.

59

Yes! I know host are well intended, but many are forgetting to leave space in the fridge, for pantry items, or any space to be not have to live out of a suit case.

60

Yes, thanks for the reminder about it being a mutual exchange. I have met many nice hosts who are not go over the check list they are sent recommending space in the fridge and closets. Also I wish more would check themselves on how to treat sitters. We are not hired help. If servitude is expected, it should be paid for. I am happy to spoil pets as requested, but host who accommodate pets better than human guest invited to their home is something I attempt to observe and rule out in sits I accept.

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61

I tell them to eat anything they want. Unless it is a super short 2-3 day trip and I will want to eat a sandwich when I get back, then I ask to leave some of those leftovers. I learned my lesson once when I came back super late, and nothing was left for me.

On the other end, I’ve had sitters who left me some fruit, eggs, and frozen foods they didn’t get to eat, which is nice when they return the favor. Someone even left a a few rotting bananas on our counter once :grimacing: but they were good to make banana bread with, so no complaints. I did provide some feedback about that though, cause I’m sure there might be HOs who might be disgustedby rotting fruit on the counter.