Hi everyone. I’d love to hear from both sitters and homeowners about something I’ve been wondering about.
I’ve completed 45 sits, all uniquely different, in a variety of homes and locations. Most have been good, and several have been wonderful. I’ve been fortunate to sit for gracious, appreciative hosts, including in beautiful, highly desirable locations where finding a sitter presumably isn’t difficult.
What’s prompted this question is that, in my last three sits, I received no thank-you or anything akin to one, either during or after the sit. Not even a brief acknowledgment of the daily updates and photos I sent. This was not the case in the previous 42 sits.
I’m wondering whether something has changed. I understand the world is on fire and the political climate has changed sharply and there’s generally more hostility…but I’m curious whether others have noticed a shift in the culture of house-sitting.
For sitters… Does receiving a thank-you or some acknowledgment of the care you’ve provided matter to you? I’m not talking about tangible things, being left a bottle of wine or a treat, but rather the literal or obviously implied acknowledgment … Does it affect how you feel about a sit or a homeowner afterward?
For homeowners…Do you typically thank your sitters or acknowledge the care they’ve provided? If not, why? Do you see the arrangement as an even exchange in which both parties receive something of value, making an expression of gratitude feel unnecessary? Or do you think about it differently?
I’m interested in hearing different perspectives, including hosts who don’t think a thank-you is necessary.
I think I’ve been fortunate in that every host so far (about 20 sits under my belt) has expressed much gratitude through messages while away as well as kind messages once they’ve returned home. One host asked if there was anything that would have made my stay any better. This was a text to me several days after the sit ended, and I was so grateful she cared enough to ask this question! We had mutually oohed and aahed over how well things had gone and looked forward to a repeat sit. So I guess I’ve been lucky not to have run into this so far. I have a few sits coming up and will come back and update my thoughts if needed, but hopefully not! I do wonder about things like a language barrier and possible cultural differences if you have changed the types of sits you’re doing more recently. And I hope you feel more appreciated next time!
I think it’s awful that you haven’t been thanked by those hosts. I have always been thanked, in varying degrees, from wine/chocolates, a card or messaging/saying thank you in person. Even been thanked when I’ve done paid sits, which I’ve recently embarked on through a different platform. I can’t imagine why a host wouldn’t thank the sitter, very entitled!
Thank you for that. It’s different from previous sits where I did feel appreciated. I have several repeat sits with hosts I adore (ironically, the only time I have been left a bottle of wine was on a paid sit through Rover, the only one I’ve done) As for the last three sits, two I flew from out of state (US) and one was over Christmas… which made it feel even more glaring.
I like a message after the sit. A thank you would be nice but really just any message so I know they got back and everything is fine. If they don’t send a message (or reply to my thank you message), I would wonder if they were not happy and I’d get a bad review.
I like emoticon (smiley, thumbs up, love heart) on photos I send on the sit. I don’t need necessarily need a message, just an acknowledgement. Obviously if I’m sending too many or too few photos I’d like them to say. I definitely don’t want them to feel obliged to have back and forth messaging or exchange on every photo.
The Christmas hosts wrote a great review. The last people left no review but sent a text that said “house looks great” after two nights awake with their sick dog. Last one I just finished. One thing all three had in common was I initiated contact the night before each sit to say “hey, just checked in for my flight” or “eta tomorrow, blah blah blah” having not heard from them since I’d confirmed. On the last sit, the woman texted “how’s my dog?” (on a day where I sent my update later than usual.) Maybe I’m giving too much, but it’s never been a thing in the past. Maybe I should just ask these hosts myself. I really would like to know more about the thinking.
I he a very generous Rover sit recently. Despite the huge fee she paid for two Labradors, she left me a lovely bottle of wine, nice chocs and £30 cash for a takeaway! Like you, I had a THS Christmas sit once where I wasn’t even given a bottle of wine, despite the fact they had boxes of wine from Laithwaites in the house!
Yes, last year not one thanks for a 3 week sit. Had to put up with all sorts of workmen coming and going. Two dogs that pulled like mad to get to other dogs. Updates and photos wanted at least twice a day. Didn’t even acknowledge me when arriving home late evening. And not one word of thanks when leaving the next morning. and yet others have greeted me with a hug and lots of thanks and kind words and saying they would love me to sit again etc. etc. You just feel like you have been treated like the unpaid slave. Just very rude and ill mannered, not to say thank you etc.
If you do research on saying thank you, you will find that some cultures do not say this and the reasons behind it. Most interesting. In western cultures it is considered rude but not everywhere in the world. One culture thinks it’s an insult to say it to family or friends as it is too formal. So I would only think it was bad manners if I was sitting in a country where thank you was part of the culture. It also said that the younger generation in western cultures are now saying appreciate you instead of thank you. I sit for a younger person who always after a sit text me and says, appreciate you instead of thank you. I couldn’t imagine not saying thank you to someone who just watched my house and my pets but as a kid I was constantly drilled how important please and thank you were. If you were given something as a kid you might hear your mom say, I didn’t hear thank you.
All my hosts have said thank you, including my latest, who also bought chocolate to send me, since I left before she returned.
She even expressed concern for my safety, saying I should leave early enough so that I wouldn’t have to drive on dark, winding roads on my way home, a few hours away.
She also thanked me in her review, for making her trip possible. Coincidentally, I thanked her in my review as well, and via text message.
That’s the wild part with these sits too. One was a winter storm and questionable roads. Another, the dog got sit. This last one was a tropical storm. Almost seems like the easier the sit, the more gracious and considerate the host. I’m sorry you were treated that way. It feels awful.
Always! The last one I left was honest and fair. I have not posted this last one, but after reading some of these responses, I might soften it a bit. We shall see
For me too, but I’m in my fifties, and the hosts were probably sixty ish. There are interesting cultural norms around gift giving too, including when and how to open them . Appreciate you!
I’ve noticed this too, and not just with house sitting. It seems that somewhere along the way, particularly since the pandemic, basic manners like saying thank you have become less common. I started noticing it at work and even among friends. i’ve been fortunate to have some wonderful homeowners who genuinely appreciate what we do, and I’ve developed friendships with several of them. I don’t expect any gifts or anything special. To me, house sitting is a mutual exchange, more like friends doing each other a favor. But that doesn’t mean a simple thank you isn’t appreciated, and it should go both ways.
I’m curious whether your last three sits were all in the US. I’ve found that some of the sits I’ve done here have felt more transactional, almost like grabbing an Uber. You book the service, it gets done, and everyone moves on. So I wonder if that could be part of it too.
I’m slowly learning not to expect acknowledgment, but I still think it’s a shame when something as simple as saying thank you seems to be disappearing.
As hosts we feel important to show our gratitude to our sitters. First we do so by preparing a welcome basket with food goodies and some wine. We also like to provide them with a wearable blanket that they can keep to help them cope with our Canadian winter , especially if they are not used to winter. We thank them multiple times in different ways throughout our communications during the sit. We have also been communicating with them on WhatsApp after the sit. Our first sitters have been repeat sitters and may still be in the future and they had invited us to read their travel blog so we give them feedback. Our second sitter is from Europe and we have been communicating with her for information about places she recommends when we plan to visit Europe in an upcoming trip. The sitters are the reason we can go on 8-9 weeks trips with total peace of mind and we are extremely grateful for that.
It is poor manners to not even say thank you. I say thank you when wait staff bring me a plate of food, even though it’s their job and we tip. Saying thank you is a basic acknowledgement that another human being did something for you, paid or not. I also find it nice when sitters say thank you for trusting us to care for your pets and home. I think basic manners have dropped considerably everywhere, sadly.
, especially if they are not used to winter. We thank them multiple times in different ways throughout our communications during the sit. We have also been communicating with them on WhatsApp after the sit. Our first sitters have been repeat sitters and may still be in the future and they had invited us to read their travel blog so we give them feedback. Our second sitter is from Europe and we have been communicating with her for information about places she recommends when we plan to visit Europe in an upcoming trip. The sitters are the reason we can go on 8-9 weeks trips with total peace of mind and we are extremely grateful for that.