We have been declined a few times because the person was looking for a single sitter and the only thing that irked me is that if they had just put that in their profile it would’ve saved us time applying and waiting for a response. It also makes me wonder what else wasn’t listed in their profile and I consider it a dodged bullet.
I’m fine with people having whatever preferences they want, but I find the gender stereotypes to be the weakest reason for not choosing a couple.
I’m part of a M/F couple (F) and I’m am the messier person. I get hair everywhere and I have ADHD so I often leave things lying around. Don’t get me wrong, I’m clean, and I clean well before I leave, but it’s my male partner who is vacuuming every few days and wiping down the bathroom.
He tends to be the quieter “calmer” one, only in the sense that he’s more soft spoken and more sedentary (he’s a big reader) so animals love him because he’s a warm unmoving provider of pets while I’m puttering around.
He is also physically stronger than me, so big bags of cat food and cat litter are easier for him to manage. We recently had to take a cat to the vet and having two of us made it so much easier.
There have also been times when one of us was sick during the sit and the other person was able to take care of all the responsibilities.
(This isn’t directly in response to what you are saying OP, just some points as to why some HOs may want to reconsider their prejudices if they want the best sitters.)
I don’t think anyone was saying you or other sitters don’t have choices or that you had to agree with others’ choices. The OP was asking why some hosts choose as they do and everyone was pooling reasons. To me, shrug, I don’t think people necessarily offer “legit” reasons, but as it’s their home, they also don’t need to if they don’t feel like it.
Going against the grain here but re: choosing specific genders for the pet’s sake, I’m not sure why people are saying they don’t think that’s a valid reason. I have definitely met and worked with dogs that show clear discomfort around certain genders due to past experiences so imo, this is not an excuse. I’ve also had adoption applications rejected when I’ve tried to adopt on those exact grounds.
A lot of people are potentially just projecting but there is extensive research to support the fact that some animals prefer or have had trauma surrounding certain genders (usually men). I wouldn’t be offended if my app got rejected because their pet wasn’t comfortable for that reason.
And yes, there is a possibility that maybe YOU could be the exception but unless you have the time and capacity to test that out well before the actual sit happens and build a relationship with the pet, doesn’t seem like it’s worth the risk to me especially given you’re a stranger to that animal.
@CoolCatAunt It is not a stereotype or prejudice of the HO when the animal has shown distinct aversion to one gender. A LOT of rescue dogs who have been abused have these aversions. Doesn’t matter how helpful or kind your SO is if the animal is afraid of him.
I prefer single female sitters. When I’ve come home after a male sitter there have been several broken items and urine on the outside of the toilet and floor. If I wanted to clean up such things I’d get a husband.
Decades ago, we sat a rescue dog who was super sweet and fine around my husband. One day, I walked the pup around our neighborhood, where there were some new homes being built. A construction worker approached, wearing construction boots, a hard hat and such, and the poor dog whimpered, backed away and cowered behind me, making me wonder if he’d been abused by someone who looked that way or what. Maybe just scared of the unfamiliar.
Years later, we got our own rescue dog, who’d been with us for about four years at that point and adores us. One day, my husband — who has never been anything but kind to him — was sweeping the patio with a large push broom. Our dog whimpered and ran under a table to hide, as if he were afraid of being struck.
Animals can remember trauma or maybe they’re just triggered for whatever reason. Personally, I would respect that.
@bakindoki this is a good point of animals and gender. Our kitty is more recluse with male visitors.
We are on vacation with our cat and have had 2 male family members visiting over the month.
We noticed the behavior difference.
We told our family how to adjust and they did and so Ollie came around…ish.
But for sure when the male family members laughed or raised their voices, Ollie would scamper from the room.
I would still accept male THsitters with informing them of Ollie’s “quirk” and trust they would care for him accordingly.
If Ollie were a dog…I’m not sure I would, as I have seem some dogs with certain quirks not adjust well, so putting a male sitter and a dog in that situation in MY HOME …not sure I would…
Of course I would clearly state such preferences in our listing.
Me and my partner sit as a couple. I’ve never been turned down by someone wanting a single person, probably because I look for hints in the listing and don’t apply if I get a whiff of them preferring a solo sitter. Unless they say it’s because their pet is afraid of men as we’re both women.
It doesn’t bother me at all! Everyone’s different and has their reasons. From what I’ve seen its usually spare room size or owners who live alone looking for a similar dynamic.
And that’s why I didn’t mention animals having a preference in my post. I specifically said when owners have a preference because they think men are one way and women are another when we are an example of why that’s not always true.
Yes. I was initially passed over for a long-term sit in a resort community for “a couple who loves to golf, like us” until the couple circled back and said “oops sorry” because they hadn’t properly consulted about dates/commitments. The HOs came back to me, but it didn’t work for me by that point and I felt meh about them due to the reason for their initial decision.
I have been told by houseowners they like a single female in their home as the pets preferred females. One said she thought females left the home cleaner. The same person said dhe preferred single sitters as it kept the cost of the utlities down…
As a sitter I have no issue or try to understand the requirements of a home owner. If I meet their needs and they meet mine I apply if not I move on. We are all different and people will have their reasons, it is not my business really… I just move on and give it no thought.
I’m not sure if I was chosen for my 2 sits because I’m a woman, but I do know that I was chosen because I am ahem older - one of the benefits of being of bus pass age.
As some have said, the opposite happens as well: as a solo sitter, I’ve been passed over multiple times in favour of couples.
Usually the reviews are the giveaway…ohhh, they only have reviews from couples. I don’t always understand it: e.g. 2 cats in a small apartment. Do they really need a couple to look after them, just became the owners are with 2? Normally apartment cats are perfectly fine with a solo sitter as well, but alas…I don’t get to make these decisions.
- one of the benefits of being of bus pass age.